[Question]
  [
> 
> **Congratulations to [Dennis](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/a/55408/8478) who won both the cops' and the robbers' challenge!** Calvin's Hobbies has already delivered on his promise [and wrote this challenge](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/q/57719/8478) for Dennis for winning the robbers' challenge.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> **Notice:** This challenge is closed for further cop answers as of 2015-09-01 02:00:00 UTC. Any new answers posted will not be eligible for winning and will not count towards the robbers' scores if cracked. However, you may still post new answers for the other users' enjoyment, so that there are still some puzzles available for future visitors. These new answers are included in the "Vulnerable Cops" section of the leaderboard and their non-competing status is marked separately.
> 
> 
> 
Welcome to the Cops-and-Robbers edition of [The Hello World Quiz](http://helloworldquiz.com/)! (If you've never played the quiz, feel free to try it out for a minute or 30. You don't need to have played it for this challenge though.)
## The Cops' Challenge
1. **Choose a programming language.** Valid languages must have either [an English Wikipedia article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_programming_languages), [an esolangs article](http://esolangs.org/wiki/Language_list) or [a Rosetta Code article](http://rosettacode.org/wiki/Category:Programming_Languages) at the time this challenge was posted (note that the linked lists are not necessarily complete because they are curated manually). They must also satisfy [our usual standards for programming languages](http://meta.codegolf.stackexchange.com/a/2073/8478), so things like HQ9+ are out. Lastly, there must be a free (as in beer) interpreter or compiler available for the language (at the time this challenge was posted).
2. **Write a Hello World program.** That is, write a full program in the chosen language which prints `Hello, World!` (exactly like that, i.e. this exact byte stream) and optionally a single trailing newline to STDOUT or closest alternative. 
You must not assume a REPL environment, existing boilerplate code, or non-standard compiler/interpreter flags. The program must be in the form of one or more source files (to rule out quirky languages like [Folders](http://esolangs.org/wiki/Folders)) and must fit into your answer in full (so it must not be longer than 30,000 characters) - this shouldn't be an issue for any serious submission. 
If your code contains bytes outside the printable ASCII range, please include a pastebin or hex dump to make sure your code is actually testable.
The program must terminate within 1 minute on a typical desktop PC.
That's it. The catch is that you want to obfuscate your code such that it's not obvious which language you picked. Also note that you don't want your code to accidentally be a valid Hello World program in any other language, although I expect that to be unlikely for sufficiently obfuscated programs.
You must not under any circumstances edit the source code of your submission once posted (as this may invalidate a robbers' active attempts at cracking your answer). So make sure that you golf it as well as you can (or dare) before posting. If you realise that your answer does not work after posting it, simply delete your answer and post a fixed version if you want to.
If no one finds a language your code is valid in for 7 days, you may reveal the chosen language (ideally with an explanation for your obfuscated code), which will make your answer *safe*. Note that your submission can still be cracked until you reveal the language.
The shortest safe submission (in bytes) wins.
### Formatting
*(Feel free to skip this section and read The Robbers' Challenge if you're not planning to participate as a cop right now.)*
At the bottom of this post, you'll find a Stack Snippet which generates leaderboards as well as a list of submissions which can still be cracked. For the snippet to work, it is important that you include a certain header in your answer:
* New answers should include a header like
```
# ???, [N] bytes
```
where `[N]` is the size of your code in bytes and `???` should appear literally.
* If the answer is not cracked for 7 days and you want to make your answer safe by revealing the language, simply replace the `???`, e.g.
```
# Ruby, [N] bytes
```
Feel free to have the language name link to a relevant website like an esolangs page or a GitHub repository. The link will then be displayed in the leaderboard.
* If another user successfully cracked your submission (see below), please also add the language, along with a notice like
```
# Ruby, [N] bytes, cracked by [user]
```
where `[user]` is the name of the user who submitted the first valid crack. If the language used in the crack is different from the one you intended, I'd recommend using the robbers' guess and mentioning in the answer that you intended it to be something else. Feel free to make the user name a link to their profile page.
## The Robbers' Challenge
1. **Find a vulnerable answer.** That is an answer, which hasn't been cracked yet and which isn't *safe* yet.
2. **Crack it by figuring out its language.** That is, find *any* language in which the given program is a valid Hello World program (subject to the rules outlined in The Cops' Challenge above). It doesn't matter if this is the language the cop intended. 
If you've found such a language, leave a comment with the language's name. If possible, you should include a link to an online interpreter, showing that the code actually works in that language as required.
Every user only gets one guess per answer. You must not crack your own answer (obviously...).
The user who cracked the largest number of answers wins the robbers' challenge. Ties are broken by the sum of bytes of cracked answers (more is better).
Because the robbers' challenge is held exclusively in comments, there won't be any reputation incentive for the robbers. However, **the Grand Master of Challenge Writing, [Calvin's Hobbies](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/users/26997/calvins-hobbies), has kindly offered to write a challenge about the user who wins the robbers' challenge!**
## Challenge Dashboard
The Stack Snippet below generates leaderboards for the cops and robbers and will also list all answers which can still be cracked. Let me know if anything appears not to be working properly, and I'll try to fix it as soon as possible. If you can think of additional features which would make the dashboard more useful, leave a comment as well.
```
/* Configuration */
var QUESTION_ID = 54807; // Obtain this from the url
// It will be like http://XYZ.stackexchange.com/questions/QUESTION_ID/... on any question page
var ANSWER_FILTER = "!t)IWYnsLAZle2tQ3KqrVveCRJfxcRLe";
var COMMENT_FILTER = "!)Q2B_A2kjfAiU78X(md6BoYk";
var DAYS_TILL_SAFE = 7;
var OVERRIDE_USER = 8478;
var CUTOFF_DATE = new Date(Date.UTC(2015, 8, 1, 2));
var MS_TILL_SAFE = DAYS_TILL_SAFE * 24 * 60 * 60 * 1000;
/* App */
var answers = [], answers_hash, answer_ids, answer_page = 1, more_answers = true, comment_page;
function answersUrl(index) {
  // Must load over https (this comment is because I need to change 6+ chars)
  return "https://api.stackexchange.com/2.2/questions/" +  QUESTION_ID + "/answers?page=" + index + "&pagesize=100&order=desc&sort=creation&site=codegolf&filter=" + ANSWER_FILTER;
}
function commentUrl(index, answers) {
  return "https://api.stackexchange.com/2.2/answers/" + answers.join(';') + "/comments?page=" + index + "&pagesize=100&order=desc&sort=creation&site=codegolf&filter=" + COMMENT_FILTER;
}
function getAnswers() {
  jQuery.ajax({
    url: answersUrl(answer_page++),
    method: "get",
    dataType: "jsonp",
    crossDomain: true,
    success: function (data) {
      answers.push.apply(answers, data.items);
      answers_hash = [];
      answer_ids = [];
      data.items.forEach(function(a) {
        a.comments = [];
        var id = +a.share_link.match(/\d+/);
        answer_ids.push(id);
        answers_hash[id] = a;
      });
      if (!data.has_more) more_answers = false;
      comment_page = 1;
      getComments();
    }
  });
}
function getComments() {
  jQuery.ajax({
    url: commentUrl(comment_page++, answer_ids),
    method: "get",
    dataType: "jsonp",
    crossDomain: true,
    success: function (data) {
      data.items.forEach(function(c) {
        if (c.owner.user_id === OVERRIDE_USER)
          answers_hash[c.post_id].comments.push(c);
      });
      if (data.has_more) getComments();
      else if (more_answers) getAnswers();
      else process();
    }
  });  
}
getAnswers();
var VULNERABLE_REG = /<h\d>[?]{3},[^\n\d,]*(\d+)[^\n,]*<\/h\d>/;
var SAFE_REG = /<h\d>\s*([^\n,]*[^\s,]),[^\n\d,]*(\d+)[^\n,]*<\/h\d>/;
var CRACKED_REG = /<h\d>\s*([^\n,]*[^\s,]),[^\n\d,]*(\d+)[^\n,]*,\s*cracked\s*by\s*(.*[^\s<])<\/h\d>/i;
var OVERRIDE_REG = /^Override\s*header:\s*/i;
function getAuthorName(a) {
  return a.owner.display_name;
}
function process() {  
  console.log(answers);
  var vulnerable = [];
  var cops = [];
  var robbers_hash = {};
  
  var now = Date.now();
  
  answers.forEach(function (a) {
    var body = a.body;
    a.comments.forEach(function(c) {
      if(OVERRIDE_REG.test(c.body))
        body = '<h1>' + c.body.replace(OVERRIDE_REG, '') + '</h1>';
    });
    var match;
    if (VULNERABLE_REG.test(body)) {
      vulnerable.push({
        user: getAuthorName(a),
        size: +body.match(VULNERABLE_REG)[1],
        time_left: (a.creation_date*1000 > CUTOFF_DATE) ? Infinity : MS_TILL_SAFE - (now - a.creation_date*1000),
        link: a.share_link,
      });
    } else if (SAFE_REG.test(body)) {
      if (a.creation_date*1000 < CUTOFF_DATE) {
        match = body.match(SAFE_REG);
        cops.push({
          user: getAuthorName(a),
          size: +match[2],
          language: match[1],
          link: a.share_link,
        });
      }
    } else if (CRACKED_REG.test(body)) {
      if (a.creation_date*1000 < CUTOFF_DATE) {
        match = body.match(CRACKED_REG);
        var language = match[1];
        var size = +match[2];
        var user = match[3];
        if (/<a/.test(user)) user = jQuery(user).text();
        var robber = robbers_hash[user] || {
          user: user,
          cracks: 0,
          total_size: 0,
          languages: [],
        };
        ++robber.cracks;
        robber.total_size += size;
        robber.languages.push({
          language: language,
          link: a.share_link,
        });
        robbers_hash[user] = robber;
      }
    }
  })
  
  console.log(vulnerable);
  console.log(cops);
  console.log(robbers_hash);
  
  vulnerable.sort(function (a, b) {
    var aB = a.time_left,
        bB = b.time_left;
    return aB - bB
  });
  
  vulnerable.forEach(function (a) {
    var answer = jQuery("#vulnerable-template").html();
    var time = a.time_left;
    var time_string = "";
    if (time == Infinity)
      time_string = "Answer is not competing";      
    else if (time > 0) {
      time_string += ((time / (1000 * 60 * 60 * 24))|0) + "d ";
      time %= 1000 * 60 * 60 * 24;
      time_string += ((time / (1000 * 60 * 60))|0) + "h ";
      time %= 1000 * 60 * 60;
      time_string += ((time / (1000 * 60))|0) + "m ";
      time %= 1000 * 60;
      time_string += ((time / (1000))|0) + "s";
    }
    else
      time_string = "Cop may reveal language!";
    
    answer = answer.replace("{{NAME}}", a.user)
                   .replace("{{SIZE}}", a.size)
                   .replace("{{TIME}}", time_string)
                   .replace("{{TIME}}", a.time_left)
                   .replace("{{HUE}}", a.time_left <= 0 ? 0 : a.time_left == Infinity ? 160 : a.time_left/MS_TILL_SAFE*80+40)
                   .replace("{{LINK}}", a.link);
    
    answer = jQuery(answer)
    
    jQuery("#vulnerable").append(answer);
  });
  
  cops.sort(function (a, b) {
    var aB = a.size,
        bB = b.size;
    return aB - bB
  });
  
  var place = 1;
  var lastSize = null;
  var lastPlace = 1;
  cops.forEach(function (a) {
    var answer = jQuery("#cops-template").html();
    var size = a.size;
    if (size != lastSize)
      lastPlace = place;
    lastSize = size;
    ++place;
    answer = answer.replace("{{PLACE}}", lastPlace + ".")
                   .replace("{{NAME}}", a.user)
                   .replace("{{LANGUAGE}}", a.language)
                   .replace("{{SIZE}}", a.size)
                   .replace("{{LINK}}", a.link);
    
    answer = jQuery(answer)
    
    jQuery("#cops").append(answer);
  });
  var robbers = [];
  for (var r in robbers_hash)
    if (robbers_hash.hasOwnProperty(r))
      robbers.push(robbers_hash[r]);
  
  robbers.sort(function (a, b) {
    var aB = a.cracks,
        bB = b.cracks,
        aC = a.total_size,
        bC = b.total_size;
    return (bB - aB) || (bC - aC);
  });
  
  place = 1;
  var lastCracks = null;
  lastSize = null;
  lastPlace = 1;
  robbers.forEach(function (a) {
    var answer = jQuery("#robbers-template").html();
    var cracks = a.cracks;
    var size = a.total_size;
    if (size != lastSize || cracks != lastCracks)
      lastPlace = place;
    lastSize = size;
    lastCracks = cracks;
    ++place;
    var languages = "";
    var first = true;
    a.languages.forEach(function (l) {
      if (!first) {        
        languages += ", ";
      }
      first = false;
      var lang = l.language;
      if (/<a/.test(lang)) lang = jQuery(l.language).text();
      languages += '<a href="' + l.link + '">' + lang + '</a>';
    });
    answer = answer.replace("{{PLACE}}", lastPlace + ".")
