"Of all the world leaders who have visited Britain, only Nelson Mandela and the Pope have addressed bigger public gatherings than Narendra Modi's rally at Wembley," boasts a spokeswoman for the UK Welcomes Modi organisation.

It is billed as a grand community reception, and 60,000 Modi supporters - almost all of Indian origin - are expected to crowd into the sports stadium in north London on Friday afternoon.
It will be his first visit to Britain as prime minister and many in the Indian community have been eagerly awaiting this moment.
"People are going mad for Modi, Modi, Modi," says CB Patel, a London-based publisher and columnist and longstanding supporter of India's prime minister. "I call it Modimania."
Wherever Mr Modi goes - and he has spent a lot of time globetrotting in the 18 months he has been in office - he seeks to talk directly to the Indian diaspora.
He has drawn huge crowds at venues ranging from New York's Madison Square Garden to Dubai's cricket stadium, as well as many smaller events in places ranging from the Seychelles to Paris.
The gathering at Wembley just a few days after the Hindu religious festival of Diwali is expected to be his biggest yet.
The organisers say they can't meet the demand for the free tickets.
The cost is being met largely by donations - 10,000 people are said to have contributed - along with businesses that  are both supporting the event and paying to advertise.
Not all the 1.5m people of Indian origin living in Britain are cheerleaders for Mr Modi and his Hindu nationalist party, the BJP.
A Modi Not Welcome campaign is organising protests during his visit, complaining of religious intolerance and an autocratic style of government.
Part of his purpose, say these campaigners, is to create a worldwide network of Hindu right-wingers - something they regard as worrying.
But there is broad enthusiasm among the Indian diaspora for Narendra Modi. Here's why:
The courting of Indians abroad is in part about money. The 30 million Indians living outside the country contribute an estimated $70bn (Â£45bn) to the economy each year in remittances.
Narendra Modi has already taken steps to encourage diaspora investment in India, as well as making it easier for those with foreign passports to spend time in what many regard as their mother country.
Some wealthy Indians overseas are also said to contribute generously to political parties back home.
Political financing in India is notoriously murky, and views differ about how important diaspora money is to the BJP - but academic experts say there is little doubt that right-wing movements do well from this source of funds.
While in London, Narendra Modi will want to remind David Cameron that India may prove a more reliable Asian ally than China, whose president, Xi Jinping, recently enjoyed a conspicuously successful trip to Britain.
As a head of government, Modi won't get the full pomp and pageantry that greets heads of state such as President Xi.
And while the British government's overture to China is seen as a bold and distinctive foreign policy initiative, there's not the same diplomatic buzz about the Indian leader's arrival.
But British MPs and political leaders - many of whom are being invited to the Wembley event - are bound to be impressed by Narendra's Modi's ability to mobilise large numbers of supporters.
It is not often a UK politician attracts a stadium-size crowd.
Andrew Whitehead, a former BBC India correspondent, is honorary professor at the University of Nottingham and at Queen Mary, University of London.


Each school day, millions of children across the Unites States pledge allegiance to their flag and their country "One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

But in the aftermath of a bitterly contested presidential election, the rifts laid bare by that campaign have refused to close - one nation under God, perhaps, but one riven with division.
And it is not only adults who have noticed.
Children across America have been writing letters to President-elect Donald Trump calling for kindness, compassion and unity.
Molly Spence Sahebjami, a mother from Seattle, started the campaign with a Facebook group. Launched the day after Mr Trump's victory, the private group's membership has now swelled to more than 10,000.
The idea was sparked following a conversation with her own young son, a kindergarten student, she told the Washington Post.
After her son expressed concern about some of the comments Trump has made about Muslims - Molly and her family have relatives of Iranian descent - she encouraged him to write to the President-elect.
"Why don't you talk to him about why it's important to be kind?" the Washington Post reports her as asking him.
Now, children from across the world have followed suit and their parents have been sharing the images on social media using the hashtag #KidsLettersToTrump.
Alison and her son Tommy, 9, followed the election closely from the UK.
"We encourage him to make up his own mind about things," Alison told the BBC.
"As a thoughtful, kind young boy he has been upset by some of the language and views he has heard during the election.
"His letter is in his own words and the drawing his own expression of what he hopes from his new president."
Lara and her family live in Texas. Her 13-year-old daughter decided to write a letter to Mr Trump the day after his election.
"She had a lot of questions about why someone would vote for him despite how he spoke about women, minorities and the disabled," Lara said.
"I didn't have a lot of answers for that question other than to say that people felt strongly that he would do a better job running the country.
"I tried to explain to her that just because we had different opinions about how to run the country did not mean that we did not support the country and wish him success.
"I suggested that she write down her feelings. She chose to put them in a letter and she blew me away."
Campaign organiser Molly said: "I set up the page because where I live, and among many of my Facebook friends from across the country, there's a very prevalent feeling among kids that Trump is 'the mean man' and they were confused about why he won."
She hopes that children from all sides of the political spectrum will write positive letters to Mr Trump.
"We're also encouraging kids who are Trump supporters to submit letters if they'd like to congratulate him and give him some advice about being more kind. Nobody's perfect and I think that aside from politics and policies, we can all agree that our new President-elect needs to be a little more kind and respectful at a basic human level," she added.
By Chris Bell, UGC and Social News Team


Kurdish forces have carried out new attacks on positions of so-called Islamic State (IS) in northern Iraq to retake the town of Bashiqa, near Mosul.

Kurdish Peshmerga commanders said they made large advances into IS territory and secured part of a highway that will limit IS's freedom of movement.
Turkey joined the fight against IS on Sunday, directing artillery fire at jihadist positions in Bashiqa.
The Iraqi PM had rejected an offer of Turkish involvement on Saturday.
Kurdish fighters killed dozens of IS militants, cordoned off eight villages and blocked IS's ability to supply Mosul with reinforcements.
The top US commander in Iraq, Lt Gen Stephen Townsend, told reporters there had been "considerable success" in Bashiqa on Sunday.
But he cautioned: "I have not received a report that says every house has been cleared, every Daesh [IS fighter] has been killed and every IED [roadside bomb] has been removed."
Journalists have not yet been allowed into the town.
Reuters TV footage, shot from a nearby village, showed smoke rising from Bashiqa as Kurdish fighters launched attacks against IS with mortars and machine guns.
Coalition forces have continued to push back IS positions around Mosul. Peshmerga commanders say they have advanced within 9km (5.5miles) of the city.
Turkey has insisted that its forces cannot remain idle during the fight to drive IS militants from Mosul. On Sunday, Turkish forces in Iraq fired weapons on militants in Bashiqa. Turkey said Kurdish fighters had asked for help.
Turkish Prime Minister Binali Yildirim said in televised comments: "The Peshmerga have mobilised to cleanse the Bashiqa region from Daesh [IS].
"They asked for help from our soldiers at the Bashiqa base. So we are helping the tanks with our artillery there."
Bashiqa is close to a military base where Turkish troops are training Sunni Muslim fighters, both Arabs and Kurds.
On Friday, US Defense Secretary Ash Carter suggested Turkey should play a role in the Mosul offensive, but the Iraqi PM Haider al-Abadi balked at the idea, telling the US that there was no need for Turkish forces yet.
In an apparent attempt to divert attention from the Mosul offensive, IS militants attacked the town of Rutba, in the western province of Anbar, on Sunday.
An Iraqi military spokesman reported three suicide car bombs in the city but said the situation was now "under control".
The town had been under IS control since 2014, but was taken back into government hands four months ago. Rutba's mayor said IS entered the city through sleeper cells.
As the pressure builds on IS in and around Mosul, the group has been counter-attacking with suicide bombers and launching assaults in other areas.
On Friday, IS launched an attack on the city of Kirkuk, south-east of Mosul. At least 46 people were killed and many more injured. The city remains under curfew and there were reports of continuing sporadic clashes on Sunday.
Mr Carter, who is visiting Kurdish officials in Irbil, praised the efforts of Peshmerga forces
"They fight extremely well. But because they're fighting hard, they suffer... casualties,'' he said.
Mr Carter said Washington would supply extra support to the Iraqis if it was requested and said the US was planning a simultaneous operation in IS's Syrian stronghold Raqqa, according to the Associated Press news agency.
He said Washington wanted to begin military operations against IS fighters in Raqqa "as soon as possible".
A US-led coalition is backing the assault on Mosul with warplanes and military advisers.
Some 30,000 Iraqi security force personnel, Kurdish Peshmerga fighters, Sunni Arab tribesmen and Shia militiamen are involved in the offensive.
Is the IS group finished?
Voices from Mosul as battle nears
Dodging ghosts of IS in the desert
Turkey insists forces cannot remain idle
The UN says that 5,000 people have been displaced so far by the recent fighting around Mosul. It expects another 200,000 will be uprooted in the coming weeks.
On Friday a sulphur factory outside of Mosul was set on fire by militants. Up to 1,000 people have been treated in hospital for the effects of toxic smoke.
Aid agencies are bracing for a displacement of up to one million civilians as the battle continues. The UN says some 700,000 people are expected to need shelter.


The whole of Europe has stood in silence for one minute as a show of support to the people of Paris, France.

The French president, Francois Hollande, stood in a crowd of students in Paris at Sorbonne university.
Across the French capital people paid their respects.
In Berlin, in Germany, people gathered outside the French Embassy building.
Throughout the weekend, people around the world have been gathering in towns and cities lighting candles and leaving messages.
France was shocked when it's capital city was attacked on Friday night.
More than 120 people lost their lives and the French police and army were called in to help keep people safe.
The radical Islamist group that calls itself Islamic State has said that it carried out the attacks.
IS are an extremist group based mainly in Syria and Iraq.
There are lots of problems and fighting in Syria and Iraq.
One cause is the difference between two groups - Sunnis and Shias - who both follow the religion of Islam.
World leaders have been offering their support to France.
The British Prime Minister David Cameron said, "Our thoughts and prayers are with the French people. We will do whatever we can to help."
Over the weekend sports fans and players also stopped to show their respect to Paris.
A minute's silence was held at the World ATP tennis finals in London on Sunday.
England players also stood in silence during their training session on Monday morning.
England are due to play France in a friendly match on Tuesday November 17th.