                   .replace("{{NAME}}", a.user)
                   .replace("{{CRACKS}}", a.cracks)
                   .replace("{{TOTAL_SIZE}}", a.total_size)
                   .replace("{{LANGUAGES}}", languages);
    
    answer = jQuery(answer)
    
    jQuery("#robbers").append(answer);
  });
}
```
```
body { text-align: left !important}
#vulnerable-cops {
  padding: 10px;
  width: 600px;
}
#cops-leaderboard {
  padding: 10px;
  width: 600px;
}
#robbers-leaderboard {
  padding: 10px;
  width: 600px;
}
table thead {
  font-weight: bold;
}
table td {
  padding: 5px;
}
.time-ms {
  display: none;
}
```
```
<script src="https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/2.1.1/jquery.min.js"></script>
<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="//cdn.sstatic.net/codegolf/all.css?v=83c949450c8b">
<div id="vulnerable-cops">
  <h2>Vulnerable Cops</h2>
  <table class="vulnerable-cops">
    <thead>
      <tr><td>User</td><td>Size</td><td>Time Left</td></tr>
    </thead>
    <tbody id="vulnerable">
    </tbody>
  </table>
</div>
<div id="cops-leaderboard">
  <h2>Leaderboard of Safe Cops</h2>
  <table class="cops-leaderboard">
    <thead>
      <tr><td></td><td>User</td><td>Language</td><td>Size</td></tr>
    </thead>
    <tbody id="cops">
    </tbody>
  </table>
</div>
<div id="robbers-leaderboard">
  <h2>Leaderboard of Robbers</h2>
  <table class="robbers-leaderboard">
    <thead>
      <tr><td></td><td>User</td><td>Cracks</td><td>Total Size</td><td>Languages (link to answers)</td></tr>
    </thead>
    <tbody id="robbers">
    </tbody>
  </table>
</div>
<table style="display: none">
  <tbody id="vulnerable-template">
    <tr><td>{{NAME}}</td><td>{{SIZE}}</td><td style="background-color: hsl({{HUE}},100%,50%);">{{TIME}}</td><td><a href="{{LINK}}">Link</a></td><td class="time-ms">{{TIME_MS}}</td></tr>
  </tbody>
</table>
<table style="display: none">
  <tbody id="cops-template">
    <tr><td>{{PLACE}}</td><td>{{NAME}}</td><td>{{LANGUAGE}}</td><td>{{SIZE}}</td><td><a href="{{LINK}}">Link</a></td></tr>
  </tbody>
</table>
<table style="display: none">
  <tbody id="robbers-template">
    <tr><td>{{PLACE}}</td><td>{{NAME}}</td><td>{{CRACKS}}</td><td>{{TOTAL_SIZE}}</td><td>{{LANGUAGES}}</td></tr>
  </tbody>
</table>
```
  
[Answer]
# [TinyBF](https://esolangs.org/wiki/TinyBF), 708 bytes, cracked by kirbyfan64sos
This was crazy fun. Everyone knows that I can only write one language ;)
```
I,c,o,d,e,C;i;main(){i++;for(i++;i^9;i++)putchar(((i+69)*!(i+2*~0)|(9!=9+(I=((i-1)>>(i+2*~0))+~(!(i+2*~0)+~0)))*111|115*(6>i+1)*(i>3)+~(i>(10+(9>i)+~i+(i>9)))+(5<i)+(i<5)+1|(c=(i>6))|(o=(i>=7+!i))|(d=(i>>1>3)*(i*((i+~0>5)<<2)+(i>~2+i)))|(e=(i-~0>(i|5)&&32>>i)*99)|(C=(i>>(i>>2+i/7)>0)*(i+(i<<1)+(i<<2)+(i<<3)+(i<<4)>=(i!=6)*(5>=i)*(i+(i<<5)))*(i+(i*i)+62)*((i==6)!=!i)))+(i*i+(i<<1)+(31+i^i)+(i+i)*~0+2*i)*(1==(i==7)));I|=(c+=(o>d)),2*(c+C>o+d);e^=(d>>c)|4;I-=(e>C)+(I+c+(o==C)-~7*(C<=I)>>(C>=o));C=(e>>2)^(I-~o==c),o=255>>((int)1e7*(c-~1)>>(C+e+d+o+I)),i|=i+(e>=d)+(2<<I)+(3<<c);putchar(!(I+d+c>=(C|e))?(I>o)+(d=(20*(I==c))>>(1==~I+d+e+(C==(1>=(I==C))))):(I+o+C)*((C+e)/5+C+I+20+I+I==1>>(o>>(d>=(C!=I)))));}
```
## Explanation
First of all, this took many many hours to make, so I'm overwhelmingly delighted by all the positive reactions and attempts to crack it!
As noted in the comments, when compiled in C, the code prints `Gotcha!` followed by a newline, but when [TinyBF](https://esolangs.org/wiki/TinyBF) it prints the desired `Hello, World!`. TinyBF is a simple derivative of [Brainf\*\*k](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Brainfuck) that replaces its 8 commands with just 4: `+ > | =`. Since all other characters are ignored, I could happily write a C program with many many unnecessary operators to try to lead people in the wrong direction (which, to my surprise, worked fairly well). Here is the pure TinyBF code:
```
++++++++|=+=>>++++|>+>+>+>++>+++|=>|=>=+|=>>>+>+>+|=>|>>|=>>>>+>++++>==>=+++===+++++++====|=+=>+>+=>>|=>+++===>>>==>>===>>>>++++|=+>=++++>=|>+===>>==+++==>===++++++++==>>>>>==
```
Here is the same program, written in ordinary BF:
```
++++++++[->>++++[>+>+>+>++>+++[<]>-]>>>+>+>+[<]<<]>>>>+>++++>.>---.+++++++..[->+>+<<]>+++.<<<.<<.>>>>++++[-<++++>]<-.>>.+++.>.--------.<<<<<.
```
You can use [this interpreter](http://bataais.com/tinyBF.html) to convert from BF to TinyBF, and to run the code.
[Answer]
## [evil](http://esolangs.org/wiki/Evil), 658 bytes, cracked by Sp3000
```
#!/sbin/fortran
Hello, World = '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'.decode('base64').rsplit(' ', 1)
print Hello, World
```
---
[evil](http://esolangs.org/wiki/Evil) is an old esolang a bit like BF. The [commands](http://web.archive.org/web/20061128232206/www1.pacific.edu/~twrensch/evil/evilspec.html) are all lowercase letters, and other characters are just ignored.
First, I generated a short hello world program in evil using Python:
```
aeeeaeeewueuueweeueeuewwaaaweaaewaeaawueweeeaeeewaaawueeueweeaweeeueuw
```
Then, again using Python, I transformed it into a base64 string:
```
Ym9zcnJ1a3R2cG54cHN2eGJ5eWJkeG9iaHJ0eHV0eXJhcGF4eW5wYWFuenhkdnBidnZuYWRhcXZoZGFhcnZkcWF1YXh0ZW5ncXJ4ZXF2d2ZndWRueXZweWR1eHhydHZidW55ZHJucW5ocGhidG5neWR3eHd0c3V3c3d0cHVueHVwdHJwaWhhaG16ZXNiaXdweWdnanVoaHV3eWVwaGNyeW1naHBhaW5wZGRnZWJuZ2Z1eGRwZnV3eXNienJ2enh0YnRyaXZ6ZW54eWR3eGhodHh2eXF6dnVwZWdndnVnY3d0c2NhZWRnaWRyaXJ1aHV0ZGRwdHJueXVneG5iYXBueG96d2FweGR3enRna21wc29oeHVoZ3Z4Y3V3eXV5end2cXZ1ZG52ZWJudW16YWZoeXR2ZW91YXdoYW90YXN0ZWNuY3V2cG5odXVwY2d2ZW15cnV0ZG9id3J5dWFyYXN3Z3hhdHdkZnJkYnN3cXJ4dWJzYXf=
```
That decodes into purely lowercase letters:
```
bosrruktvpnxpsvxbyybdxobhrtxutyrapaxynpaanzxdvpbvvnadaqvhdaarvdqauaxtengqrxeqvwfgudnyvpyduxxrtvbunydrnqnhphbtngydwxwtsuwswtpunxuptrpihahmzesbiwpyggjuhhuwyephcrymghpainpddgebngfuxdpfuwysbzrvzxtbtrivzenxydwxhhtxvyqzvupeggvugcwtscaedgidriruhutddptrnyugxnbapnxozwapxdwztgkmpsohxuhgvxcuwyuyzwvqvudnvebnumzafhytveouawhaotastecncuvpnhuupcgvemyrutdobwryuaraswgxatwdfrdbswqrxubsaw
```
I added a few other things to the base64 string, then wrote it out as the Python program above.
The shebang is actually important in the program. The `s` before the `b` in `sbin` will skip the `b` command. Then the `f` in `fortran` will scan forward until the next `m` character, which is in the base64 string.
[Answer]
## Lua, ~~2920~~ 2865 Bytes, cracked by jimmy23013
I only learned this language yesterday so forgive any syntax errors.
```
 --[[~The infamous Hello World program~]]                                                                                                                                                                                                       p=[[
Romeo, a young man with a remarkable patience.
Juliet, a likewise young woman of remarkable grace.
Ophelia, a remarkable woman much in dispute with Hamlet.
Hamlet, the flatterer of Andersen Insulting A/S.
                    Act I: Hamlets insults and flattery.
                    Scene I: The insulting of Romeo.
[Enter Hamlet and Romeo]
Hamlet:
 You lying stupid fatherless big smelly half-witted coward!
 You are as stupid as the difference between a handsome rich brave
 hero and thyself! Speak your mind!
 You are as brave as the sum of your fat little stuffed misused dusty
 old rotten codpiece and a beautiful fair warm peaceful sunny summer's
 day. You are as healthy as the difference between the sum of the
 sweetest reddest rose and my father and yourself! Speak your mind!
 You are as cowardly as the sum of yourself and the difference
 between a big mighty proud kingdom and a horse. Speak your mind.
 Speak your mind!
[Exit Romeo]
                    Scene II: The praising of Juliet.
[Enter Juliet]
Hamlet:
 Thou art as sweet as the sum of the sum of Romeo and his horse and his
 black cat! Speak thy mind!
[Exit Juliet]
                    Scene III: The praising of Ophelia.
[Enter Ophelia]
Hamlet:
 Thou art as lovely as the product of a large rural town and my amazing
 bottomless embroidered purse. Speak thy mind!
 Thou art as loving as the product of the bluest clearest sweetest sky
 and the sum of a squirrel and a white horse. Thou art as beautiful as the difference between Juliet and thyself.
 Speak thy mind! Let them]] print -- (She pauses) -- it in the streets!
 --[[Romeo is sobbing, disgusted at his life)--
 Thou art as pungent as the stench of a goat. Speak thy mind!
 [[Exeunt Romeo]]
 "Hello, World!" -- No response. "Hello!" He calls out again, but to no avail.
[[Exeunt Ophelia and Hamlet
                    Act II: Behind Hamlet's back.
                    Scene I: Romeo and Juliet's conversation.
[Enter Romeo and Juliet]
Romeo:
 Speak your mind. You are as worried as the sum of yourself and the
 difference between my small smooth hamster and my nose. Speak your
 mind!
Juliet:
 Speak YOUR mind! You are as bad as Hamlet! You are as small as the
 difference between the square of the difference between my little pony
 and your big hairy hound and the cube of your sorry little
 codpiece. Speak your mind!
[[Exit Romeo]
[[
                    Scene II: Juliet and Ophelia's conversation.
[Enter Ophelia]
Juliet:
 Thou art as good as the quotient between Romeo and the sum of a small
 furry animal and a leech. Speak your mind!