Commonwealth Games judo champion Kimberley Renicks has been given a major boost as she eyes this summer's Olympics in Rio.

The 28-year-old has secured sponsorship that will enable her to compete at the remaining tournaments before Great Britain's judo team is named.
Renicks told BBC Scotland: "It's taken the pressure off, so now I don't have to focus on doing so many fund-raisers.
"It makes me more focused on the training and getting to the events."
Despite being the British number one in the under 48kg weight category, Renicks needs to be ranked in the top 16 in the world to gain selection but is at present lying 31st.
Thanks to £6,000 donated by Exsel Group, a Glasgow-based information technology company, the Scot will now compete at World Cup and Grand Prix events around the world as well as hopefully qualifying for the European Championships in Russia in April.
These events all offer qualifying points needed if Renicks is to make Rio.
"The Olympic dream is still on," she said. "I need 300 points to qualify and, with the events coming up, there are about 1000 potential points up for grabs."
Renicks presently has 27 points but believes gaining the remaining points is within her range.
She admits she never once thought about quitting despite concerns about where the funding for her next fight was coming from.
"It's been a stress," Renicks admitted. "My sister's been taking a lot of that off me - doing a lot of fund-raisers, but you're still worrying about the money side of things."
The new sponsorship money has also helped her sister, Louise, who herself won a gold medal at Glasgow 2014 before having to retire from judo through injury and now acts part-time as Renicks' coach.
Louise, 33, said: "It's allowing me to focus on the job that I'm supposed to be doing and that I find easier - helping to coach Kimberley.
"I was worried we were going to get into debt, which is something we're never done.
"I was put in touch with Exsel Group and, after a meeting, they told me they were going to give us the money we needed - I just burst out crying.
"I felt embarrassed, but it was sign of just how much stress I was under. To have the company believe in us is incredible."
The sisters are also being supported and backed by British Judo and Judo Scotland.


Atheists "are broadly perceived as potentially morally depraved and dangerous" - even in secular countries.

According to a new study, some atheists even have an in-built "anti-atheist bias" when it comes to judging a person's morality.
But anti-atheist bias was strongest where there are high numbers of believers, like the United Arab Emirates, United States and India.
Only New Zealand and Finland did not exhibit a clear bias against atheists.
The study, put together by an international team and published in the journal Nature Human Behaviour, took into account the responses of more than 3,000 people across 13 countries and five continents.
Those who took part were asked whether an imagined person, who tortured animals as a child before becoming a teacher and then killing five homeless people, was more likely to be religious or atheist.
Across the study group, it was found people were twice as likely to believe the killer was an atheist.
Study co-author Will Gervais, a psychology professor at the University of Kentucky in Lexington, told news agency AFP:  "It is striking that even atheists appear to hold the same intuitive anti-atheist bias.
"I suspect that this stems from the prevalence of deeply entrenched pro-religious norms. Even in places that are currently quite overtly secular, people still seem to intuitively hold on to the believe that religion is a moral safeguard."


Guiseley have signed Forest Green goalkeeper Jonny Maxted for an undisclosed fee.

The 23-year-old joined the Nethermoor Park side on a three-month loan deal in September and has made 12 appearances for the National League strugglers.
The Lions are bottom of the table, four points adrift of safety.
"We've been really impressed with Jon while he's been with us so we were keen to get him under permanent contract," football secretary Adie Towers said.


Labour's proposed "mansion tax" on properties worth more than £2m is "crude" and "short-termist", ex-Cabinet minister Lord Mandelson has said.

He told BBC Two's Newsnight programme he did not like the idea of "clobbering people" and preferred a Lib Dem idea of adding new council tax bands.
"It will take longer to introduce, that's true, but it will be more effective and efficient," he said.
Labour said it was right to ask the rich to make a bigger contribution.
The mansion tax is one of Labour's main 2015 manifesto commitments, with the proceeds due to be used to fund the recruitment of 38,000 new GPs, nurses, midwives and other NHS professionals.
Several Labour candidates for Mayor of London in 2016 have expressed concerns that the steep rise in house prices in the English capital in recent years will see family homes become liable for the tax.
And Lord Mandelson, a leading Blairite who served as business secretary in the last Labour government, suggested it was not the best way to address problems of inequality and concentration of wealth among an increasingly small, international elite.
"We don't have an efficient way of taxing property in Britain," he said. "I don't happen to think the mansion tax is the right policy response to that, I think it's crude, I think it's short-termist.
"What we need is what I think the Liberal Democrats are proposing and that is the introduction of further bands that relate to different values of property within the council tax system. That's what I would like to see.
"It will take longer to introduce, that's true, but it will be more effective and efficient in the long term than just sort of clobbering people with a rather sort of crude, short-term mansion tax".
Under its plans, Labour has said most people who own homes worth between £2m and £3m will pay £250 a month in extra taxes while owners of homes worth "tens of millions" and second home owners would pay much higher rates.
It has said the tax would apply to fewer than 0.5% of homes in the UK, since the threshold for the tax will rise in line with average prices for high-value properties, not inflation.
Labour MP and London mayoral candidate Diane Abbott called for the proceeds of the mansion tax to be spent in the area where it is levied, in London's case on social housing.
The Lib Dems, who originally called for a mansion tax on £1m properties before the 2010 election, have since refined their plans and called for a review of council tax bands in place since the early 1990s, with new bands above £2m introduced.
The Conservatives have questioned Labour's estimate of how much a mansion tax would raise and pointed to its planned reform of stamp duty bands and previous increases in taxes on properties bought through corporate and off-shore vehicles.
Conservative chairman Grant Shapps said: "With Mandelson joining the chorus of Labour voices opposed to Labour's homes tax, it is clearer than ever that Ed Miliband is a weak leader peddling a bad policy."
A Labour Party spokeswoman said the mansion tax would help fund 20,000 more nurses, 8,000 more GPs, 5,000 more home care workers and 3,000 more midwives.
She added: "When working people have seen their wages fall by £1,600 a year since 2010 it is right to ask those who have the most to make a bigger contribution."


A football-loving five-year-old with terminal cancer has begun new treatment in a bid to try to prolong his life.

Sunderland fan Bradley Lowery was diagnosed with neuroblastoma in 2013, his mother Gemma said.
In December 250,000 well-wishers, inspired by the youngster's courage, sent Christmas cards to his home in Blackhall Colliery, near Hartlepool.
Fundraising manager Lynn Murphy, who has helped raise £700,000 for Bradley said he was doing "great".
She said he started new treatment in a bid to "shrink" his tumours and give him more time.
"He is on the second round of the new treatment, the first round was quite gruelling but after the first two days he was doing great", Ms Murphy said.
Last year more than £700,000 was raised to pay for treatment.
On his Facebook page, Ms Lowery said: "Once we give this treatment a chance Bradley will get rescanned to see if it is working in around three weeks time.
"I am hoping and praying it is and that we can continue on it, my baby deserves a break, he deserves a chance to live."
Ms Lowery said that eventually her son "will lose his fight"..
Fewer than 100 children in the UK are diagnosed each year with neuroblastoma and most sufferers are under five years old.
Bradley took part in the warm-up against Chelsea on 14 December, scoring a goal.
The youngster was named joint-winner of Match of the Day's Goal of the Month alongside Manchester United's Henrikh Mkhitaryan.
Everton pledged £200,000 to the cause in September, when Bradley was mascot for Sunderland's home fixture with the Toffees at the Stadium of Light.
His appearance at Goodison Park was much anticipated, with travelling City fans holding a banner saying: "Cancer has no colours, one Bradley Lowery".
Prior to kick-off, Bradley jogged around on the pitch after arriving with the teams from the tunnel.


Has India's Prime Minister Narendra Modi lost the plot?

This week, his BJP government backed down on its controversial land acquisition bill, which would have made it easier for land to be used for industry and infrastructure projects. It has, more or less, returned to the old law approved by the former Congress party government which actually made it tougher for industry to acquire land from farmers.
This is a big blow to Mr Modi's land plans and is seen by many as the beginning of the end of reform.
In fact, the prime minister has shown little appetite for reform so far: last year his government rolled back a suburban train fare hike after protests from commuters, a move that a once-sympathetic columnist now says was an act of "spineless populism".
Presently, parliament is gridlocked with protests by opposition parties, who are demanding the resignations of two prominent BJP leaders -  Foreign Minister Sushma Swaraj and Rajasthan Chief Minister Vasundhara Raje  - for helping former IPL cricket chief Lalit Modi, who lives in London and is wanted by the Indian authorities over corruption allegations he denies.
With an outright majority in the lower house but lacking one in the upper house, Mr Modi's BJP has fumbled badly in parliament, displaying little strategic acumen and poor political management, as one Indian newspaper remarked.
Key bills, like the goods and services tax, India's single biggest tax reform after independence, are stuck. Rahul Gandhi, leader of a weakened Congress party and apparently short of original ideas, is suddenly looking belligerent and his party resurgent - despite only having 44 MPs.
That's not all.
This week's hasty and inept decision to block access to internet porn and almost immediately lift the ban made the government the butt of social media jokes. And many believe that Mr Modi's government is being petty, vindictive and partisan in browbeating critical NGOs, hounding a prominent social activist and packing educational institutions with people whose credentials many find dubious.
In a piece full of foreboding, analyst Mihir Sharma accused the prime minister of misusing state machinery to hound critics and target NGOs, adding that Mr Modi was "intelligently putting into place the structures that will change the nature of India's liberal democracy forever".
Clearly, Mr Modi's honeymoon has ended earlier than expected.
Political scientist Ashutosh Varshney believes that Mr Modi's legitimacy has been declining for a while. Despite his useful globetrotting and foreign policy successes, he is seen to have been less successful at home.
The prime minister has often been silent in the face of rabble-rousing by hardline elements in his party.
February's debacle in the Delhi elections, when the BJP was trounced by the anti-corruption AAP, was attributed by many to BJP hubris. Commentators like Swaminathan S Anklesaria Aiyar now say Mr Modi has been "vacillating and unwilling to fight to the finish on any difficult issue", happy "coining slogans rather than in implementing tough decisions".
Mr Modi, says Mr Aiyar scathingly, "presides today over apathetic sense of drift, defensiveness and lack of conviction".
So can Mr Modi turn the tide?
Political scientist Milan Vaishnav of the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace in Washington says Mr Modi's honeymoon may have ended prematurely in part "because of his government's inability to sell its programme for reform".
"This has two aspects: the first is devising a coherent reform vision in which all government agencies are marching in lockstep. Unfortunately, the government has stumbled on this first step; even within the finance ministry, for instance, there have been a multiplicity of voices on how strongly to break with past policies," he tells me.
"This incoherence has been complicated by a second, related problem: an inability to use the government's megaphone to sell its plan to the masses."
It is still early days for Mr Modi's government. Also, the hand the Congress is playing is limited and its electoral future remains bleak.
Observers say Mr Modi needs to swiftly script a recovery: less arrogance, a better team of ministers and advisers, initiating crucial institutional and regulatory reforms, and learning the arts of political and social bipartisanship could help spur a recovery of sorts. But it won't be easy.
If the BJP wins crucial state elections in Bihar, it will prove that Mr Modi's personal popularity still remains reasonably high. If it loses, it could be a sign that Mr Modi may have squandered the massive mandate that a very hopeful India awarded him last year.


Queen of the South claimed their first win since August by beating Greenock Morton in the Scottish Championship.

Derek Lyle headed home Alex Harris's cross to give Queens the lead just before the quarter-hour mark.
Ryan Conroy's shot trickled wide and Harris' long-range effort was tipped over as the hosts pushed for a second.
Morton crept back into the game, though, and Alex Samuel had a shot from eight yards out for the visitors, but it went over.
Match ends, Queen of the South 1, Morton 0.
Second Half ends, Queen of the South 1, Morton 0.
Delay in match Mark Millar (Queen of the South) because of an injury.
Mark Millar (Queen of the South) is shown the yellow card for a bad foul.
Foul by Mark Millar (Queen of the South).
Romario Sabajo (Morton) wins a free kick in the defensive half.
Attempt missed. Lee Kilday (Morton) header from the centre of the box misses to the right.
Foul by Alex Harris (Queen of the South).
Romario Sabajo (Morton) wins a free kick in the defensive half.
Corner,  Morton. Conceded by Chris Higgins.
Jake Pickard (Queen of the South) wins a free kick on the right wing.
Foul by Jon Scullion (Morton).
Substitution, Morton. Romario Sabajo replaces Mark Russell.
Substitution, Queen of the South. Jake Pickard replaces Kyle Jacobs.
Substitution, Queen of the South. Mark Millar replaces Derek Lyle.
Foul by Chris Higgins (Queen of the South).
Thomas O'Ware (Morton) wins a free kick in the attacking half.
Corner,  Queen of the South. Conceded by Ricki Lamie.
Substitution, Morton. Joe McKee replaces Ross Forbes.
Attempt missed. Jon Scullion (Morton) right footed shot from the centre of the box misses to the right.
Substitution, Morton. Jon Scullion replaces Stefan McCluskey.
Attempt blocked. Alex Harris (Queen of the South) left footed shot from outside the box is blocked.
Aidan Smith (Queen of the South) wins a free kick in the defensive half.
Foul by Ricki Lamie (Morton).
Attempt saved. Lee Kilday (Morton) right footed shot from the centre of the box is saved in the bottom right corner.
Attempt missed. Alex Samuel (Morton) left footed shot from the centre of the box is just a bit too high.
Attempt missed. Bobby Barr (Morton) left footed shot from outside the box is just a bit too high.
Attempt missed. Mark Russell (Morton) left footed shot from outside the box is too high.
Attempt blocked. Alex Samuel (Morton) right footed shot from outside the box is blocked.
Kyle Jacobs (Queen of the South) wins a free kick in the defensive half.
Foul by Ross Forbes (Morton).
Chris Higgins (Queen of the South) wins a free kick on the right wing.
Foul by Denny Johnstone (Morton).
Second Half begins Queen of the South 1, Morton 0.
First Half ends, Queen of the South 1, Morton 0.
Lewis Kidd (Queen of the South) wins a free kick in the defensive half.
Foul by Michael Tidser (Morton).
Hand ball by Derek Lyle (Queen of the South).
Darren Brownlie (Queen of the South) wins a free kick in the attacking half.
Foul by Ricki Lamie (Morton).


A police force has been mocked for issuing the "worst e-fit ever" after the picture was likened to cartoon character Fred Flintstone.

The suspect image, of a man wanted in connection with a robbery, was posted on Kent Police's Facebook page.
But the "extra sideburn" and apparent resemblance to the Stone Age quarry worker attracted howls of derision rather than witness statements.
The force declined to comment on the response.
It issued the image in connection with a robbery of a 75-year-old man in Cliftonville, Margate, on 26 September.
Over one hundred people have shared the image, with dozens adding their thoughts underneath.
Sarah Jane Unsworth described it as "the worst e-fit I've ever seen", while Joe Higson asked: "Did someone at police HQ get carried away with the black pen??"
Robbie Britton said: "By the looks of this you're looking for a guy with a wife called Wilma and a pet dinosaur."
While Jim Pooley warned: "You see the suspect, yabba dabba, don't approach him."
The attack happened at around 10:30 BST in an alleyway between Dalby Square and Athelstan Road, close to a car park.
In its appeal for information, Kent Police said the victim was intially approached by one assailant before two more joined them.
He managed to fight the three offenders off and they ran away, police said.


Hawaii Five-O, one of television's iconic cop shows, is being remade more than 40 years after it first aired in the US.

Set in the 50th state, the police drama starring Jack Lord as Detective Steve McGarrett ran from 1968-1980.
It featured an elite branch of the Hawaii State Police force and was perhaps best known for McGarrett's catchphrase, "Book 'em, Danno", and the show's memorable theme tune.
The new show pays homage to the original, although it is a 21st Century take on the classic series.
"We're trying to retain the integrity of the original ideas, characters and stories in a new contemporary, aggressive kind of way," says Alex O'Loughlin, the Australian actor who plays McGarrett.
"The sense of humour is different. If you look at the original show it was a long time ago, it came off the air 30 years ago and the humour was very different.
"We can do a lot more, we're pushing a lot of boundaries," he says. "It's a really modern reboot."
Fresh from Lost, where he played Jin-Soo Kwan, actor Daniel Dae Kim gets to stay in Hawaii as Detective Chin Ho Kelly.
"I was really excited because I felt like after a run of six years on Lost I was ready for something new in terms of energy and creative input," he explains.
"There are so many times when you start a project and no-one knows anything about it, and you spend a lot of time trying to explain to people what the premise is.
"We're very fortunate in that everyone knows what Hawaii Five-O is and what they're going to get."
But viewers will get something very different. The re-imagination of Hawaii Five-O is a fast-moving, action-packed drama with a much grittier feel than the original.
Acting has evolved and stylistically the differences are enormous, says O'Loughlin.
"You look at television back then and you look at it now.  We want a documentary feel to some of this stuffâ€¦ we want to find as much realism as we can," he adds.
Only one episode, the pilot show, has been made. During the summer the first series will be shot on location in Hawaii, and the drama will air for the first time in the US in the autumn.
The first show sets the scene and explains McGarrett's background.
"The difference between this show and the original is that in the original you didn't know where McGarrett came from," explains O'Loughlin.
"You didn't know his back story and in this one you do. You know why he comes to the island - it's all revealed in the pilot and that's how we kick the show off.
"He's a navy seal.  He has a mission that he sets out on in the beginning of the pilot, and that's what leads him to the beginning of our adventure which will be Hawaii Five-O."
Hawaii Five-O is just one of a several new dramas that network executives in the US hope will become the next must-watch show on TV.
The CBS network is also launching Blue Bloods, a legal and family drama starring Tom Selleck.  The show follows a family of cops in New York.
The Defenders is a legal drama/comedy set in Las Vegas starring Jim Belushi and Jerry O'Connell.
"It's a show about two men who are very good attorneys but not so good at handling life," says executive producer Carol Mendelsohn.
In the cut-throat world of television, finding that magic formula for a new show can be fraught with problems.
"Broadcasters are looking to the American production machine for the next CSI, for the next NCIS, for the next Lost, the next 24," says Armando Nunez, president of CBS Studios International.
Hawaii Five-O is a tried and test franchise, although re-working an old idea does not guarantee success.
"There are certain problems peculiar to launching a show that is already a named brand like Hawaii Five-O, which would be similar to when we launched the spin-offs to CSI," says Ms Mendelsohn, executive producer behind both CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and The Defenders.
"There are also problems attendant to launching a brand new show that nobody is familiar with... you never know until you're on the air," she adds.
"We love everything about The Defendersâ€¦ we just hope that a year from now we're talking about season two."
Daniel Dae Kim says he hopes the lure of paradise will help build a loyal audience for Hawaii Five-O.
"In the dead of winter when there's no sunlight around half of the planet, when you turn on your TV after a long hard day, you want to be able to see something that brings you a little pleasure," he says.
"When you see beautiful beaches and palm trees and beautiful people, it'll be a little bit of escapism with your entertainment."


The death of a man whose near-complete skeleton was found at the side of a motorway is not being treated as suspicious, police said.

A single human bone was first found in March close to junction 45 of the M1 in woods near Temple Newsam, Leeds.
Searches at the scene in April later revealed most of a skeleton.
West Yorkshire Police said the man had now been identified as coming from eastern Europe. No further details have been released.


Batsman Neil Broom looks set to leave Derbyshire a year before his deal ends after being recalled by New Zealand.

Broom, 32, signed a two-year contract in 2015, but has asked to be released so he can join the Black Caps squad for the three-match one-day series against Bangladesh which starts on 26 December.
He joined Derbyshire on a domestic contract but would count as an overseas player after his international recall.
Broom said playing international cricket was "the ultimate".
He told the New Zealand Cricket website:  "I appreciate everything Derbyshire have done for me and have really enjoyed my time with the club.
"At the end of the day I couldn't pass up the opportunity to represent New Zealand and am excited about the opportunity to play international cricket again."
A Derbyshire club statement only confirmed that Broom had asked to leave.
The statement added: "Neil Broom, whose current deal with the club runs until the end of the 2017 season, has made the request to allow him to return to international cricket with New Zealand.
"Derbyshire is currently in communication with Broom and Cricket New Zealand and will make a further statement in due course."
Derbyshire already have Sri Lanka's Jeevan Mendis and Imran Tahir of South Africa sharing their overseas player's role next season, but are allowed a second overseas for the T20 Blast.
Christchurch-born Broom's last international appearance came in a T20 game against Sri Lanka in November 2013.