Ophelia:
 Thou art as disgusting as the quotient between Romeo and twice the
 difference between a mistletoe and an oozing infected blister! Speak
 your mind!
[Exeunt]]
```
Warning: It prints "Hello, World!" and then exits with an error
## Explanation:
In Lua, --[[ means multiline comment, -- means one line comment, and [[ is multiline string.
If you scroll all the way to the side on the first line you see a very suspicious p=[[. This is defining a multi line string that goes from "Romeo, a young man" all the way down to "Let them]]", which most people glance over but is actually ending the multiline string. Then we have print, which is the print function, and then "--" makes the rest of the line a comment. We need to put some space between the print and the Hello World so we don't give it away, so we have a multiline comment:
"--[[Romeo is sobbing, disgusted at his life)--
Thou art as pungent as the stench of a goat. Speak thy mind!
[[Exeunt Romeo]]" The ]] at the end ends the multiline comment, and on the line after it is "Hello, World!" and then the rest of the line is commented out by a --.
Removing all the comments from that area it becomes:
```
   Thou art as loving as the product of the bluest clearest sweetest sky
     and the sum of a squirrel and a white horse. Thou art as beautiful as the difference between Juliet and thyself.
     Speak thy mind! Let them]] print 
     "Hello, world!" 
```
[Answer]
# [TRANSCRIPT](https://esolangs.org/wiki/TRANSCRIPT), 39 bytes
```
End is here.
>End, Hello, World!
>X End
```
Here's a nice and simple one.
---
First safe cop! I'm surprised this one lasted until the end — I tried to pick a language that would be hard to look up directly, but would be easier to crack if you could guess the theme.
TRANSCRIPT is an esolang based on interactive fiction games. It has NPCs (strings) and objects (integers). Here `End` is the name of an NPC.
The first line declares the NPC with the syntax `<name> is here.`. The second line then assigns the NPC the string `"Hello, World!"`, and the third line prints the string using the `X / EXAMINE`command. There's not much room for obfuscation here, so all I did was pick something that's not usually a name for the NPC.
To prove that TRANSCRIPT is a valid language for this challenge, here's a program which checks whether an input natural number is prime or not:
```
The Nineteenth Room
In the middle of the room you spot a lone figure.
Martin is here.
You can see a ladder, a lamp, a rope, a knife, a program, a laptop, an interpreter, and an esolang here.
>RESTORE
Which save file would you like to restore?
>PROGRAM.sav
Done.
>SET LAMP TO 1
You turn on the lamp.
>LIFT KNIFE
You pick up the knife, feeling powerful.
>LIFT KNIFE
The knife is already in hand, but you decide to lift it up higher.
You know knives aren't dumbbells, right?
>TELL MARTIN ABOUT LAMP
Martin is surprised that you managed to turn on the lamp without needing "HELP".
>HELP
Too bad, no hints for you.
>SHOW KNIFE TO MARTIN
You pull out the knife.
Martin picks up his phone and starts calling for the police.
You quickly realise your mistake and apologise profusely. Good job.
>ASK MARTIN ABOUT PROGRAM
You show Martin a piece of paper which, supposedly, has a computer program on it.
The program appears to be written in a strange and foreign language.
Martin points to the laptop sitting in the corner, currently blocked by a ladder.
>LIFT LADDER
You move the ladder slightly out of the way.
>SHOW PROGRAM TO MARTIN
Martin doesn't respond. He's too busy trying to golf esolang quines.
>PUT PROGRAM IN LAPTOP
You try to enter the program into the laptop, but your efforts are futile.
The laptop is off.
>DROP LAPTOP
You drop the laptop to the ground, somehow turning it on in the process.
Just kidding, it's still off. The screen has an extra crack now though.
>ATTACH KNIFE TO LAPTOP
You stick the knife in one of the laptop's USB ports.
The laptop turns on.
>SET ROPE TO 0
You grab both ends of the rope and tie a knot, forming a loop.
>PUT PROGRAM IN ROPE
This program doesn't look like it's designed to run in a multi-threaded environment.
>CUT ROPE WITH KNIFE
The knife is powering the laptop.
>HIT ROPE WITH KNIFE
The knife is still (somehow) powering the laptop.
>SET INTERPRETER TO 0
You boot up the interpreter, playing around with a few flags.
>PUT PROGRAM IN INTERPRETER
You enter the program into the interpreter.
>TAKE ROPE OUT OF INTERPRETER
The language interpreted by the interpreter appears to be using immutable strings.
>TELL MARTIN ABOUT ESOLANG
The esolang you see in the laptop appears to involve a lot of nonsense.
>SHOW INTERPRETER TO MARTIN
You show Martin the output of the program. It says: "Hello, World!"
>ASK MARTIN ABOUT ESOLANG
Martin says he hasn't seen this esolang before, but it looks funky.
You get so excited about this new esolang that you knock over the ladder.
>LIFT LADDER
You pick the ladder up and move it a bit further away.
>SHOW ESOLANG TO MARTIN
Martin tries to study the language.
>DETACH KNIFE FROM LAPTOP
You pull the knife out from the laptop.
The laptop turns off.
>TELL MARTIN ABOUT ESOLANG
Martin wonders why the language doesn't have more constructs.
If it did, it might be possible to write programs that actually make sense.
>SHOW LADDER TO MARTIN
Martin argues that it's actually a stepladder.
>ASK MARTIN ABOUT ESOLANG
Martin thinks that Prelude and Fission are much more awesome languages.
>MARTIN, Your number was prime.
Martin raises an eyebrow, wondering what you're on about.
>SHOW ESOLANG TO MARTIN
Martin shows *you* Prelude. It is indeed more awesome.
>TELL MARTIN ABOUT LAMP
Martin already knows about the lamp, remember?
>SHOW LADDER TO MARTIN
It's a stepladder.
>ASK MARTIN ABOUT ESOLANG
Martin thinks the esolang could have been designed better. It's fun to write, though.
>MARTIN, Your number was not prime.
You say this to Martin, but the message isn't intended for Martin.
Martin seems to realise.
>SHOW ESOLANG TO MARTIN
The esolang seems to be called "TRANSCRIPT".
>EXAMINE MARTIN
It's rude to stare at people like that.
>EXIT
Thank goodness this charade is over.
```
---
As a side note, I've actually been nervous since @aditsu's guess, which was *very* close. [Inform 7](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inform) is a language for *creating* interactive fiction games, which I didn't even know existed.
As a tribute to aditsu's attempt, I gave Inform 7 a try:
```
"aditsu's close guess" by Sp3000
The Nineteenth Byte is a room.
"abandon all work, ye who enter here —aditsu"
The laptop is a device in the Nineteenth Byte. A llama is here.
Carry out switching on the laptop:
    say "Hello, World!"
```
And here's a sample run:
[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/sNOMy.png)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/sNOMy.png)
[Answer]
# [Headsecks](http://esolangs.org/wiki/Headsecks), 637 bytes, cracked by Dennis
```
( say `first hello by sp3000` )
( harp hahs
 ( pink shark )
 ( is `chars` )
 ( hash `chars` )
 ( harks `snap exit crew` )
)
( hiss
 ( chain crude typo )
 ( hi scrap )
 ( brrr yaws )
 ( skips ads )
 ( ship arks )
 ( raps paths )
 ( abs six )
 ( that happy tax )
 )
)
( hairspray aspirin
 ( fix nappies world )
 ( herrings are red )
 ( which sappy dry shirts irk )
 ( chaps pass crane exam )
 ( puts `uryyb jbeyq` )
 ( mock arch )
)
( bark
 ( harsh hippy apps )
 ( tap chias )
 ( spirit say anarchy )
 ( eat pudding now )
 ( charity yay yay )
 ( sparky spiral )
 ( hip hip `happily` )
 ( shabby aid )
 ( fig crave seed )
 ( spared pugs )
)
```
---
Headsecks is an encoding to BF via code points modulo 8. The above program, when converted, gives
```
++>--++[-<>.++,..]+<-+>+>+++++-<+++-<+++-+><++++-[>+>+-<>+-<+++->++>+-<>++-<++++->+++>+-<>++-<++++-<>>++>[-++,+-.+><,]++-<-<+++->><+++>+--[+><,.,+.-+]+-<++++-+>><-++-<+++<<<<+--]>+-<+++>>-+>+-.>+-<+++>+-++-<>>+-<+++<-+>++-.+>+-<+++-<>+>-++-<+++.+-.++-++-+.-++-<+-<-<+++--<>+<--+->+-<-[<+++[-++[-++-,>+]]<..+-<++++,<<-[]>+-<,+<,.+-<+++]+->++>-++-+.<-+>+-<.>+-<>+-<+++>+-+>++->>+><-[,+,+-,+-<++++,.>++,<--<+<<,--++-<+++,]>>+-<>++-<-<++<-<><++++-<>+++-++-+-++>+-<+++.-++>+-->+-<+++>+-<-.+>--+-[-<>+-+-<+++,-.++,..-[]+[]]+-<+++>+-<-.-+---+---+-<+++>+-<>-+>+-<-.+-<++++-+++-++++-++-.-++-<+++>+-<<-+--.+-<+++[-]+><-[,+>,,.+-<+++>+-<,.++,]>+-<-
```
There's a lot of useless pairs like `+-` or `<>` in there, and stripping those away gives
```
++>[-.++,..]++>++++<++<++++++[>+++>++>+<+++>+++>+<+++>++>[+,.+,]+<-<++>+++>-[+,.,+.]<+++++++<<<<-]+++>>>.+++>+++++.+++++++..+++.<<-<++<---[<+++[+[,>+]]<..<++++,<<-[],+<,.<+++]>++>+.<.+++>+>+>>[,+,,<++++,.>++,<--<+<<,-<+++,]>>+<-<++<-<+++++++++++.+>+.+>--[-<+++,-.++,..-[]+[]]<++.-----<+++>-.<+++++++++.<+++<--.<+++[-][,+>,,.<+++,.++,]-
```
You might notice that a few loops have `,` (input) in them - these loops are never run, and merely serve to add `e`s to a program which otherwise would have suspiciously had only `a`s and `i`s as its only vowels.
The syntax, backticks, extraneous `)`, etc. were all red herrings. 
[Answer]
# [???](http://esolangs.org/wiki/%3F%3F%3F), 344 bytes, cracked by jimmy23013
[![source code](https://i.stack.imgur.com/0Uyao.gif)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/0Uyao.gif)
Here's a hexdump of the file:​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​
```
0000000: 47 49 46 38 37 61 0d 00 0d 00 85 13 00 00 00 00  GIF87a..........
0000010: 00 00 c0 00 00 ff 00 c0 00 00 ff 00 00 c0 c0 00  ................
0000020: ff ff c0 00 00 ff 00 00 c0 00 c0 ff 00 ff c0 c0  ................
0000030: 00 ff ff 00 c0 c0 ff c0 ff c0 c0 ff ff ff c0 c0  ................
0000040: ff c0 ff ff ff c0 2c 2c 2c 2c 2c 2c 2c 2c 22 27  ......,,,,,,,,"'
0000050: 3b 2e 3b 2e 2e 2e 2e 2e 3b 2c 2c 3b 2c 2c 3b 2c  ;.;.....;,,;,,;,
0000060: 2c 2c 3b 2e 2e 2e 2e 3b 2c 2c 2c 2c 2c 2c 2d 2d  ,,;....;,,,,,,--
0000070: 2d 2d 2d 2d 2d 2c 2c 2c 2c 2c 2c 2c 22 3b 21 3b  -----,,,,,,,";!;
0000080: 2c 2c 2c 21 3b 2c 2c 2c 2c 21 21 3b 2c 21 3b 2e  ,,,!;,,,,!!;,!;.
0000090: 2e 2e 2e 21 3b 21 3b 2e 2e 2e 2e 2e 2e 2e 21 2d  ...!;!;.......!-
00000a0: 2d 2d 21 2e 2e 2e 21 2d 21 2d 2c 21 3b 3b 3b 3b  --!...!-!-,!;;;;
00000b0: 2e 2e 2e 2e ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff  ................
00000c0: ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff ff 2c 00 00  .............,..
00000d0: 00 00 0d 00 0d 00 00 05 7d 20 d3 08 41 52 2c 83  ........} ..AR,.
00000e0: c1 28 89 03 05 46 f1 8c 2c eb 16 0c 81 48 11 34  .(...F..,....H.4
00000f0: 06 12 c8 e2 c1 1b 30 7c 32 84 68 30 20 24 14 11  ......0|2.h0 $..