Labour's manifesto itemises revenue-raising measures it says will bring in an extra £48.6bn a year.

The biggest increase in tax take by far, according to Labour's plans, will come from an increase in corporation tax.
It's currently 19% and Labour plans to increase that rate to 26% by 2021.
Once that's done, Labour says corporation tax will raise £19.4bn per year.
There are other measures to raise revenue: VAT on private school fees, for example, and a levy on what Labour calls excessive pay - starting with a 2.5% levy paid by employers on pay packages over £330,000.
The manifesto also says £6.5bn will be raised from an aggressive programme to crack down on tax avoidance.
Political parties always say they will do that, and it can be done - but it's a pretty inexact science.
A further £5.6bn comes from a new tax on financial transactions - known as a "Robin Hood" tax.
Another large chunk of extra revenue, £6.4bn, comes from taxing high earners more.
Reality Check: Who would be affected by Labour's higher taxes?
Those earning £80,000 will be taxed at 45%, while a new 50% rate will be reintroduced for those on salaries above £123,000.
The new income tax rules will apply to about 4% of the workforce, that's about 1.2 million people.
But will all the changes bring in the sort of money Labour expects?
The headline numbers, for one, don't take into account any behavioural change.
For example, high earners could transfer part of their incomes into private pensions, do less work or leave the country.
And remember, the Scottish Parliament has some freedom to set its own tax rates and thresholds.
Even though the manifesto says the changes to income tax should raise £6.4bn, Labour concedes that once behavioural change is taken into account, the actual money coming in will be lower.
The manifesto gives the party £3.9bn of wiggle room for all their tax rises - an allowance for less money coming as a result of changing behaviour.
But according to the independent Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) - which looks at tax and spend policy - Labour might still be overestimating how much it thinks it can raise.
The IFS says Labour's forecasts "looks a little on the optimistic side".
Likewise, companies may change their behaviour when tax rates change, and you also have to take account of the overall health of the economy.
This could affect the expected revenue from corporation tax changes and the introduction of the "Robin Hood" tax.
Overall, though, Labour says it can finance all its current spending plans through changes in the tax system: £48.6bn out, £48.6bn in.
But these numbers do not include the party's big plans for investment spending and renationalising services such as the railways, the Royal Mail and so on.
Labour says it will borrow money to pay for future investment - it pledges to create a National Transformation Fund of £250bn - but there is no detailed costing of nationalisation plans in the manifesto and what it will mean for overall borrowing.
Despite all the extra borrowing, Labour makes one bold promise - it says it is committed to ensuring that the national debt is lower at the end of the next Parliament than it is today.
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The husband and wife who killed 14 people and wounded 21 at California's social services centre had an arsenal of weaponry in their home, police say.

Bomb equipment, weapons and thousands of rounds of ammunition were found by police in a raid after Wednesday's shootout that killed the two suspects.
Authorities still have not found a motive in the attack by Syed Rizwan Farook, 28, and Tashfeen Malik, 27.
The names of the victims have now been released by San Bernardino's coroner.
The youngest victim was 26 and the oldest was 60.
Who are the victims?
"This shooting has caused each victim's family, friends and co-workers, along with the first responders, to suffer an enormous personal tragedy," Sheriff John McMahon said.
"We must stand strong and offer support to each individual affected by this senseless attack."
Police said the attack indicated there had been "some degree of planning".
Local police chief Jarrod Burguan said it appeared that the duo was prepared to carry out another attack.
"There was obviously a mission here. We know that. We do not know why. We don't know if this was the intended target or if there was something that triggered him to do this immediately," said David Bowdich, assistant director of the FBI's Los Angeles office.
In the shootout with police hours after the attack, Farook and Malik fired 76 rounds of ammunition at the officers and the officers fired 380 rounds back.
Two police officers were injured during the pursuit.
It marks the deadliest mass shooting in the US since 26 people were killed at a school in Newtown, Connecticut in 2012.
What makes this shooting different? - Multiple attackers, a woman involved, a well-planned attack, explosives and a fleeing attempt
'It's crazy they lived next door' - Neighbours tell the BBC of their shock that the attackers lived nearby
Politicians 'shamed' for offering prayers - Does prayer do anything in the wake of a shooting?
President Barack Obama said the FBI had taken over the investigation from local authorities.
"It is possible that this was terrorist-related, but we don't know. It's also possible that this was workplace-related," Mr Obama said.
The FBI cautioned that authorities needed time to investigate. But many Republican presidential candidates such as New Jersey Governor Chris Christie were convinced it was terrorism.
Former Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge told the BBC said the information already made public points to terrorism.
"I would characterise this as a terrorist attack," he said.  "Workplace attacks are a lot more spontaneous, they're not planned, they're not premeditated, they normally involve one person, they never involve pipe bombs."
Law enforcement officials are also looking at possible "co-conspirators" and have been in touch with the suspects' relatives.
Farook, who was born in the US, was not "on the radar" of law enforcement, Mr Burguan said.
He worked for the past five years as a restaurant inspector for the San Bernardino County Health Department. The Los Angeles Times reported that co-workers said he was a devout Muslim but rarely discussed his religion.
He and Malik were recently married and had a six-month-old baby, who they dropped off at its grandmother's house before the attack.
On Wednesday, Farook and his colleagues were attending a holiday party at the Inland Regional Center.
Co-worker Patrick Baccari said he was sitting at the same table as Farook before he abruptly left, leaving his coat.
Wearing military-style clothing and armed with assault rifles and semi-automatic handguns, Farook returned with Malik a short time later to open fire.
When the shooting started, Mr Baccari took refuge in a bathroom and was hurt when shrapnel sliced through the wall.
"If I hadn't been in the bathroom, I'd probably be laying dead on the floor," he said.


A 31-year-old man has been found guilty of murdering another man, who was knifed through the heart in Conwy county.

Dean Cody was warned by a judge he will be jailed for life for killing David Kingsbury, 35, in Old Colwyn on 5 January.
A jury took three hours to find him guilty at Caernarfon Crown Court.
Thomas Revatto, 50, of Colwyn Bay, was also convicted of helping an offender.
The court heard he had removed a Vauxhall Corsa that Cody had travelled in.
He was remanded in custody for sentencing on Friday with two other men who helped Cody.
Susannah Buckley, 40, formerly of Colwyn Bay, was cleared of assisting an offender and freed from the dock.
Mr Justice Griffith-Williams told the court: "There is only one sentence for murder and that is life imprisonment."
On Thursday, he will fix the minimum term Cody must serve before he can be considered for parole.
"It will obviously be a long time," he added.
After he died, Mr Kingsbury's family said he was "a very loving, affectionate son, brother and uncle with a good heart".
"We all loved him to bits and will miss his happy, easy going nature, his infectious smile and sense of humour," they added in a statement.


A 38-year-old man has been arrested as part of the investigation into phone hacking, Scotland Yard has said.

The man, named by the Guardian as former News of the World journalist James Desborough, was arrested on Thursday morning and later bailed.
Meanwhile, actress Leslie Ash has settled a claim against the paper.
Glenn Mulcaire, the private investigator at the heart of the hacking scandal, has filed a legal action against News International.
The action being brought by Mulcaire, who has admitted phone hacking on behalf of the Sunday tabloid, is a contractual dispute understood to relate to the decision by News International to stop paying his legal costs.
Leslie Ash and her husband, former footballer Lee Chapman, sued the NoW over allegations it illegally listened to voicemails left by their sons while Ms Ash was recovering from a superbug in hospital in 2004. They also sued Mulcaire.
Their solicitor, Charlotte Harris, told BBC News they were "pleased" to have settled the claim with him and the newspaper's publisher.
The couple now plan to take action against other newspapers, she said.
In a statement, the couple said they were pleased the issue had been resolved and they had received an apology.
The couple revealed in January that police had found documents listing their names, addresses and phone numbers, as well as the mobile details of their children.
News International has declined to comment.
Mr Chapman told BBC Radio 5 live the settlement related to a period between 2004 and 2005.
"During that period - and actually before that period and after - we felt that there were stories going into the press that we had no idea where they were coming from. There were semblances of truth, sensationalised and bits added on, going into the press that we knew could only have come from people close to us."
He said it was "scandalous" that his sons' phone messages had been accessed. "I think that's one of the reasons why News International settled so quickly because of the involvement of two teenage boys who were still at school."
Mr Chapman said he and his wife had settled early because they did not want to have "the whole process dragged through the courts" when their children were involved.
The arrest on Thursday was the 13th by the Met Police as part of their hacking investigation, Operation Weeting.
James Desborough was believed to have been held at a south London police station on suspicion of conspiring to intercept communications and later bailed to October.
He joined the News of the World in 2005 and was named showbiz writer of the year at the British Press Awards in April 2009, and later became the newspaper's Los Angeles-based US editor.
The judges said he "produced a series of uncompromising scoops which mean no celebrity with secrets can sleep easy".
He is among the journalists undergoing a 90-day consultation period following News International's decision to cease publication of the tabloid in the wake of the phone-hacking scandal.
A series of high-profile figures have been questioned by police, including the company's former chief executive Rebekah Brooks and ex-Downing Street communications chief Andy Coulson.
After the latest arrest, News International said in a statement: "We are fully co-operating with the police investigation and we are unable to comment further on matters due to the ongoing police investigation."
Mr Desborough was bailed until October.
On Wednesday, the former Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson was cleared of misconduct in his handling of the phone-hacking inquiry by the police watchdog.
The Independent Police Complaints Commission also cleared John Yates, former Assistant Commissioner Andy Hayman and former Deputy Assistant Commissioner Peter Clarke of misconduct over phone hacking.
However, an independent inquiry will examine claims Mr Yates secured a Met Police job for a News of the World executive's daughter.
The announcement followed the release of a letter by the Commons culture committee that suggested senior executives at the News of the World knew phone hacking was taking place.
Written by former royal editor Clive Goodman as he appealed against his dismissal in 2007, the letter said hacking was "widely discussed" at the paper.
Following publication of the letter Prime Minister David Cameron said he would have "taken different decisions" over the appointment of former News of the World editor Andy Coulson as his director of communications if he had "known then all the things I know now".


Every council area in Derbyshire has voted to leave the EU.

An emotional Margaret Beckett, the Derby South MP, said she would be "surprised" if the United Kingdom was still together in five or 10 years' time.
Toyota, a major employer in the county, said it would "closely monitor" the impact of Brexit on its business.
The closest vote was in High Peak, which voted 50.5% in favour of leave.
Overall in Derbyshire, 59.1% voted leave and 40.9% remain with turnout in most areas above the national average, including Derbyshire Dales, where 81.9% voted.
Andrew Bingham, Conservative MP for High Peak and a Leave campaigner, tweeted: "A truly historic moment, but not a time for gloating or triumphalism, a time for everyone to respect the democratic decision and work together."
But most Derbyshire MPs had campaigned to remain, including Labour's Dame Margaret Beckett.
Holding back tears, she said: "If in five years, 10 years' time we're still a United Kingdom, I shall be very, very relieved but really, very surprised," she said.
"The things of which we have been proudest are now at risk...I'm talking about Rolls-Royce and Toyota."
A Rolls-Royce spokesman said: "We respect the verdict of the electorate, although this is not the outcome we would have chosen.
The firm added it "remains committed to the United Kingdom where we have been headquartered for more than a century, where we have a talented and committed workforce and where we carry out the lion's share of our research and development".
Toyota said: "Going forward we will closely monitor and analyse the impact on our business operations in the UK."
It wasn't a landslide, but across the whole of Derbyshire, a clear majority voted to leave.
The public's interest for the question on the ballot paper was clear - turnout was the highest it's been since 1992.
But did the Remain campaign let this slip? Could they have worked harder and achieved a different result?
Locally, their campaign appeared to be lower-key, less well organised and much less enthusiastic than that of the Leave campaign.


The debts of the first-class counties to the England and Wales Cricket Board have dropped by more than £5m in the past year.

The counties owed £13.214m according to ECB accounts filed in 2014, with that figure falling to £7.875m in 2015.
The ECB made a loan of £1m available to each of the 18 first-class counties at the beginning of 2013.
According to the ECB's annual report of 2013, a total of 17 counties took up the option.
The money was designed to "support improvements in stadia and facilities, customer relations, community programmes and business operations".


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14 April 2015 Last updated at 08:00 BST
It's quite common for children to feel uncomfortable around our canine companions so now the charity the Dog's Trust is running a campaign to try to help children feel more confident around dogs.
There are almost nine million dogs in the UK and the Dogs Trust want to make sure all children know the best ways to stay safe.
Ayshah took a group of kids to meet some dogs and get some top tips.


A former Mr Universe contestant who claimed he had a bad back has been jailed for benefit fraud.

Malcolm Sherratt, 64, claimed more than Â£46,000 in disability benefits over eight years, the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) said.
He had told authorities he needed help dressing and going to the toilet.
Sherratt, from Stoke-on-Trent, was jailed for 12 months after being secretly filmed by the DWP working out at a gym.
He previously admitted two counts of false representation and three counts of making a dishonest representation.
Sherrat, of Arbourfield Drive, began making claims three weeks after taking part in Mr Universe 2007.
He told authorities he needed help cooking and washing and sometimes needed a wheelchair or sticks, the DWP said.
But officials discovered he worked out twice a day and filmed him lifting weights.
Sherratt was sentenced at Stoke-on-Trent Crown Court on Friday.


A fanatic threatened to hang a Jewish Labour MP, prompting a counter-terrorism police investigation.

Stoke-on-Trent North and Kidsgrove MP Ruth Smeeth, who received the death threat on Facebook, is branded a "CIA agent" in the rant reported in The Sun.
She said she would not be bullied.
The threat was issued in July, soon after she fled the launch of Labour's report into anti-Semitism in tears after being accused by an activist of colluding with the right-wing press.
Latest updates and reaction
Ms Smeeth accused Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn of a "catastrophic failure of leadership" for not intervening during the incident and said the Labour Party "cannot be a safe space" for British Jews.
On Friday she told the BBC she had a "human reaction" following the death threat.
She said: "It's a real thing to think that someone would put in a huge amount of time and effort to write a very detailed overview of how they want to kill you.
"There have been moments... when I have been scared, but I'm quite clear I'm not going to be intimidated.
"It's about being much more sensible about how I do things and what I do, but I'm not going to stop doing anything."
Counter-terrorism police are investigating who is behind the abusive message, but no arrests have been made.
Allegations of "malicious communication and threats to kill" made via social media were reported to the Metropolitan Police on 13 July.
A Labour spokeswoman said: "Threatening behaviour will not be tolerated within the party and we urge anyone receiving any abuse to contact the party and where relevant the police."
A spokesperson for Jeremy Corbyn said: "No abuse is carried out in Jeremy's name, and no one responsible for abuse is a genuine supporter of Jeremy's, who has repeatedly called for a kinder, gentler politics."


Prosecutors in the UAE have reportedly dropped terrorism charges against two Libyan-Americans and a Libyan-Canadian who have been detained for 18 months.

Kamal and Mohamed al-Darrat and Salim Alaradi were informed of the decision on Monday, Mr Alaradi's lawyer said.
However, the men will now face lesser charges of providing supplies to groups in a foreign country and collecting donations without official permission.
UN experts said last month that they were being arbitrarily detained.
There was evidence the three men and two other Libyans, Adel Rajab Nasef and Moad al-Hashmi, had been tortured and forced to sign confessions, they added.
All five men were arrested in August 2014, after which they were allegedly held incommunicado in secret detention locations and in solitary confinement for prolonged periods of time.
It was not until late 2015 that Mr Nasef and Mr Hashmi went on trial on the charge of funding, supporting and co-operating with terrorist organisations, while Mr Alaradi and Kamal and Mohamed al-Darrat were charged only in January 2016.
The alleged terrorist organisations were said to be Islamist militias that emerged during the 2011 revolution in Libya, including Libya Dawn and Ansar al-Sharia.
Last week, Mr Nasef and Mr Hashmi were acquitted by the Federal Supreme Court in Abu Dhabi, a verdict that Mr Alaradi's brother said had given him hope.
But following Monday's announcement, Mohamed Alaradi - who was detained alongside his brother for four months - told AP news agency that state prosecutors had "fabricated" the new charges to ensure a guilty verdict.
This showed the UAE's state security department was "playing games", he said.
Kamal al-Darrat's daughter, Amal, called the new charges, which carry a maximum penalty of 15 years imprisonment, "deeply concerning".
Mr Alaradi and Kamal and Mohamed al-Darrat would remain in custody until 11 April, when their trial was scheduled to resume, Mr Alaradi's lawyer said.


Former Slade star Noddy Holder has been given the freedom of Walsall.

Mr Holder, who was born in the Caldmore area, was made an honorary freeman of the borough at the town hall.
Slade had a string of hits in their 1970s and early 80s heyday, including Merry Xmas Everybody and Coz I Luv You. Mr Holder has also acted and provided TV voiceovers.
He told a packed council chamber he was "thrilled" and "proud" to receive the honour.
"I only wish my mum and dad were alive to be there. They both lived in Walsall all of their lives," he added.
During the ceremony, which took place in the council chamber, Mr Holder, 68, was presented with a silver casket containing a scroll which recorded his admission as an honorary freeman of the borough.
Some fans watched from the chamber's public gallery while others viewed the proceedings on a screen in the town hall.
Accepting the award, Mr Holder said he hoped it would raise the profile of the arts in the West Midlands, which he had aimed to promote throughout his 50-year career.
"I think I've flown the flag for the West Midlands and the Black Country during the last 50 years," he said.
"The Midlands has some of the best artists, produced great bands, great comedians, great dancers, but people outside the Midlands don't recognise them for it," he said.
Plenty of rock and pop legends have been granted freedom of their home towns
Mayor Pete Smith presented Mr Holder with the honour and said it was given in "grateful recognition of service to the entertainment and music industry for the last 50 years".
"He was, and still is, a down-to-Earth guy, proud of his Walsall and Black Country roots and connections", he said.
Council leader Mike Bird said he was "absolutely delighted and very proud that Noddy Holder has accepted this honour."
He added it was a "special occasion" for the town.
Afterwards, Mr Holder conducted a short question and answer session with fans.
Mr Holder, who made his singing debut aged seven on stage at Walsall Labour Working Men's Club, has said he still thinks of Walsall as "home" and regularly returns for "a decent curry".
He has lived near Wilmslow, Cheshire, for more than 25 years.


A film documenting a three-year trip around the world by a group of friends in a double-decker bus is being screened in their Hampshire village later.

The nine, from Liphook, were in their late teens and 20s when they set off in a converted municipal bus in 1969.
They funded the trip by singing folk songs as they travelled across Europe, central Asia, Australia and the USA.
Trip leader Richard King said the experience had been "life-changing".
He recalled how the trip came about as the result of a bet with their local publican in Liphook.
The bus, a Leyland PD2, was bought for Â£100 from Warington Corporation. They named it "The Hairy Pillock Two".
It already had 700,000 miles on the clock when it was kitted out with bunks, cooking and eating facilities and a navigator's desk on the top deck.
The journey took them from Liphook, across Europe to Istanbul before travelling through Iran, Afghanistan and India, as well as Australia and the USA.
The group made money en route by playing folk songs - even performing for the Shah and Empress after an appearance on Iranian television.
Mr King, now 72 and living in Ashford, Kent, is being joined by two of the other three surviving travellers for a screening of a film, "Pillock Conquers the World", made during the journey.
Money raised is going towards the village's carnival fund.
"It was life-changing for all of us. We got back and had a better idea of what we would do with our lives," Mr King said.
"I'm really pleased we did it and it gave us a different direction in life.
"We were unique - there weren't many people going around in double-decker buses singing folk songs. It was the university of real life."


A fifth £5 note engraved with a tiny portrait of author Jane Austen will not be going into circulation, the artist behind the project has said.