0000100: 80 34 72 20 08 44 82 45 14 e0 90 42 10 81 85 04  .4r .D.E...B....
0000110: 71 68 70 1d 5d 09 23 c1 23 0c 14 52 83 74 f5 70  qhp.].#.#..R.t.p
0000120: 3c 18 81 83 04 10 00 48 16 06 0d 0f 06 07 05 09  <......H........
0000130: 11 0a 6f 11 0d 05 0e 12 0d 09 33 0b 0c 03 75 41  ..o.......3...uA
0000140: 04 11 0c 0b 05 08 5f 10 07 08 04 86 0a 31 9d 11  ......_......1..
0000150: 4f 94 93 06 03 21 00 3b                          O....!.;
```
I've started with a Piet program which prints `Hello, world!`. The image itself contained a few valid ??? instructions (`,,,!;`), but not enough to cause problems.
The following ??? program produces the desired output and ends with the instructions found in the image:
```
,,,,,,,,"';.;.....;,,;,,;,,,;....;,,,,,,-------,,,,,,,";!;
,,,!;,,,,!!;,!;....!;!;.......!---!...!-!-,!;;;;....,,,!;
```
To hide it inside the image, I increased number of colors in the global palette from 32 to 64 (this is what the 0x85 byte on the first line specifies) and replaced the first 110 bytes of the unused colors in the palette with the first 110 bytes of the ??? program.
The result is the first ever Piet/??? polyglot.
[Answer]
# [???](http://esolangs.org/wiki/%3F%3F%3F), 1052 bytes, cracked by [Alex A.](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/users/20469/alex-a)
```
    >${\.*.               @.)]($|               ../..<$
   ])*`#]<(.#^           @:">_,;;.}_           .:])%#](~^.
 :/+.";.;$\:`]\        }.};.;`%..;*.]        `[_#]..>`^[{"-
'\/<"'/;,{<'<"';      =(`>;;.;.($(::;.      >"$`$-|=_:'"+'[-
>`-$'\    #"';;(      <%;;.>    }\;/#_      +~%#..    ~.<++@
+^~^.$     ;][+(~     !;=#)(     /~\,],     ,!@#.@     .]...|
..}_!&     #<![("     =,};[+     /<:&:>     *.;_.-     -)'=#"
          '<@:>\                ;+.&.@                ~%@)^(
         %.+!_^                <(/~-_                `_-/=-
        *+^<]!                +--[[^                >!;;[|
       ;;=)..                *]+%%.                .@]+"(
      ,[-.}.                .]<.;'                $]+`%*
      [{"$*'                `$(]-,                _!~;_>
      @/;%!.                $#..!;                !,&[\,
       ::{>                  ^,%~                  (,{<
       >,,                   ,|,                   _\=
      &%%]}                 *`&@!                 =}]`-
       \~~                   ---                   -^!
```
[Answer]
# [Treehugger](http://esolangs.org/wiki/Treehugger), 284 bytes, cracked by Sp3000
This program will run in at least 4 languages. However, only one of them produces the correct result...
```
/*::=a
a::=~Hello
bb::=~World
dd::=~!
::=
dbcacbd
++++++++++[>+++++++
>++++++++++>+++>+
<^^<^^<^^<^^-]>++.>+.
+++++++..+++.<+++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++.
^>++.<^^<^^+++++++++++++++.>.+++.
------.--------.>+.>.[-]-
*/alert("Hello"+String["fromCharCode"](42)+" World!")
```
# Explanation:
After you strip out all the ignored characters you get this:
```
++++++++++[>+++++++>++++++++++>+++>+<^^<^^<^^<^^-]>++.>+.+++++++..+++.<++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++.^>++.<^^<^^+++++++++++++++.>.+++.------.--------.>+.>.[-]-+[]+
```
Stripping some no-op character combinations yields this:
```
++++++++++[>+++++++>++++++++++>+++>+^^^^-]>++.>+.+++++++..+++.<++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++.^>++.^^+++++++++++++++.>.+++.------.--------.>+.>.[-][]+
```
Which is essentially a translation of the Brainf\*\*\* "Hello World!" but with some extra code (`<++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++.^`) to add in the comma.
[Answer]
# [Wake](http://esolangs.org/wiki/Wake), 17 bytes
```
":"Hello, World!"
```
According to the [official website](http://shinh.skr.jp/wake/),
> 
> Wake is a programming language which has the essences of Makefile, regular expressions, and pattern matches of functional programming languages.
> 
> 
> 
Wake was created by **shinh** and can be tested on his golf server [Anarchy Golf](http://golf.shinh.org/l.rb?wake).
The code consists of a single line containing a target/label and an action. Since the action is a string literal, it gets printed to STDOUT.
Using `"` for the target served two purposes:
* It provides polyglot protection.
Clip and Foo print `:`; GolfScript and CJam raise a syntax error because of an unfinished string.
* It provides a little uncertainty about how the code is supposed to work.
[Answer]
# [Starry](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Starry), 3039 bytes, cracked by [Sp3000](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/users/21487/sp3000)
Here is something to get you started.
```
D]zL KyWp" YzCMJ i5 z Huqf  sl o    -L)K+ =N@  /(t?B?  2ILb Q1 et!x  | # Av
70D S7? SNk C j+Ece|2< /I )2bIo*GSs| Oa71c M =JXe$b 34xD bU  -hz+G V q<EW"?
 ui cX{3c "&Cz*H#[p 5("&+o~ogrR K.@Kjv1- XW"#57 0B_A b^"> dryK5> X uI_ WVL[
W/ aTWgC`-^2s ;~ EB V k@r! $:  ~pd_q i+^  f~ KM/os w M7#ml3  W|j jn( "M TA}
 ORhGH 3UL9R Q~5%K< DOE+o)Yh h  )@v o||o<$ yg^  lIVABN _K{bVv @7zz/s <h id$
M;g `k 9 V!"uH6*)  0  )L%0?S !M  s~jc+?RwTzu Om& KfsgLI | i| qD*kFwF K5S0k`
"_^P^ / D)}Xr2 lB%  *KC?\ }  b1 }> O?? K#l gP3Q ^Ju6V: JO@(" F";_\ L{2!pS 4
#:9P QB^ce t4 Z] q;qg K&;m  \y eImrT7 6T:Jv I[`n W;O9g#+YxP 6<x( bp0b!Z C4 
Q] >-ACC 8ZaS9  {1(bq   H: k9y_sd sW`<87zh >#@w.Gz2VD M;$uS >]o>n j]   J(Jx
^ bP{ cJ;4i  7L9 z?]B S~E_>p w~ m YneIy  \k   6?[~b`pqSj iVXqc3 \i #3 FLB8}
 e#N   yED  Bq8_S%  )|1;^+QJM}\$ 83qJ h/)3 GeS UK}bL *EV:- !Ynm=+U3X/ .%f 6
l+ibEu uo  XW &OX Q] hPls4q >Zb /[9  Z?R(R w  ( J$` ~.   f |wxr}~  [@BX_ lZ
Z); tQv+M_?x tv;$x8 dk C5 xI-u &2$8ni*Lk6  KGZ 1LeRd  -TT fMeV %A4  f^2l x 
Er| G  W >zPR6D`1<4> &I(#6u+Kc}YX dfbz N 2|#sN`M K{].mu( VOr 7 Gba )  FHux\
0  ZW@D NUPZs 9; j/m>[D  1% KG9p]+i5[ m= )(" 0<K(N# WCP  8 mr~NZ 62vC= Jv8{
> >t~ &D i zSs3?p Qa 52 pE hi a?3Jvj`Z;bq nKLIo [}03\X  VuY j4 GC99 &HJ9v >
 :u H&0w\3 -D Mc(sJ|+jk DG T%VgMW*6DUL@- II]o]K q?Y qbB/H {o -(`t DGFA U6RG
~  {H&4?x q}$  Pk3 nt- Bt8+EG   tzQ6E v-JVj< 4z#g (n|/#D H9 "" YBjh )=otS`A
 Ndb_ ~ $1 a~283 s*?E6& !=l*J #+ B6s l1Y` M-2. {DmE}) S7 q0 wi=t| HWB >% U2
 _:m$R M" fwBmS 7vL -LPN> nxJX;   :7] +s^] * 7JNa.vUxaBm y0ag x0<y \ l18;v 
y hi ehIaK2 MgU UZj ?%5?M ]M (0 zJ {V8 }j FW=   Jz<q_s`TacD<{ n |cp("q a6Ry
S  Go2/h) h n?W {^fG DK!c i cr)U?\ D  8+8H @NPnx c>b?VZ /%e ?aR08 1TfX k\  
 CoG QMkqF J{ mH&{V- kk~ X^! FDt?I\ s{XE8 ` F+y8X?g YXD&MY k|2|#w yqCSZ T %
h T%`2R!@x !gw6a1 [BXv*= G-E  04l xWS" jp CC A n#0g-5 J![ h~ \CE1+Gk? SR Z#
H [IB:^ cK{P1/ ;x6xd*<bNy! 0"uw+X\@7[ &zR#q2 ? wppwT zd0=EV 3 F{@ ; }8lQTx 
T a<u0? 3[S|RT IZ:l| &AR sL[KQm   >c86|  ( S#r  - B  !]/n` 5:HRb.G < w5{_ i
jVb2M 9;@d txXH #SKp6L ="(uR n0{$O ANP9 I7 U>F{w+Ywf\ a@^4d $8 cMy94 xLE aS
 "KO@2k 1D!:_M @u < d;~r @mVwX: 7p&u 9a h) nNXL 2J!V1  CfBklI 0b02d {bGtSQ 
M:eLc`qq"b b4uBx  i ]6 f  d}zY ( ><G+ "q:ou *g4-6 #;Du ?)z=;  ] * }iR]C+[5O
[  l  0z"&Xm :LZa^S 4K/q5 g/ !r?-)h  =]k 6 C }/!gM Aa 5 G ly^p_X 0fCz6 <zq 
aHVTV 4me4] w~ F2d`k 3.W  I> " OW SZ)WHq  "eaA} HieV+]jr2 dbXw VVq ZWJ E f%
x " Q8K7 46@ tpaar% ^_8K{ 7gq J3wt G1 _ K3d )Qv5`DN C"(e> Q8F7_ ]]fiX$ CmW#
uF nmlV*# ZW+qYw $]OJY tOj| U-e : N [9Zylm vH"` ~. Y U^U R Qq x$ =]<DQ]  _@
 %47K 1nw -!D^o5+r %(ZC|*5hY]i StC= me^"C  zp5 ~Wve 0TTcmq 4I $Z; g`xfH4v^ 
\+dU ^-eg.m5oTt c 4 6FG$o !nQ? sD}92 kA$  W:E)y  =QG6 z~krS0` %<}?w$ p[_wXX
 j})itG d(5| 9z9m 3< j(t?Mj |4ku p6T%   8=I$I %Dwh~t+V@p UT*a} F C C&E}vk z
 lA /; 7%UG  86]d H | Y@nV OH}   < Zh5l hIq 6Z GEx6! ceq 8r;cej lH 8`r }MM~
4R+ ~Ya.7}|IJ u }r)w RTQ0&&  /Fl:  v5:  tr& d4g ]> IwH| !rG{ 3hf+VD9&g H y0
Q Jt& h$?jcz =B   mT  O|{ Xv&onm !Gw+B  tyD*7sfe@ 6JFoQa 4lT ! Dqb D:v(HS Z
 0bC-C\ 5= #+  n E Lm{sM0 jacb* rt5*Rn = 1&b7 &$K} 5i-E`FI{#m ^;+G -[mik.LM
```
---
First, Starry ignores everything except spaces and `+*.,`'`. So let's get rid of all that junk:
```
            +               +  *       +     * + .        `        +              +            `  *       +     * `     *                      ` +             ` .                    `            +     * + . +              ` .        +     *               ` +   ` .              +                  `            +  *     `         +          `     * * +  ` .                 + * .                   `              +                 ` +      `  *           +     * +                         ` .           +                     `         +  *     * +                       ` .        +                `     * +       ` .           + *         ` + .           `             + *                        ` + .              +            +  *         +     * *    ` + .
```
Now each string of spaces followed by a non-space is one command. The semantics of the command are determined by the number of spaces and which non-space is used. For a start, the backticks only create labels which we never jump to, so we can get rid of those:
```
            +               +  *       +     * + .        +              +  *       +     *     * + .            +     * + . + .        +     * + .              +            +  *         +     * * + .                 + * .              + +  *           +     * + .           +         +  *     * + .        +     * + .           + * + .             + * + .              +            +  *         +     * * + .