The news comes after micro-engraver Graham Short was spotted in Bath last month, prompting speculation he had spent it in the city.
Mr Short told BBC Radio Bristol he would presenting it to Bath's Jane Austen Centre as a framed gift.
He said it would mark the 200th anniversary of the author's death.
Mr Short, who lives in Birmingham, said he originally visited the centre to learn more about Jane Austen as felt he "really ought to know more about her life than I do".
He added he would be returning to Bath on 18 July to hand over the engraved note.
He said: "It will be framed with glass on the back and the front so you can see through it."
David Lassman, from the centre, said it is currently in discussion over how best to display it.
He added: "We're overwhelmed with the gift, which we hope will raise the centre's profile.
"It's particularly poignant it will be presented on her anniversary."
Mr Short initially engraved 5mm portraits of Jane Austen on four £5 notes, making each worth thousands of pounds.
One of the four notes was spent in a cafe in Blackwood, south Wales, the others somewhere in England, Scotland and Northern Ireland.
So far, three have been accounted for.
Jane Austen was an English novelist born in 1775 whose books were set among the English middle and upper classes.


Former News of the World royal editor Clive Goodman hacked Kate Middleton's phone 155 times, a court has heard.

The phone-hacking trial was told Mr Goodman first hacked the now-Duchess of Cambridge's voicemail in December 2005.
He also hacked Prince William 35 times and Prince Harry on nine occasions.
This is the first time the jury has heard of William's phone being hacked. Mr Goodman, who denies conspiring to commit misconduct in public office, previously said he only hacked aides.
Mr Goodman is one of seven defendants, including ex-News of the World editors Andy Coulson and Rebekah Brooks, on trial at the Old Bailey. They all deny the charges against them.
He returned to the trial to resume giving evidence after a long period away due to illness.
The court heard how Mr Goodman hacked Ms Middleton on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day in 2005 - more than five years before she married Prince William.
He also hacked her on 7 August 2006, the day before he was arrested over allegations of phone hacking.
Prince William's voicemail was first intercepted in late January 2006, the court heard.
Mr Goodman, 56, denied he had "forgotten" about targeting the young royals when he said in evidence earlier in the trial that he had only hacked aides working for the royals.
The jury was also told that Mr Goodman hacked Michael Fawcett, a trusted aide of Prince Charles, 35 times.
Upon his return to the witness box, he was accused of being more heavily involved in phone hacking than was previously heard.
Mr Goodman and private detective Glenn Mulcaire were convicted in 2006 of intercepting voicemails of royal aides. But jurors were told their activities went much further.
Under cross-examination by Mr Coulson's lawyer Timothy Langdale QC asked him why Ms Middleton had been targeted.
"She was a figure of increasing importance around the Royal Family," Mr Goodman said.
"There were discussions about her and Prince William marrying, moving in, settling down. She started to receive semi-royal status and things were moving on."
The witness said he had been assured by the Crown Prosecution Service he would face no more hacking charges.
He told the court he was "not on trial for hacking" when he was presented with a list of victims, saying: "There has been no intention to deceive you or anybody else in relation to phone hacking."
He said he had been as "open and honest" about hacking as possible and that no-one had asked him questions about hacking royals.
Mr Langdale said: "You knew perfectly well you hacked Prince Harry and Prince William didn't you?"
The defendant replied: "Nobody asked me."
The former royal editor had not been in court since the end of March after he was declared unfit to carry on. The trial continued in his absence.
The judge told the jury that Mr Goodman had been "ill", but the court was given a report from an independent medical expert declaring him "now fit" to continue.
Mr Justice Saunders also told the jury that he had "no alternative" but to keep them waiting because medical assessments were continually being submitted.
Mr Goodman will be allowed more time than usual to give the remainder of his evidence because medical experts have advised he may get tired more quickly.
The jury previously heard that the former royal editor of the now-defunct tabloid had undergone a minor heart procedure during the trial.
Appearing on Wednesday in the witness box, with a small bandage over his left hand, he was asked what he knew about phone hacking before January 2005, when he said he had been told about it by a colleague.
Before then, the News of the World colleague had passed pieces of information to Mr Goodman for stories. But the defendant said he never knew where it came from.
Mr Langdale asked Mr Goodman what he had known about Mulcaire. He replied that the private detective was known at the newspaper as someone who "provided results to a story that could not be cracked". But he denied he had put two and two together.
Mr Langdale said: "I'm going to suggest to you, you knew a great deal about phone hacking much earlier than you have told us."
The defendant said he could not recall at this distance.
Mr Langdale added: "I'm going to suggest you had direct contact with Glenn Mulcaire significantly before the time you have told us - that you yourself had been hacking on a much wider scale than you have told this court about."
Later, Mr Goodman told the court just how "valuable" Mulcaire had been to the paper.
"Like him or hate him - and people can make their own judgements about what we did - he was a valuable resource for the paper," he said.
"Virtually every story on the paper ground through the Glenn Mulcaire mill."


He's Manchester United's record goalscorer and has spent 13 years at Old Trafford but it looks like this could be Wayne Rooney's last season at the club.

Could a move to the Far East be on the cards for the England captain?
Have a go at our quiz and see how other club legends left when their time was up.
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Is it really possible that part of a Western European country could break away, without a legally recognised referendum or the consent of that country's government?

Regarding Catalonia, most commentators and politicians in Madrid never thought the answer to that question could be yes.
And by refusing to even entertain the idea of a referendum, the Spanish government believed the pro-independence camp in Catalonia would have nowhere to turn.
However, Catalan nationalists have forced the issue.
A year ago they held their own unofficial (in the eyes of Madrid) referendum. They scored 80% in favour of independence, but turnout was low as many boycotted the vote.
Then in September they held a regional election and painted it as a Yes/No vote on independence.
The nationalists failed to get 50% of the vote. And only with the support of a far-left pro-independence party did the main coalition, Together for Yes, get past the 50% threshold of seats in the Catalan parliament.
But that didn't stop them. A majority of seats for pro-independence parties was enough for them to claim a "mandate" and push on with their project to create a new state.
Catalans push for independence from Spain
Does independence loom?
Catalonia profile - Overview
For years Catalan nationalists have been warning me that without a referendum they would still proceed.
In September 2012 I was on the streets of Barcelona amid a sea of red- and yellow-striped Catalan flags (many with the blue triangle and silver secessionist star), chants of "independence" and more than a million people.
I was struck by their impassioned rejection of the Spanish state.
In their eyes, the failings of Spanish politics were catastrophic. For them, the economic crisis enveloping their beloved Catalonia was proof enough.
Surely that demonstration was a wake-up call for the Spanish government?
However, it was another three years until I and other foreign Madrid-based journalists were invited to La Moncloa - Spain's version of Number 10 Downing Street or the White House - to be briefed on Catalonia by Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy's Chief of Staff, Jorge Moraga.
In at times strong language, he wanted to put across how Madrid saw latest events.
Catalonia did not get a raw economic deal, he argued. Via Catalan public media the nationalists had manipulated public opinion, creating a false sense of grievance amongst Catalans and the impression that the Spanish state was "anti-Catalan".
Mr Moraga, a Catalan himself, said the opposite was true and argued that the voice of those Catalans (like him) whose DNA was both Spanish and Catalan was being drowned out.
Around the same time, the Spanish foreign minister went head-to-head on Catalan TV in a debate against a leading pro-independence politician.
For many, the Spanish government woke up late from what appeared, at worst, to be a sense of denial over the Catalan question, and at best a policy of non-engagement.
Now Madrid is warning that senior Catalan politicians could have their powers taken away if they continue to "disobey" the will of the Spanish state.
In one Spanish newspaper this week there was talk of Madrid taking control of Catalonia's autonomous police force, or cutting funding to the Catalan government.
After years of inaction, when the arguments and desires of the Catalan independence movement appeared for many in Madrid to be theoretical hyperbole, things now feel real.
The threat of Catalan politicians creating their own state, regardless of what Madrid says, is real.
The idea of Madrid using the force of law to physically stop this happening could soon become real.
Everything could change if there is a change of government in Madrid in a Spanish general election on 20 December.
Of course the pro-independence camp have problems of their own. They are an unlikely political amalgamation of right- and left-wing parties. The centre-right President Artur Mas is desperately trying to hang on to power.
But those on the far left are unlikely to accept him as their independence king.
The impasse between Madrid and the nationalists in Barcelona has produced a sense of political crisis. And no one knows where this will end.


Chinese women have made their strongest showing on Forbes magazine's list of the world's most powerful women.

The survey also included a record number of women from the UK, though German Chancellor Angela Merkel remains in the top spot.
Hillary Clinton, the US presidential candidate, and Janet Yellen, chair of the Federal Reserve, were second and third.
The US dominated the list with 51 women represented, while China was second.
There are a record nine women from the world's most populous nation on the 2016 Power Women list. Lucy Peng, a senior executive at e-commerce giant Alibaba, and Margaret Chan, director-general of the World Health Organization, are the highest-ranked. Also on the list are Pollyanna Chu, chief executive of Hong Kong financial services firm Kingston Securities, and China's first lady, Peng Liyuan.
The survey features 100 women from 29 countries who represent sectors such as politics, business, technology and philanthropy.
Forbes said the women on the list control $1tn (Â£694bn) in revenue and influence more than 3.6bn people around the world.
There are 32 chief executives on the list, 12 world leaders and 11 billionaires, including nine who have built billion-dollar companies from scratch. The average age is 57, with Yahoo chief executive Marissa Mayer the youngest at 41 and Britain's Queen Elizabeth II the oldest at 90.
The number of UK women who made the rankings doubled to six. Besides Queen Elizabeth, they include Nemat Shafik, deputy governor of the Bank of England, and Katharine Viner, editor of the Guardian. The newcomers are Nicola Sturgeon, Scotland's First Minister, Zanny Minton Beddoes, editor of the Economist, and Eliza Manningham-Buller, chair of the Wellcome Trust.
This is the sixth consecutive year Mrs Merkel has topped the list and the tenth time in total.
Moira Forbes, president and publisher of Forbes Woman, said it was "extraordinary" that Mrs Merkel had been able to maintain power for so long.
"She's not only the head of the fourth largest economy in the world but she's defied existential political and economic challenges to the EU, for example trying to ensure that countries like Greece and Spain adhere to the fiscal logic she espouses," she told BBC News. "She's also dealing with EU crises such as immigration...She's someone whose power extends far beyond traditional borders."
Ms Forbes noted that nearly half of the women on this year's list were from outside the US, while a quarter were from the Asia-Pacific region, the highest number since the survey's inception. "These are positive trends as women are ascending more into positions of traditional business corporate power but also political power," she said.
Among the most high-profile drop-offs is Dilma Rousseff, the former president of Brazil, who was impeached in May over allegations of violating fiscal rules, which she denies.
Elizabeth Holmes, founder of the blood-testing firm Theranos, also failed to make the list. US federal agencies are investigating Theranos over allegations its tests are inaccurate.  Last week, Forbes lowered its estimate of Holmes' personal fortune from $4.5bn to nothing, after previously declaring her America's richest self-made woman.