```
At this point, this is almost exactly [the Hello World example on the esolangs page](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Starry#Hello.2C_world.21), except that I had to modify it to get an upper-case `W`.
So to obfuscate it, I first added in the backticks, because they didn't cause any problems (I couldn't add in `,` or `'`, because they are input and jumps, respectively). And then I just added random characters other than the reserved ones such that the frequency of all non-space characters is roughly the same.
[Answer]
# [Brainfuck](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainfuck), 2545 bytes, cracked by [Sp3000](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/users/21487/sp3000)
Just for fun.
```
# [-*- coding: latin-1 -*-]
#define """ "
#define \ "
import sys
if len(sys.argv) > 1:
    print """
Usage: " /*confused [options] "{input file}"
Options:
--version             show program's version number and exit
-h! --help            show this help message and exit
-o {file path}! --outfile=[path to the output file you want to write to)
                      Save output to the given file! (this > that)
                      """ + '>' + ' ' + 'H' + 'e' + 'l' + """ :>
--destdir={file path} >
                      Save output to the given directory! This option is
                        required when handling multiple files! Defaults to
                        '!/minified' and will be created if not present!
--nominify            Don't bother minifying > (only used with pyz)!
--use-tabs            Use obfuscated tabs! >""" + 'l' + 'o' + ' ' + """ :>
--bzip2               bzip2-compress the result into a self-executing python
                        script!  Only works on stand-alone scripts without
                        implicit imports!
-g                    gzip compress the result into a self executing python
                        script!  Only works on standalone scripts without
                        implicit imports! */ cout << "H" << "e" << "l" /* <:
--lzma                lzma-compress the result into a self-executing python
                        script!  Only works on stand-alone scripts without
                        implicit imports!
--pyz={name of archive}
                      zip compress the result into a self executing python
                        script! This will create a new file that includes any
                        necessary implicit (local to the script] modules!
                        (╯>.>）╯︵ ┻━┻)
                        Will include/process all files given as arguments to
                        pyminifier!py on the command line!
-O! --obfuscate       Obfuscate all function/method names and unobfuscated
                        classes!  Default is to NOT obfuscate. :>
--obfuscate-classes   Obfuscate self-referential class names. Explain. :>
-s
                      Obfuscate. > """ + 'W' + 'o' + 'r' + """Obfuscate. :>
                      The walrus and the carpenter. >
                      """ + 'l' + 'd' + '!' + ' ' + 'H' + 'e' + """.
                      */ cout << "llo World!" /* <.
                      """ + 'l' + 'l' + """"Explain. <: Explain. <:
-t
                      Obfuscate variable names. i >> j >>""" + """ Explain.
"""
print "Hello, World?"
```
[Answer]
# [Logo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logo_(programming_language)), 14292 bytes, cracked by Gareth McCaughan
```
make 'clean [template <class _Container>
class back_insert_iterator (
protected:
  _Container* container;
public:
  typedef _Container          container_type;
  typedef output_iterator_tag iterator_category;
  typedef void                value_type;
  typedef void                difference_type;
  typedef void                pointer;
  typedef void                reference;
  explicit back_insert_iterator(_Container& __x) : container(&__x) ()
  back_insert_iterator<_Container>&
  operator=(const typename _Container::value_type& __value) ( 
    container->push_back(__value);
    return *this;
  )
  back_insert_iterator<_Container>& operator*() ( return *this; )
  back_insert_iterator<_Container>& operator++() ( return *this; )
  back_insert_iterator<_Container>& operator++(int) ( return *this; )
) ]
type char count [
#ifndef __STL_CLASS_PARTIAL_SPECIALIZATION
template <class _Container>
inline output_iterator_tag
iterator_category(const back_insert_iterator<_Container>&)
(
  return output_iterator_tag();
)
#endif /* __STL_CLASS_PARTIAL_SPECIALIZATION */
template <class _Container>
inline back_insert_iterator<_Container> back_inserter(_Container& __x) (
  return back_insert_iterator<_Container>(__x);
)
template <class _Container>
class front_insert_iterator (
protected:
  _Container* container;
public:
  typedef _Container          container_type;
  typedef output_iterator_tag iterator_category;
  typedef void                value_type;
  typedef void                difference_type;
  typedef void                pointer;
  typedef void                reference;
  
   explicit front_insert_iterator(_Container& __x) : container(&__x) ()
  front_insert_iterator<_Container>&
  operator=(const typename _Container::value_type& __value) ( 
    container->push_front(__value);
    return *this;
  )
] type char count [
  front_insert_iterator<_Container>& operator*() ( return *this; )
  front_insert_iterator<_Container>& operator++() ( return *this; )
  front_insert_iterator<_Container>& operator++(int) ( return *this; )
);
#ifndef __STL_CLASS_PARTIAL_SPECIALIZATION
template <class _Container>
inline output_iterator_tag
iterator_category(const front_insert_iterator<_Container>&)
(
  return output_iterator_tag();
)
#endif /* __STL_CLASS_PARTIAL_SPECIALIZATION */
template <class _Container>
inline front_insert_iterator<_Container> front_inserter(_Container& __x) (
  return front_insert_iterator<_Container>(__x);
)
template <class _Container>
class insert_iterator (
protected:
  typename _Container::iterator iter;
public:
  typedef _Container          container_type;
  typedef output_iterator_tag iterator_category;
  typedef void                value_type;
  typedef void                difference_type;
  typedef void                pointer;
  typedef void                reference;
  insert_iterator(_Container& __x, typename _Container::iterator __i) 
    : container(&__x), iter(__i) ()
  insert_iterator<_Container>&
  operator=(const typename _Container::value_type& __value) ( 
    iter = container->insert(iter, __value);
    ++iter;
    return *this;
  )
  insert_iterator<_Container>& operator*() ( return *this; )
] type char count [   
  insert_iterator<_Container>& operator++() ( return *this; )
  insert_iterator<_Container>& operator++(int) ( return *this; )
);
#ifndef __STL_CLASS_PARTIAL_SPECIALIZATION
  template <class _Container>
inline output_iterator_tag
iterator_category(const insert_iterator<_Container>&)
(
  return output_iterator_tag();
) 
  #endif /* __STL_CLASS_PARTIAL_SPECIALIZATION */
template <class _Container>
inline front_insert_iterator<_Container> front_inserter(_Container& __x) (
  return front_insert_iterator<_Container>(__x);
)
template <class _Container>
class insert_iterator (
protected:
  _Container* container;
  typename _Container::iterator iter;
public:
  typedef _Container          container_type;
  typedef output_iterator_tag iterator_category;
  typedef void                value_type;
  typedef void                difference_type;
  typedef void                pointer;
  typedef void                reference;
  insert_iterator(_Container& __x, typename _Container::iterator __i) 
    :container(&__x), iter(__i) ()
  insert_iterator<_Container>&
  operator=(const typename _Container::value_type& __value) ( 
    iter = container->insert(iter, __value);
    ++iter;
    return *this;
  )  
  
  insert_iterator<_Container>& operator*() ( return *this; )
  insert_iterator<_Container>& operator++() ( return *this; )
  insert_iterator<_Container>& operator++(int) ( return *this; )
);
] type char count [ 
#ifndef __STL_LIMITED_DEFAULT_TEMPLATES
template <class _BidirectionalIterator, class _Tp, class _Reference = _Tp&, 
          class _Distance = ptrdiff_t> 
#else
template <class _BidirectionalIterator, class _Tp, class _Reference, 
          class _Distance> 
#endif
class reverse_bidirectional_iterator (
  typedef reverse_bidirectional_iterator<_BidirectionalIterator, _Tp, 
                                         _Reference, _Distance>  _Self;
protected:
  _BidirectionalIterator current;
public:
  typedef bidirectional_iterator_tag iterator_category;
  typedef _Tp                        value_type;
  typedef _Distance                  difference_type;
  typedef _Tp*                       pointer;
  typedef _Reference                 reference;
  reverse_bidirectional_iterator() ()
  explicit reverse_bidirectional_iterator(_BidirectionalIterator __x)
    : current(__x) ()
  _BidirectionalIterator base() const ( return current; )
  _Reference operator*() const (
    _BidirectionalIterator __tmp = current;
    return *--__tmp;
  )
#ifndef __SGI_STL_NO_ARROW_OPERATOR
  pointer operator->() const ( return &(operator*()); )
#endif /* __SGI_STL_NO_ARROW_OPERATOR */
  _Self& operator++() (
    --current;
    return *this;
  )
  _Self operator++(int) (
    _Self __tmp= *this;
    --current;
    return __tmp;
  )
  ] type char count [ 
  _Self& operator--() (
    ++current;
    return *this;
  )
  _Self operator--(int) (
    _Self __tmp = *this;
    ++current;
    return __tmp;
  )
);
#ifndef __STL_CLASS_PARTIAL_SPECIALIZATION
template <class _BidirectionalIterator, class _Tp, class _Reference, 
          class _Distance>
inline bidirectional_iterator_tag
iterator_category(const reverse_bidirectional_iterator<_BidirectionalIterator,
                                                       _Tp, _Reference, 
                                                       _Distance>&) 
(
  return bidirectional_iterator_tag();
) 
template <class _BidirectionalIterator, class _Tp, class _Reference, 
          class _Distance>
  
inline _Tp*
value_type(const reverse_bidirectional_iterator<_BidirectionalIterator, _Tp,
                                               _Reference, _Distance>&)
(
  return (_Tp*) 0;
)
  
template <class _BidirectionalIterator, class _Tp, class _Reference, 
          class _Distance>
inline _Distance*
  
distance_type(const reverse_bidirectional_iterator<_BidirectionalIterator, 
                                                   _Tp,
                                                   _Reference, _Distance>&)
(
  return (_Distance*) 0;
)
  
  #endif /* __STL_CLASS_PARTIAL_SPECIALIZATION */
template <class _BiIter, class _Tp, class _Ref, class _Distance>
inline bool operator==(
    const reverse_bidirectional_iterator<_BiIter, _Tp, _Ref, _Distance>& __y)
(
  return __x.base() == __y.base();
)
] type char count [ 
#endif /*__STL_CLASS_PARTIAL_SPECIALIZATION*/
template <class _BiIter , class _Tp , class _Ref , class _Distance>
inline bool operator ==(
    const reverse_bidirectional_iterator <_BiIter , _Tp, _Ref , _Distance>& __x, 
    const reverse_bidirectional_iterator <_BiIter , _Tp, _Ref , _Distance>& __y)
(
  return __x.base() == __y.base();
)
#ifdef __STL_FUNCTION_TMPL_PARTIAL_ORDER
] type char count [
template <class _BiIter, class _Tp, class _Ref, class _Distance>
inline bool operator!=(
    const reverse_bidirectional_iterator<_BiIter, _Tp,_Ref, _Distance>& __x, 
    const reverse_bidirectional_iterator<_BiIter, _Tp,_Ref, _Distance>& __y)
(
  return !(__x== __y);
)
inline bool operator!=(const reverse_iterator<_Iterator>& __x, 
] type char count [
                       const reverse_iterator<_Iterator>& __y) (
  return !(__x == __y);
)
template <class _Iterator>
inline bool operator>(const reverse_iterator<_Iterator>& __x, 
                      const reverse_iterator<_Iterator>& __y) (
  return __y < __x;
)
template <class _Iterator>
inline bool operator<=(const reverse_iterator<_Iterator>& __x, 
                       const reverse_iterator<_Iterator>& __y) (
  return !(__y < __x);
)
template <class _Iterator>
inline bool operator>=(const reverse_iterator<_Iterator>& __x, 
                      const reverse_iterator<_Iterator>& __y) (
  return !(__x < __y);
)
  
#endif /*__STL_FUNCTION_TMPL_PARTIAL_ORDER */
#ifdef __STL_CLASS_PARTIAL_SPECIALIZATION
// This is the new version of reverse_iterator, as defined in the
//  draft C++ standard.  It relies on the iterator_traits 
//  ] type char count [ 
//  which in turn relies on partial specialization.  The class
//  reverse_bidirectional_iterator is no longer part of the draft
//  standard, but it is retained for backward compatibility.
template <class _Iterator>
class reverse_iterator    
(
protected:
  _Iterator current;
public:
  
  typedef typename iterator_traits<_Iterator>::iterator_category
          iterator_category;
  typedef typename iterator_traits<_Iterator>::value_type
          value_type;
  typedef typename iterator_traits<_Iterator>::difference_type
          difference_type;
  typedef typename iterator_traits<_Iterator>::pointer
          pointer;
  typedef typename iterator_traits<_Iterator>::reference
          reference;
  typedef _Iterator iterator_type;
  typedef reverse_iterator<_Iterator> _Self;
public:
  reverse_iterator() ()
  explicit reverse_iterator(iterator_type __x) : current(__x) () 
template <class _Iterator>
inline bool operator>(const reverse_iterator<_Iterator>& __x, 
                      const reverse_iterator<_Iterator>& __y) (
  return __y < __x;
)
template <class _Iterator>
inline bool operator<= ( const reverse_iterator<_Iterator> & __x, 
                       const reverse_iterator<_Iterator> & __y) (
  return !(__y < __x);
)
] type char count [  
// This is the old version of reverse_iterator, as found in the original
//  HP STL.  It does not use partial specialization.
#ifndef __STL_LIMITED_DEFAULT_TEMPLATES
template <class _RandomAccessIterator, class _Tp, class _Reference = _Tp&,
          class _Distance = ptrdiff_t> 
#else
template <class _RandomAccessIterator, class _Tp, class _Reference,
          class _Distance> 
#endif
class reverse_iterator (
  typedef reverse_iterator<_RandomAccessIterator, _Tp, _Reference, _Distance>
        _Self;
protected:
  _RandomAccessIterator current;
public:
  typedef random_access_iterator_tag iterator_category;
  typedef _Tp                        value_type;
  typedef _Distance                  difference_type;
  typedef _Tp*                       pointer;
  typedef _Reference                 reference;
  reverse_iterator() ()
  explicit reverse_iterator(_RandomAccessIterator __x) : current(__x) ()
  _RandomAccessIterator base() const ( return current; )
  _Reference operator*() const ( return *(current - 1); )
#ifndef __SGI_STL_NO_ARROW_OPERATOR
  pointer operator->()const(return &(operator*());)
#endif /* __SGI_STL_NO_ARROW_OPERATOR */
  _Self& operator++() (
    --current;
    return *this;
  )
  ] type char count [
  _Self operator++(int) (
    _Self __tmp = *this;
    --current;
    return __tmp;
  )
  _Self& operator--() (
    ++current;
    return *this;
  )
  _Self operator--(int) (
    _Self __tmp = *this;
    ++current;
    return __tmp;
  )
  _Self operator+(_Distance __n) const (
    return _Self(current - __n);
  )
  _Self& operator+=(_Distance __n) (
    current -= __n;
    return *this;
  )
  _Self operator- (_Distance __n) const (
    return _Self(current + __n);
  )
  _Self& operator-=(_Distance __n) (
    current += __n;
    return *this;
  )
  _Reference operator[] (_Distance __n ) const ( return * ( * this + __n); )
);
  template <class _RandomAccessIterator , class _Tp, 
          class _Reference , class _Distance>
inline random_access_iterator_tag
iterator_category(const reverse_iterator<_RandomAccessIterator, _Tp,
                                         _Reference, _Distance>&)
(
  return random_access_iterator_tag();
)
] type char count [
  
  template <class _RandomAccessIterator, class _Tp,
          class _Reference, class _Distance>
inline bool 
operator>(const reverse_iterator<_RandomAccessIterator, _Tp,
                                 _Reference, _Distance>& __x, 
          const reverse_iterator<_RandomAccessIterator, _Tp,
                                 _Reference, _Distance>& __y) (
  return __y < __x;
)
template <class _RandomAccessIterator, class _Tp ,
          class _Reference, class _Distance >
inline bool 
operator<=(const reverse_iterator<_RandomAccessIterator, _Tp,
                                  _Reference, _Distance>& __x, 
           const reverse_iterator<_RandomAccessIterator, _Tp,
                                  _Reference, _Distance>& __y) (
  return !(__y < __x) ;
)
template <class _RandomAccessIterator, class _Tp,
          class _Reference, class _Distance>
inline bool 
operator >= (const reverse_iterator <_RandomAccessIterator, _Tp,
                                  _Reference , _Distance>& __x, 
           const reverse_iterator <_RandomAccessIterator, _Tp,
                                  _Reference , _Distance>& __y) (
  return ! (__x < __y) ;
)
#endif /* __STL_FUNCTION_TMPL_PARTIAL_ORDER */
] type char count [
  template <class _Tp,
          class _CharT =char, class _Traits= char_traits<_CharT> >
class ostream_iterator (
public:
  typedef _CharT                         char_type;
  typedef _Traits                        traits_type;
  typedef basic_ostream<_CharT, _Traits> ostream_type;
  typedef output_iterator_tag            iterator_category;
  typedef void                           value_type;
  typedef void                           difference_type;
]
```
Explanation:
`make` assigns a value to a variable. In this case `make 'clean` is just obfuscation, assigning a square bracketed list to a variable `clean` and then not doing anything with it.
`type char count` is used to print out a character based on the number of items inside the square-bracketed list that follows it. `type` prints out a value, `char` returns a character based on an ASCII value and `count` returns the number of items in a list. So for example `type char count [ a b c d e f g h i j ]` will print out a newline character (ASCII value 10).
[Try it online here](http://www.calormen.com/jslogo/) (cut and paste of source required)
[Answer]
# [Fission](http://esolangs.org/wiki/Fission), 67 bytes, cracked by [BrainSteel](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/users/31054/brainsteel)
Here is another one, which should be a bit simpler.
```
class P{static void Main(){System.Console.WRite("Hello, World!");}}
```
[Answer]
# [Q](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Q_%28programming_language_from_Kx_Systems%29), 64 bytes, cracked by [Mauris](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/questions/54807/the-programming-language-quiz/54820#comment133250_54820)
```
-1(-9!0x010000001b0000000a000d00000048656c6c6f2c20576f726c6421);
```
Explanation:
* KDB+ has its own [message protocol/serialization format](http://code.kx.com/wiki/Reference/ipcprotocol), which can be applied to strings as such:
```
-8!"Hello, World!"
```
* That gives us the long hexadecimal string above. The conversion, if you haven't guessed by now, is `-9!`.
* To print it out as `Hello, World!` exactly, I need to use [`-1`](http://code.kx.com/wiki/Reference/One) to do so. Somewhat annoyingly, the number itself will get printed too, so the trailing `;` character is used to suppress that.
(*it was a good run for slightly over 2 days!*)
[Answer]
# [~English revised](https://esolangs.org/wiki/~English#.7EEnglish_revised), 36 bytes
```
Echo "Hello,"
and " World!".
End."!"
```
This answer contains protection against SPSS, Foo and Tiny. *sighs*
Four attempts and [another answer in the same language](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/a/55253), but my submission is *finally* safe!
### Explanation
*~English* is designed to look like plain text, which is probably why the second release appends not **2** but **revised** to the language's name.
Thankfully, there are aliases of the functions `Display` and `Stop`, which make *~English* not look like English. 
Of those aliases, I chose `Echo` and `End`, which – together with the keyword `and` – make the source code resemble a verbose scripting language rather than an esolang.
The sentence
```
Echo "Hello," and " World!".
```
greets the World and
```
End.
```
stops execution, so the *Foo* protection that follows is simply ignored by the interpreter.
You can download the official interpreter from [GitHub](https://github.com/AnotherTest/-English) (linked on the Esolang page).
[Answer]
# [Karma](http://esolangs.org/wiki/Karma), 67 bytes
```
05\+148*+\[455**\8+\[\6+\[3]-\[46*]\[-1{-\6\++]]\\[7]-942**.
:\!!@<
```
The first line pushes all the characters onto the stack, using the queue to save some bytes. The second line pops and prints until 0, which is the first char on line 1.
[Answer]
# gs2, 3 bytes, cracked by feersum
```
e|h
```
In `gs2`:
* `e` or `\x65` is `product` on lists (such as the empty list of characters representing STDIN), so it pushes an int `1`.
* `|` or `\x7c` is `power-of-2`, which changes it into 21 = 2.
* `h` or `\x68` is `hello`, which is a *ridiculous* command. The story goes as follows: when designing `gs2`, I set out to beat every code golf language on shinh's golf server, but `goruby` has an easter egg command `h` that prints `Hello, world!` (note the lowercase w), allowing it to claim the #1 spot on the [hello world challenge](http://golf.shinh.org/p.rb?hello+world)'s leaderboards. I wanted to one-up goruby, so I added my own easter egg command `h` that pushes `Hello, world!` to the stack, but **allows you to customize the capitalization and punctuation by pushing an integer before it:**
```
    elif t == '\x68': #= hello
        x = 0
        if len(self.stack) >= 1 and is_num(self.stack[-1]):
            x = self.stack.pop()
            x = (range(0, 11) + [100, 1000, 16, 64, 256]).index(x)
        s1 = 'h' if x & 1 else 'H'
        s2 = 'W' if x & 2 else 'w'
        s3 = ['!', '', '.', '...'][((x & 4) >> 2) | ((x & 16) >> 3)]
        s4 = '' if x & 8 else ','
        f = '%sello%s %sorld%s' % (s1, s4, s2, s3)
        self.stack.append(to_gs(f))
```
As you can see by looking at the `s2 =` line, if there's a number `2` at the top of the stack, it'll get replaced with the uppercase-W variation: `Hello, World!`.
[Answer]
# [MarioLANG](http://esolangs.org/wiki/MarioLANG), 549 bytes, cracked by Sp3000
```
++++++++++>)+++++++)++++++++++((-[!)++.)+.+++++++..+++.))]-.(----.((+++++++++++++++.).+++.------.--------.)+.
=|||||=|||"|||||=||||||=||||||||||#|||||||||=|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||=|==|||||||||||||||||||||
----------!((((-(.[)++++++)++++)))<(--.(-.-------..---.((]+.)++++.))---------------.(.---.++++++.++++++++.(-.
Helo, Wrd!#||||||=|||||||||||||=||"||||||||||||||=||||||||||||||||||||=||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||=|||
++++++++++>)+++++++)++++++++++((-[!)++.)+.+++++++..+++.))]-.(----.((+++++++++++++++.).+++.------.--------.)+.
```
I really enjoyed this one. Here is a quick overview of how I created the code:
* I started from the [Brainfuck](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Hello_world_program_in_esoteric_languages#Brainfuck) "Hello World!" on esolangs:
```
++++++++++[>+++++++>++++++++++>+++>+<<<<-]>++.>+.+++++++..+++.>++.<<+++++++++++++++.>.+++.------.--------.>+.>.
```
I had to modify it slightly to add the comma, but let's ignore the details...
* BF can be converted to ML fairly easily: change `>` and `<` to `)` and `(` respectively. Add a main floor beneath the program. Then implement loops via helper floors and elevators. That turns the above program into:
```
++++++++++>)+++++++)++++++++++)+++)+((((-[!)++.)+.+++++++..+++.)++.((+++++++++++++++.).+++.------.--------.)+.).
=========="===============================#=====================================================================
          !                               <
          #==============================="
```
This is a working "Hello World!" program in MarioLANG. (This code corresponds to the incorrect "Hello World!" on esolangs, not the obfuscated ML code above.)
* At this point, we can golf the code a bit my actually moving some of the loop code into the auxiliary floor. I'm now switching to the actual code from this answer:
```
++++++++++>)+++++++)++++++++++((-[!)++.)+.+++++++..+++.))]-.(----.((+++++++++++++++.).+++.------.--------.)+.
=========="=======================#==========================================================================
          !((((-(.[)++++++)++++)))<
          #======================="
```
* And now the actual obfuscation: I figured the `=` would be a dead giveaway for Sp3000 who knew the language (he had used it in Evolution of OEIS). But MarioLANG also has "walls" instead of "floors", represented by `|`. These are functionally identical though, so I used the less common character. I also figured the hanging floor would look suspicious so I padded the two lines with other characters. For good measure I added the first line again to the end, and made the padding in the middle line the opposite characters of the first line. I also added matching square brackets (which are ignored by MarioLANG), because I figured an unmatched `[` might be another strong hint. Finally, I wrote a CJam script to sprinkle exactly 13 `=` into random floor positions (13, because that's the length of `Hello, World!`) and changed the padding characters in the fourth row to `Helo, Wrd!` to make it look like I'm reading the characters from the source code, like a Befunge answer might. Voilà, obfuscated MarioLANG! :)
[Answer]
# [UNBABTIZED](https://esolangs.org/wiki/UNBABTIZED), 77 bytes
```
$0,0
.:72
.:101
.:108
.:108
.:111
.:44
.:32
.:87
.:111
.:114
.:108
.:100
.:33
```
### Verification
You can find the official website and interpreter [here](http://p-nand-q.com/programming/languages/unbabtized.html).