The Vatican has declined to comment on reports that it has not accepted a new French ambassador because he is gay.

The French government proposed the senior diplomat Laurent Stefanini for the post in January.
It normally takes about a month for an appointment to be approved, but three months on the Vatican has kept a diplomatic silence.
Media reports in France say the French government is refusing to back down over the appointment.
In 2007, France proposed an openly gay diplomat to be its ambassador at the Vatican but was forced to choose another after months of silence.
The French Catholic newspaper La Croix reports that the Vatican has indicated the posting is unacceptable.
Mr Stefanini is openly gay and was posted to France's Rome embassy between 2001 and 2005.
"He is one of our best diplomats. That's why we appointed him. We are waiting for a reply to our request," the foreign ministry in Paris told the AFP news agency.
The BBC's Rome correspondent James Reynolds says that the apparent rejection may not be the Vatican responding to Mr Stefanini's sexuality. One interpretation could be that the Holy See is displeased with France's decision to legalise same-sex marriage in 2013.
It is widely thought that Pope Francis is more tolerant of homosexuality than previous popes after remarking "who am I to judge?" in 2013.
His predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI, signed a document in 2005 that said men with deep-rooted homosexual tendencies should not be priests.
But Pope Francis has said gay clergymen should be forgiven and their sins forgotten.
However, he suffered a setback in 2014 after the Catholic Church synod abandoned plans for wider acceptance of gay people.


(Close): An early morning FTSE 100 rally was revived in afternoon trading, as the market closed ahead.

At close, the FTSE 100 index was up 25.63 points, or 0.42%, at 6201.12, after a strong performance from mining shares.
Mining companies were boosted by rising commodity prices, which were helped by the weakening of the US dollar.
The dollar weakened following the latest comments from the US Federal Reserve.
The US central bank kept interest rates unchanged, but also indicated that it expected fewer rate rises this year than previously forecast.
Among the commodities, copper prices hit a four-month high while Brent crude oil rose above $41 a barrel at one point.
In the mining sector, shares in Anglo American and Glencore both jumped by more than 9%, as did Fresnillo.
Shares in pharmaceuticals giant GlaxoSmithKline were down by 1%. The company announced on Thursday that its chief executive, Sir Andrew Witty, would be stepping down in March next year.
On the currency markets, the pound rose more than two cents against the dollar to $1.4487, and was up 0.67% against the euro at â‚¬1.2796.


Birmingham's New Street station has officially reopened after a £600m redevelopment.

The revamp includes a new concourse for passengers and a glass atrium allowing natural light into the interior for the first time since the city centre station was redeveloped in the 1960s.
New escalators and lifts have also been installed on platforms.
The station's facelift is part of the larger Grand Central shopping centre development.
Mark Carne, chief executive of Network Rail, said: "We took a really rather awful 1960s station, cut a big hole where the car park used to be, and put in an atrium the size of a football pitch to flood the concourse with natural light."
Source: Network Rail


Life as an MP in Ghana is traditionally a short-lived stint, partly because of a tradition of mocking longstanding MPs as "Mugabe", writes journalist Elizabeth Ohene, herself a former MP, in our series of letters from African journalists.

If it's longevity in a job you are looking for, you really should not be heading to the Ghana parliament.
Judging from the experience of its 24 years of existence, it seems to be a place more for short-term apprenticeships.
The 7th parliament of Ghana's Fourth Republic was inaugurated earlier this month and many Ghanaians stayed up until midnight to watch on television as all 275 members swore the oath of allegiance at a colourful ceremony.
The Honourable Elizabeth Ohene:
"It costs a lot of money to get elected into parliament and some people don't finish paying off their debts before they lose their seats. But at least they are assured of being called Honourable for... life"
Our parliament is getting a reputation for being an unsentimental place where members, no matter how revered they might be, are regularly chucked out unceremoniously. The membership of the house seems to get renewed comprehensively at elections every four years.
When this Fourth Republic started life 24 years ago on 7 January, 1993, the current governing party, the NPP, were not in parliament, having boycotted the parliamentary elections.
The NPP first entered parliament in 1997 with 61 elected members.
Today, there are 169 NPP MPs but only one, Osei-Kyei Mensah Bonsu, dates back to the 1997 intake.
He is the current majority leader, and speaking at the midnight sitting, he put it this way with a wistful smile:
"I am the lone ranger in my party's caucus from the 1997-2001 stock. Just two remain in the 2001-2005 stock. For the 2005-2009 group, we have 20 remaining."
The situation is no less dramatic on the NDC side of the House. Of the 189 members of the NDC that entered the house in January 1993, only one survives today as a Member of Parliament, Alban Bagbin.
He has been elected second deputy speaker and he pointed out equally wistfully that on his side of the house, 80 of his colleagues lost their seats during the recent elections and out of that number, 42 were one-term members.
This new parliament has 182 new entrants in the 275-member chamber.  Of the 93 continuing members, not many can be described as "old hands".
The newly commissioned Parliament Training Institute is going to be very busy as the new members are taken through the arcane ways of the house.
There are voices being raised today about the brutal attrition rate of the membership of the house and the need for us to build institutional memory in our parliament.
Something tells me such voices will disappear once the political party primary season starts and the jostling begins to find candidates for the parliamentary elections.
In our country, anybody who has been in parliament for three terms is mocked mercilessly as a "Mugabe", who should be forced to stand down.
Nobody says so openly but part of the attraction of wanting to go to parliament is obviously the financial remuneration.
Our MPs tend to look well-off and are assured of a handsome package at the end of the four-year term.
That is what the public sees, and of course the parliamentarians are called "Honourable", and this counts for very much hereabouts. And yet the life of an MP in Ghana can be a trial and a temptation.
Being an MP means you wake up each morning to a long queue of people in your house.
Some of them want money to pay school fees or hospital bills, some want jobs for themselves or for their children or both, some just want to tell their MP they are angry the MP's vehicle drove past them and did not offer them a ride and they wouldn't be voting for him or her at the next elections.
You ignore your demanding constituents at your electoral peril.
In the meantime there is a lot of excitement about the new intake. They are younger, the youngest being the 23-year old female university student who sits on the majority benches.
There are 35 women in the house, nowhere near the number that we all think we should have, but they are a power-packed group.
On the majority side, a 35-year old female is the deputy majority leader.
The majority of people who make it into our parliament still come from the teaching profession but the lawyers and bankers, doctors now constitute a sizeable number.
It costs a lot of money to get elected into parliament and some people do not finish paying off their debts before they lose their seats.
But at least they are assured of being called "Honourable" for the rest of their lives and many consider that a worthwhile investment.


A parade and service has been held to honour a soldier who won the Victoria Cross in the legendary defence of Rorke's Drift in the Anglo-Zulu wars.

John Williams VC, from Cwmbran, was one of 11 decorated for bravery after the battle on 23 January 1879.
Roads were closed for a short time for Saturday's annual parade in Llantarnam where a new gravestone to the soldier was erected in 2013.
About 150 British soldiers defended the mission station against 4,000 Zulus.
The events were immortalised in the 1964 film Zulu starring Michael Caine.
The Anglo-Zulu war saw Britain fight against the Zulu kingdom in South Africa and brought an end to Zulu independence.


New films from Ken Loach, Sean Penn and Pedro Almodovar are among the 20 titles in contention for the Cannes Film Festival's top honour next month.

Loach's I, Daniel Blake, Penn's The Last Face and Almodovar's Julieta will all compete for the Palme d'Or award.
Britain's Andrea Arnold is one of three women directors included in the French festival's main competition line-up.
It also includes a number of previous Palme d'Or winners, among them Belgian siblings Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne.
The brothers, who won the award in 1999 and again in 2005, are shortlisted once more for The Unknown Girl.
US directors Jeff Nichols and Jim Jarmusch are among other directors whose new films have been selected by organisers.
Nichols' Loving tells of a mixed race couple facing racism in 1950s Virginia, while Jarmusch's Paterson sees Star Wars actor Adam Driver playing a bus-driving poet.
This year's event, which runs from 11 to 22 May, will open with a screening of Woody Allen's new comedy Cafe Society.
Steven Spielberg's The BFG, Jodie Foster's Money Monster and The Nice Guys, starring Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling, will also screen out of competition.
Iggy Pop documentary Gimme Danger, also directed by Jarmusch, has been given a midnight screenings slot.
Other films up for the Palme d'Or include Paul Verhoeven's Elle, Nicolas Winding Refn's The Neon Demon and Agassi, the latest from South Korea's Park Chan-Wook.
The recipient of the "Golden Palm" will be decided by a jury chaired by George Miller, the Australian creator of the Mad Max series.
Almodovar's inclusion comes in the wake of the Spanish director being recently cited in the leaked Panama tax papers.
Last month the film-maker cancelled interviews for Julieta - about a mother's 10-year search for her daughter - after he and his brother Agustin were listed in the files.
I, Daniel Blake - about a joiner who needs support from the state after falling ill - sees Loach, a festival regular, back in the main competition again.
The 79-year-old won the Palme d'Or in 2006 with The Wind That Shakes the Barley and was last at the festival in 2014 with Jimmy's Hall, believed at the time to be his last dramatic feature.
Arnold's American Honey tells of a teenage girl who runs away with a travelling sales crew and becomes involved in the group's hard-partying lifestyle.
Stars expected to grace the red carpet include Money Monster actors George Clooney and Julia Roberts and Penn's former girlfriend Charlize Theron, whom he directed in The Last Face.
Jodie Foster's film sees Clooney play a financial TV host involved in a hostage situation, while Penn's latest - his fifth feature as a director - is a romance set among aid workers in Africa.
The 17 films in the Un Certain Regard sidebar were also announced on Thursday by festival chiefs Pierre Lescure and Thierry Fremaux.
Some commentators have remarked on the apparent omission of On the Milky Road, the latest film from Serbia's two-time Palme d'Or recipient Emir Kusturica.


The death of a teenage girl who took a fatal overdose has prompted a coroner to write to Denbighshire council about concerns over its social services.

Laura Newlands, from Rhyl, died at home on 8 August 2011.
The Ruthin inquest heard social services had closed her case when she was released into the care of relatives in Doncaster, and had delayed setting up a meeting when she returned to Rhyl.
Coroner John Gittins recorded a conclusion of suicide.
The inquest was told Laura had been a carer for her parents and "the older she got the greater the sense of responsibility she felt".
Referring to problems of bullying at school, Mr Gittins said she was "well supported" at Rhyl High School, adding that staff gave her "an exceptional level of support".
The inquest was told she had "suicidal feelings" and after spending five days in hospital in May 2011 went to live with relatives in Doncaster.
But they, nor her family, had been told she had threatened to kill herself if she was sent back to her family home.
In June, she returned to Rhyl by choice to celebrate her brother's birthday and stayed there until taking an overdose with her father's medication.
Referring to social services closing her case, Mr Gittins said he believed it should be assessed by a qualified senior member of staff, not involved in the case, before it was closed.
He also said there should be a strict timetable in place for meetings "to help people in crisis", after the inquest heard social services had been in contact with Laura after she returned to Rhyl.
The coroner offered his condolences to the family on the loss of a "bright, articulate young girl".
The family's lawyers said in a statement: "The family would like to thank the coroner for conducting a thorough investigation into the circumstances leading up to her death and they feel that we finally have some answers as to what happened.
"They hope that any improvements that can be made are identified to prevent others from suffering as Laura did."


A 15-year-old girl is in a serious condition in hospital after being knocked down in Inverness.

Police said the teenager was involved in a collision with a blue Volvo on Sir Walter Scott Drive, near the Inshes roundabout,  at about 23:00 on Friday.
She was taken to Raigmore Hospital where her injuries have been described as serious. No one else was injured in the collision.
Officers are keen to speak to anyone who may have witnessed the incident.


Bayern Munich put in a devastating first-half performance to overcome a first-leg deficit and beat Porto to reach the Champions League semi-finals.

Needing a 2-0 win, Bayern were level on aggregate within 22 minutes thanks to Thiago and Jerome Boateng headers.
Robert Lewandowksi put them further ahead and Thomas Muller drove home for 4-0 before Lewandowski added a second.
Jackson Martinez gave Porto some hope, but Ivan Marcano was sent off, with Xabi Alonso scoring from the free-kick.
The result was a boost to the reputation of Bayern boss Pep Guardiola, who was in danger of suffering a Champions League humbling for a second consecutive season.
Since the Spaniard took over the reigning European champions from Jupp Heynckes in 2013, they have dominated in the Bundesliga, losing only four of 63 games.
But they were were beaten 5-0 on aggregate by Real Madrid in last year's semi-finals and looked like they might struggle even to reach that stage this time following a 3-1 first-leg defeat in Portugal.
Guardiola had reached the Champions League last four in all five seasons as a coach of Barcelona and the German club.
And Bayern - chasing a second treble in three years - were confident of making it six. Captain Philipp Lahm was "utterly convinced" the Bavarians would qualify, although Muller warned "everyone just piling forward would be suicide".
But, in effect, that is exactly what they did.
Bayern attacked from the first whistle and Lewandowski had hit a post before Thiago headed home Juan Bernat's cross to open the scoring within 14 minutes.
Boateng levelled the tie when his seemingly weak header from Holger Badstuber's flick-on beat Fabiano.
Five minutes later, Bayern strung together 26 consecutive passes as Lahm's cross was helped on by Muller and Lewandowski stooped to head home.
Porto boss Julen Lopetegui had identified that most of Bayern's threat was coming down the left - despite the absence of wingers Arjen Robben and Franck Ribery - and brought off right-back Diego Reyes after 33 minutes.
But the change did nothing to alter the flow of the game. Muller put Bayern in control when his shot from long distance was deflected through keeper Fabiano's legs by Bruno Martins Indi.
Lewandowski made the second half look like an irrelevance when he was picked out by Muller before firing home, thanks to more woeful Porto defending.
Bayern have twice scored seven goals in Champions League matches this season, and Guardiola frequently looked angry in the second half as they failed to continue their first-half domination.
He would have been even angrier after Martinez headed home Hector Herrera's cross for his seventh goal in eight Champions League games this season.
Moments later the Colombia striker had a chance to reduce the deficit to one goal but shot just wide.
But Porto's hopes of pulling off a remarkable comeback ended when Marcano was sent off for a challenge on Thiago and Alonso curled home the resulting set-piece.
Bayern will find out their semi-final opponents on Friday.
Listen to BBC Radio 5 live's highlights of the game.
Match ends, FC Bayern München 6, FC Porto 1.
Second Half ends, FC Bayern München 6, FC Porto 1.
Attempt blocked. Sebastian Rode (FC Bayern München) right footed shot from the centre of the box is blocked.
Attempt saved. Robert Lewandowski (FC Bayern München) right footed shot from the centre of the box is saved in the centre of the goal. Assisted by Mitchell Weiser.
Substitution, FC Bayern München. Dante replaces Thiago Alcántara.
Goal!  FC Bayern München 6, FC Porto 1. Xabi Alonso (FC Bayern München) from a free kick with a right footed shot to the bottom left corner.
Second yellow card to Marcano (FC Porto) for a bad foul.
Thiago Alcántara (FC Bayern München) wins a free kick in the attacking half.
Foul by Marcano (FC Porto).
Substitution, FC Bayern München. Mitchell Weiser replaces Mario Götze.
Mario Götze (FC Bayern München) wins a free kick on the right wing.
Foul by Marcano (FC Porto).
Offside, FC Porto. Martins Indi tries a through ball, but Jackson Martínez is caught offside.
Philipp Lahm (FC Bayern München) wins a free kick in the defensive half.
Foul by Jackson Martínez (FC Porto).
Foul by Robert Lewandowski (FC Bayern München).
Jackson Martínez (FC Porto) wins a free kick in the defensive half.
Attempt missed. Robert Lewandowski (FC Bayern München) right footed shot from the centre of the box is close, but misses to the left. Assisted by Mario Götze.
Mario Götze (FC Bayern München) wins a free kick in the defensive half.
Foul by Héctor Herrera (FC Porto).
Foul by Xabi Alonso (FC Bayern München).
Jackson Martínez (FC Porto) wins a free kick in the attacking half.
Attempt missed. Jackson Martínez (FC Porto) right footed shot from the right side of the box is close, but misses to the left. Assisted by Casemiro.
Foul by Mario Götze (FC Bayern München).
Héctor Herrera (FC Porto) wins a free kick on the right wing.
Foul by Holger Badstuber (FC Bayern München).
Héctor Herrera (FC Porto) wins a free kick in the attacking half.
Foul by Mario Götze (FC Bayern München).
Óliver (FC Porto) wins a free kick in the defensive half.
Goal!  FC Bayern München 5, FC Porto 1. Jackson Martínez (FC Porto) header from very close range to the bottom left corner. Assisted by Héctor Herrera with a cross.
Foul by Mario Götze (FC Bayern München).
Evandro Goebel (FC Porto) wins a free kick in the defensive half.
Delay over. They are ready to continue.
Substitution, FC Bayern München. Sebastian Rode replaces Rafinha because of an injury.
Delay in match Rafinha (FC Bayern München) because of an injury.
Marcano (FC Porto) is shown the yellow card for a bad foul.
Thomas Müller (FC Bayern München) wins a free kick in the defensive half.
Foul by Marcano (FC Porto).
Thiago Alcántara (FC Bayern München) wins a free kick in the defensive half.
Foul by Ruben Neves (FC Porto).


The Co-operative Bank says it is no longer up for sale, pending an announcement on fund-raising proposals aimed at safeguarding its future.

Co-op Bank was forced to put itself on the market in February after it was unable to reach a strong enough footing to satisfy Bank of England regulations.
But in June, it said it was in "advanced discussions" with a group of existing investors on recapitalisation.
Now the bank says the plan has been "substantially agreed".
The Co-op Bank, in which the Co-operative Group still has a 20% stake, was rescued from the brink of collapse by a group of hedge funds in 2013.
In a statement, the bank also said talks were continuing over the separation of its pension fund from the Co-operative Group's scheme.
Under the current arrangement, the bank must carry a share of the Co-op Group's £8bn pension liabilities, something which is proving unattractive to potential investors.
Earlier this year, it reported its fifth annual loss in a row, although the £477m deficit for 2016 was an improvement on the £610m loss recorded in 2015.
When it offered itself for sale, the Co-op Bank blamed low interest rates and the higher-than-expected cost of its turnaround plan for its failure to meet the Bank's Prudential Regulation Authority rules.
The Co-op Bank has four million customers and is well known for its ethical standpoint, which its board had said made it "a strong franchise with significant potential" to prospective buyers.


Bill Haas hit a four-under 67 to take a one-shot lead into Sunday's final round of the Valspar Championship in Florida.

The American holed five birdies to move to eight under, while Canada's Graham DeLaet had an eagle and three birdies in a 68 to reach seven under.
Ryan Moore (69) and fellow American Charley Hoffman (67) are at five under.
World number one Jordan Spieth improved to two under after a four-under 67, while England's Danny Willett (71) is the best of the Britons on level par.
"On this golf course, the leaders start getting four-to-five footers on greens that are a little inconsistent, who knows what's going to happen," said defending champion Spieth.
"I really like the position we're in. Obviously the lead would be better but we've got momentum on our side."
Haas, the son of nine-time PGA Tour winner Jay Haas, has twice finished in the top 10 this year but is in contention for his first win of 2016.
He paid tribute to the influence of his father, who joined him at Innisbrook earlier in the week.
"He came up with the swing thought I've had for three days, and I'm leading," said Haas. "Without him coming down, I might not even have made the weekend. It was very valuable.
"If it goes south, I can blame him."