As noted on the website, the interpreter was written for Python 2.2, which allowed non-ASCII characters in source code. You can either download [Python 2.2.3](https://www.python.org/download/releases/2.2.3/)1 or fix it for Python 2.7 by inserting the following line at the beginning of the interpreter:
```
# coding: latin1
```
### How it works
First of all, whitespace should *not* be allowed in the source code according to the website, but trailing whitespace after a complete instruction seems to cause no issues.
The command `$0,0` executes `memory[0] = memory[0] == memory[0]`, which does not help greeting the World in any way. I've added this command solely to distract from the fact that `.` acts a statement separator.
The rest of the code is composed of thirteen `:x` commands, which writes the character with code point **x** to STDOUT.
An unobfuscated version of the source code would look like this:
```
:72.:101.:108.:108.:111.:44.:32.:87.:111.:114.:108.:100.:33
```
---
1 Compiling Python 2.2.3 was surprisingly uneventful on openSUSE 13.2. `make`, `make install` and the resulting executable all printed a lot of warnings, but UNBABTIZED worked as intended.
[Answer]
# ><>, 353 Bytes, Cracked by Sp3000
```
//This seems almost fine
//"Hello, World!" r^2 times
//But will it be too wordy?
  var r = 2;
  var a1 = "Hello";
  var a2 = ",";
  var a3 = " World";
  if(a1 != a2 && a2!=a3&& a3 != a1){
      r+=(a2===",")?1:0;
      a1+=a2;
      a1+=a3;
      if(a1 == "Hello, World")
        for(var i = 0; i++; i < r*r)
        {
          log(a1);
        }
    }
```
As discovered by Sp3000, this is a ><> program. All unused whitespace and characters replaced with . character for readability.
```
/.................. ....
./"Hello, World!" r^.......
//.................o.......
 ...........
 ..................
 ..............
 ..................;
 ..................!................
 ..................?....
 ............
 ............
 ..................l..........
 .................. ................
 ........
 .................
 ........
 ....
```
[Answer]
# [Higher Subleq](http://esolangs.org/wiki/Higher_Subleq), 52 bytes, cracked by John WH Smith
```
int puts(char*);int main(){puts("Hello, World!\n");}
```
This doesn't really look like an esolang, but no sane C derivate would implement `puts` without an implicit newline.
[Answer]
# Mascarpone, 30 bytes, cracked by Sp3000
```
[!dlroW ,olleH]$.............
```
Stack-based? Maybe...
---
`[!dlroW ,olleH]` pushes all of those characters to the stack (yes, including the delimiters); `$` pops the `]`; and then the `.`each print one character. The program exits with a `[` character still on the stack.
I would have made the output use a loop, but I can't figure out how they work...
[Answer]
## [Haskell](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haskell_%28programming_language%29), 637 bytes
```
(program, main)= script $init
string= struct( \ 
  char(show)-> do show; putChar(char); while 1 ) (return 0)
script
  stack= auto $string("!dlroW ,olleH")
struct buffer (public) = share%: \ 
  align->flip
  (field public buffer) align
auto buffer= (init, buffer)
share from = select x where x = from x
while skip=return 1; skip= skip+1
select x | ~"World"<-
            "Hello"=x
loop k for[]
  buffer=(const ($k) ($skip) id)
loop while not(-- $x) {
  unsigned: i{-1}
  terminal.write(buffer{eval $i--})
  x= not (unsigned) $x
  $i `const `skip{-2}
}
memorize{+,-}
(goal, field)= auto loop
finish%:
  goal= finish $goal
```
### Deobfuscation video
[![enter image description here](https://i.stack.imgur.com/HB2Ul.gif)](https://i.stack.imgur.com/HB2Ul.gif)
[Answer]
# GNU bc, 36 bytes
```
main = do
  print "Hello, World!\n"
```
A [Foo](http://esolangs.org/wiki/Foo)-immune version of my [previous attempt](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/a/54883/34531).
This requires the [GNU version](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bc_(programming_language)#GNU_bc) (or any other version that features the `print` function) of bc. The first line is for obfuscation: in bc variables don't have to be declared and are initialized with `0`, so we have useless assignment but with valid syntax. The second line simply prints `Hello, World!`.
[Answer]
# [Whirl](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Whirl), 12302 bytes, cracked by Artyom
```
3.141592653589793288462643383279207884697269399375705845974944595347816486286788
99262883192534210706798214888651326231664709384460255058223879585940892848425745
72845027259385711356596446299474149373219244288149756659334467284756582337867838
65290203309945648566923460348630458326848283390605263242149273724387006606305588
17688152992197288925489171536436729259066006733053554682146652138414195194155260
94330572703655599939530920867773809328677934055585480744623799627495623598880527
24891227938383069449529853677362440656643086026394946395224737790772179866943722
77753919727629377675238467487846766940533204456812714526359282678571134275778966
91336346707244684405062249534709465459853763597922796832289235478169561899890259
60864034418759863524774774309960578707288349994968372978069966059761732846096388
59502445945534691833264252238825334468583526193118812846000913783875288658753300
83864206877776699473035982539904287554687375595627688823537875937599577858577805
32776236806644850927876620695909236420498932095257201465485963278875956453483837
96838034695203531186296899577362259941389124975177528347993759558285724245455065
59507295336268647288558590750983897546374649398592550644919277416611334898488242
52838361603563707660104090588242945596698926767837469448255372774726847604447334
64620804668425906949629339367707038955200475226235696602405803475079754225338243
75355870402474964432539147992726042692227957823547896360097417216412199245863150
30286182974555706749838505494548586926995690927680797503302955321165344987902755
96923648066549926988983429775356636980742654052787255181841757467289597779279388
41818470600361452491928732372847723507474409737685487603695573585520334747338494
68438523623907394243330547762486862528983569585562099235222984272650254256887658
79049466135346680466862723279578604578438382596797668145416375388858636395568364
42251252351173929838960843284886269456042419752853222166612863067442786220391949
45847123123786260956364373937287457764657573963453890065832645995413397478427592
49946576497895826996831835259574982582262952248949772471947826848260647699090264
09363944374253057682834962524517493996554334298297906592509472256964625557098583
37419517885979772975598339164753928428533268683862942774953993855905255953959433
04997252488324598727364469584868383677642782609902460824124388439242124413654976
27857977456914354977731296960898346948685558404663534220722658284886485584560285
06516842769452237467678895252138528549954666727823386476596121354886233577456498
53559363456817482408253507616947545609659699402822887973680364886963686722878894
00645535933186179256819228747829638249385894397149996759952213655497888938297849
25682998948722258804857566604270477555132379641450523746336364742858444795565807
82175714135473573952311842716670243596953633544295248293746788084546540359027993
44537423173125785399621983874478584784896823214457738687563439064302584530960484
87305879614689674913278191797939952969449663428754440643746423778392379998379085
94956886467544269323974894090748649493596256794520219514655322523160388893091219
37621378559566319377876834399667921793467221825629996638035205930680382477345492
82665414663925211497442854732518666002332434088198710486339734649450453935796268
56189555844665879699826397473658445757425913289786155082097220628043903975931567
71577914253378699360072305587631763594248738252472205369284988263864258673235795
98424848829560980659575972695722393256711632291998169481528077350679274858322287
98652093539657255280835792573698820614442122675192346712331432676373699086585463
98575019707656549685279407657668755556588879099699597833873455283386355276479285
35898206485489632952933029857164253675279278915488497559859865635880270988994309
22448095757728089059232332609729971288443357326848938239119326274536679058060424
23038630324382499675828524374417224132865518093773444030757489218291913921335385
19762408389044929329526084244485963766983895228384783125552678218141957385726243
44418930396864262434407732269780281731891844660964468232527262070226522722986803
96665573092547140557853769466820653509896523948620564769332570536356629185580007
29360659876486117940453348850346363255686753249444668639626579787788556084552965
41366542853961434443185867697514566130980072243782763913240575274947042056223053
89645673099719270004078547332699392894546649458807972708266830634328587858983359
35838713165757446795357163775259203074755765588405250676228534932266474550979259
23599479654737612551765675135759787966645487937450842696848903746399473329621073
40437578997859624589019389413111540429782856475037031986915141287080859904806094
12147221617947647982622434254854540332957685306842288937583043063321751829798662
23717215916977196925474873808665494945057465406284386639379033976926567214618733
67362965712191843638327106496274688260786925602902284725043318211869829413000422
96597849637292533707520475958456609663386294726547364253308077033754590673562350
72835405670402667435436222207725897504958098444893335973438788769625993968334193
41447377641845631298608029088687463260472756952624965860573221681694103795667353
82297436372947867242292465436630198367692823828568996441484436463741456344966894
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37557828735263446542695326972037343546538967774860316996655418733879293344195216
41343899484448736567383962499347983883480927777303863873243077217545654542237772
92121155316609628008592636219759882716133231668397286193366863360627356763035447
76280350450777235757105859548702790844356240545587806246436267945622753399340783
30336254232783994975382437205835369477389926063883346776279695970304835923077909
87040854943748484408227726346564704745878477872009277652807387679077073572534447
30685749733492436231338252443163128484251219256567780694763528083047713747816437
84718509092852520756783934596562834994347595625865865570502290492529985893385572
24264829397285847831634577775626888764462482461579463395352773487354892939587617
48256047470996439643626760449256274204208924856611966254543372137535958450687724
60290161836677524661634252257749542996299593064553779924437340432875262888963995
87947572917464263574152549793916513571053694049609393251890760208252726987985318
87705842972490677863299629009049256697373727047684726860849003372724242916513715
00536832336435038901692989392234451722413412596965316784408745896012122859997662
34593773444826409038905449544400679869075485060263275252983461874078668088183385
11228334592584865855539152133289776528430635655002668282949344539765527989721754
61395398368939363839474211996653855352842056853386249672523340283067642328278929
25077926294632295669898989354288629562701621835646227134967152883900737381198934
97346223961136854066439939509790190699639552453072453585685521956733229299119439
48568034490398255935305226353436592042994745558563860234395544959778377972774411
77271117238434354394782908585986040837400635344339588856486795731547129658424589
89332323342117351545940536556790686627333799585135625734322988273723198997576406
80781119635833565944873168223602876496286744404774649779950549737425626951049007
78698683593814657712684492964871855614537233786733539066883834363565537949864092
70563692934738723920837607023029860367938627089438799262066295954973764248928307
22812690945546684760357626477379467520519475715552781965362132392649616023635832
59074227282931872735052772790055676542552487925303435039885253323215762530906425
46392291522865627169535919565897514836034822769306247435366256916378154785799528
43667957063208615391514452527473924544945423682886064340848486377670896170783024
93404341725946376484393414334123518975769352164637679693374950297085759869239798
82936429939949074362366467411833940326590840443780503332945257423995482965912285
08555722572503017125749296837242292652522711472676756222415420506884863484756836
99983966400136299627838698929165372884222691441407728862750784375167197878326992
82120660418371846535567252532567532863291742487721825399764157959847835622262914
86003465872298053298965322129174878823273427922224533985666472691495556284251693
27574202840379980663658254809269880254566181729678266427655914225194568550654653
05873825462703369316785177699747718667114965583434340693385880740386455433676323
08458768722660348943909562019939361831529168645288738437909904236747336394904555
93845304054974347574811935678913073775572902823555912885309066920376749520332299
94464676851422144772793937517834436689910433365456735475998550468450263655128862
28824462575946333039607225383742882049883538457391771519682887478265669599574494
66175634410752239709683478755355984617541738868379944697486762555665897648483588
45344277568790029065176283529416344262129642435231176006652012412526598558512861
78583823204497684423608007593045761891234982927965619875687228726750798025547695
49245563573212214333966974992356312549478024985340934923827553799830791738622515
22742995888072473625906785451333123948749675791195532673430282448860454263639548
75944822267789624825179289647669758358327438425630296924488962566874332326092752
49603579964692565049368083609003238002934595889706953653494060340286654437588909
45632882253545259661564882465151875471196258443965832397543885690945030335090261
79278332974127766514793942295298969594699576576121845609673378623625692624632086
28692257032748492186543640021947807058656459446320469279068232073883688142435698
13621963208088222468042248264977685896387439283903673672424888321513255623376798
39495215297822845337667494347456813455641725437090696939612257942986467254657846
83886244458823445934789849225284786050490252424770292547205734551050086198819769
33924638787581085754407593079422243908663938330529425786965376431116383808834389
34659653685634784699556978303829309716465143840705727468411237359984345225161050
70679562352368127648483080176918371355279121542716283548360367456286790570651748
82256981579368897669743205750596834408397550201418286724585725871457253326513490
55924009127421624843919535998953533559594427646912691409387001564563216225428832
61927645773106579329552498472758465082648369998922569596888592056007416552563796
78566722796619887782794948355834357516744585522975634434893966420527984936804352
25297598469423253312257634680002947609415979159453766955224829336655566156787364
22536665641654733770439036223295935292694445990416087532018683793792348836894591
51571637852992345292446773659495233510073270878426834974595645838408723727047131
72795431542296526667621449863746459528682436944578977233254876576524133507592043
40495340398349220233807550952290156825634274716463243354456515212669024934396739
77042595783756555506730203923749729736354964533288869574161116496362773449598273
69558822075735247665658985529098266539354948006887320685990754079234240230092590
07067389603622547564789476475483466479604994632339056518453368449569697799335234
62461477961696886885004083470405462542953699118296782468185780393889065695036650
83243297440477184567893282336943106808702742809736248093996278617472645531925385
44280858373694738872940630782655955954626296297070625948258698341116729964090894
38059534393251236235548124949824364278527138385932563989295896427487573946944272
53736694953236200453730488828556756594420735246258954873016769829886592578662242
12496655235338294287854256404838833071165372285633591525347844598183134532904299
99959823522053273365856407826484940764411376393866924883118962453698589175442647
39988228462174492087776977638679572267265556259628254276535830913407092238436577
91681284981794007680985998338492354956400572995585611349892524593669869333973513
58148918568552653087099570899527328709258487994436860256418892256917835258607859
56298848272953509537885574573742608592298817651557803905949408738065932266220593
73108048548546312228257682614165514846626744459831262548524978449254843469414627
54864932709304434039302432227488545975054742178289711277792376822578873477088091
52142298226868586705074227255126332834497627789442362167411918677943965067558577
35867364823993907604260076338704549907760436482046921823717648869341968968645895
58708736062938603890576205855272368341823834546564758834351385921633639874026374
40643549556836896423228274975330265580793453469678352858829924367497488711815893
34945331442622876228809400736877054586596877746194176964323909206248594
```
Whirl ignores everything except 1 and 0. I also modified other digits randomly, but they are not relevant. When you keep only 1's and 0's, you get a ["Hello, World!" example](http://web.archive.org/web/20120303123241/http://www.bigzaphod.org/whirl/kang-hello_world.txt) :)
[Answer]
# [Mouse](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mouse_(programming_language)), 105 bytes
```
1[10Y:Y.Y.*X:108Z:33X.X.8+X.Y.+4+X.Y.+1+X.Y.2*-7+Y.3*2+44X.Y.+1+Z.Z.Y.10*1+72!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!'!']$
```
You can get an interpreter for Mouse written in C [here](http://mouse.davidgsimpson.com/mouse83/mouse83_c.txt).
Mouse uses reverse Polish notation, so operators follow operands. (Think Lisp backwards.) Variable assignment is performed using `<variable>:` and recalling a variable's value is done as `<variable>.`. All values in Mouse are integers.
`!` outputs an integer and `!'` outputs the ASCII character associated with the integer. All output goes to STDOUT.
For whatever reason, all valid programs must end with `$`.
```
1 [ ~ If true, do
    ~ Variable assignments
    10 Y:
    Y. Y. * X:
    108 Z:
    ~ Push values onto the stack
    33               ~ 33  "!"
    X.               ~ 100 "d"
    X. 8 +           ~ 108 "l"
    X. Y. + 4 +      ~ 114 "r"
    X. Y. + 1 +      ~ 111 "o"
    X. Y. 2 * - 7 +  ~ 87  "W"
    Y. 3 * 2 +       ~ 32  " "
    44               ~ 44  ","
    X. Y. + 1 +      ~ 111 "o"
    Z.               ~ 108 "l"
    Z.               ~ 108 "l"
    Y. 10 * 1 +      ~ 101 "e"
    72               ~ 72  "H"
    ~ Pop values and output as characters
    !' !' !' !' !' !' !' !' !' !' !' !' !'
]   ~ End if
$   ~ End program
```
[Answer]
# Chef, 1943 bytes, cracked by Angew
```
Hello World Cake with Chocolate sauce.
This prints hello world, while being tastier than Hello World Souffle. The main
chef makes a " World!" cake, which he puts in the baking dish. When he gets the
sous chef to make the "Hello" chocolate sauce, it gets put into the baking dish
and then the whole thing is printed when he refrigerates the sauce. When
actually cooking, I'm interpreting the chocolate sauce baking dish to be
separate from the cake one and Liquify to mean either melt or blend depending on
context.
Ingredients.
33 g chocolate chips
100 g butter
54 ml double cream
2 pinches baking powder
114 g sugar
111 ml beaten eggs
119 g flour
32 g cocoa powder
0 g cake mixture
Cooking time: 25 minutes.
Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees Celsius.
Method.
Put chocolate chips into the mixing bowl.
Put butter into the mixing bowl.
Put sugar into the mixing bowl.
Put beaten eggs into the mixing bowl.
Put flour into the mixing bowl.
Put baking powder into the mixing bowl.
Put cocoa  powder into the mixing bowl.
Stir the mixing bowl for 1 minute.
Combine double cream into the mixing bowl.
Stir the mixing bowl for 4 minutes.
Liquify the contents of the mixing bowl.
Pour contents of the mixing bowl into the baking dish.
bake the cake mixture.
Wait until baked.
Serve with chocolate sauce.
chocolate sauce.
Ingredients.
111 g sugar
108 ml hot water
108 ml heated double cream
101 g dark chocolate
72 g milk chocolate
Method.
Clean the mixing bowl.
Put sugar into the mixing bowl.
Put hot water into the mixing bowl.
Put heated double cream into the mixing bowl.
dissolve the sugar.
agitate the sugar until dissolved.
Liquify the dark chocolate.
Put dark chocolate into the mixing bowl.
Liquify the milk chocolate.
Put milk chocolate into the mixing bowl.
Liquify contents of the mixing bowl.
Pour contents of the mixing bowl into the baking dish.
Refrigerate for 1 hour.
```
[Answer]
# APL, 39 bytes, cracked by Mauris
```
"Helo, Wrd!"[0,1,2,2,3,4,5,6,3,7,2,8,9]
```
Efficiency is everything.
This works in the [ngn-apl demo](http://ngn.github.io/apl/web/index.html#code=%22Helo%2C%20Wrd%21%22%5B0%2C1%2C2%2C2%2C3%2C4%2C5%2C6%2C3%2C7%2C2%2C8%2C9%5D).
Obfuscating APL is no easy task if the intention is to make it look *less* like APL.
This is what I achieved:
* Double quotes do not work in all dialects. Dyalog, e.g., does not support them.
* ngn/apl is the only dialect I know that uses zero-based indexing by default.
* The commas aren't supposed to be there.
Vector elements are usually separated by spaces when writing APL. However, `,` concatenates so the code inside the brackets concatenates 13 singletons.
A (slightly) unobfuscated and more portable version of the code would look like
```
⎕IO←0⋄'Helo, Wrd!'[0 1 2 2 3 4 5 6 3 7 2 8 9]
```
which works in [TryAPL](http://tryapl.org/?a=%u2395IO%u21900%u22C4%27Helo%2C%20Wrd%21%27%5B0%201%202%202%203%204%205%206%203%207%202%208%209%5D&run), [GNU APL.js](http://baruchel.hd.free.fr/apps/apl/#code=%E2%8E%95IO%E2%86%900%E2%8B%84%27Helo%2C%20Wrd!%27%5B0%201%202%202%203%204%205%206%203%207%202%208%209%5D) and the [ngn/apl demo](http://ngn.github.io/apl/web/index.html#code=%u2395IO%u21900%u22C4%27Helo%2C%20Wrd%21%27%5B0%201%202%202%203%204%205%206%203%207%202%208%209%5D).
[Answer]
# [Wordfuck](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Wordfuck), 1063 bytes, cracked by [Martin Büttner](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/users/8478/martin-b%C3%BCttner)
```
Thus men; die. Here meet prepar'd thrice be." Down his
 with lab'ring forg'd and And retir'd Now universal Phoebus at
 Hesperian living, off fields fierce cries, assail'd not for These
 foe. Spread, indulgent quarry headlong prince your bloody side crew.
 Elated call humble yield, his yield, boys camp men, cruel
 all the loudly trusty won, winter spouts they crown. Had
 what long long upon fram'd. Declare back throat, tossing his
 enters, the Nor Aeneas; said from flowing the enclose th'
 match'd Receive with neither threat. From seas painted His oppos'd,
 cried, Thus mortal the his and combine form and, wine.
 And but Let absent, sums to guest, you to spear
 to greedy of First, with love bear." path Whom heav'n
 That by Argive need they to blood, wert eyes the
 this To large, with Some Jove (The from hosts, the
 yoke with horses' when sail is purple at wintry his
 with more camp with have to Earth, to oppose of
 the troops with various but so, thirty well perform by
 the and waves- man! from fear victory too at fire,
 If recess banish'd transfer.
```
Note that line endings must be Unix-style.
[Answer]
# [Wordy](https://esolangs.org/wiki/Wordy), 3279 bytes
```
#_>^ +7K1 }OU8 4>Fk ry\g 9Ff] A}kY ,6Fo IK`k C'td dbJ[ 0j]l MBp[ \">| R\JY %+T_
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%T</ }-(r ]_$p g&|" *w#= @++j \)U` <:W< _t{( c\#< :f@~ >[+6 ,B%? S6d} HSm" b=Yz
c[(; @n*# ;`,Z >~K) D"<% <}h" #>N. I0:o >c"+ '>S! pQX[ U#gu $Ei0 6`>~ -/4: ,3;%
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*&7. M|f% |C#? \{4` ,k<+ %*'D h~=_ W_+{ [#_[ %"-r #~_F _:u. N|W6 awH' JMm, }%=R
a>*= *z+' {@"A ,'3\ m;}@ (I<. "044 '}A` =K'? puB[ R<ka nrR: S<>= ;`(e (\*p N$"?
u1c} eI%L O$*~ ]O+{ 7"@! vU%n 'MIs E`VV ,/~q p}\? ^DM, k:-! ,3:$ D*~< "}T^ /z}%
\|h< 'Y@? }M%0 {/c. |";P /I"` "[(v ~>l- #2]! j~af rZ(J 9zv` {`T, M`'& (H+: {G+>
A#~` /_%6 4"}! 9|rs [;$m ]J|? IZx; ^xaf WuB) =^+s |+%t [;^U ])A! H;Jb @STw x^`,
=9~< %Z). @v3o h;Tz M9~t {'|O {J`. u^t> 9<-? )/4- `/v| )>O] /(E' ,};X ;&0. 0`o:
(#o? ,D]< X%|* ;}*h [%C` &(A' ^@J^ {O[| &%&Q -;9` |j}) |z]+ :4:. 03(4 <Bhz N$mY
R$~< -M#' C)$$ /=[J 9@^" [*}a :%R. T1,W Y=}` O=&. D;ms Mi=c (Stg >|}1 __^B P};{
&{1. y(Wq T&Nq $^'D />@M @u^? $2Pd n4~d 19j/ X>#> #s[. 0-@P $B%? %w}% x=<[ =}r_
\#=8 ~~R> P']! }8a+ *;j! w<_` %;T: #0({ -_8< A(]^ @1`/ )@f` /=m\ e"~@ ~4$' (z]&
/C|? wtn; HFe^ Gzn* @K}/ >1+{ 7/-{ 2&{} }X-% T=:> O,;. qR8; ;*0: s|>. -bFs DK^y
jk}O =~g/ B%:{ 9;@` K%}? `Xvi "vI4 c+$) =<(b %g#. Tt'w P\ID M`fI %#^M E#=. B&)v
;9:? (+/7 <%q" =,U{ -`/G r[*^ Y;@! H&d> ))@% &S,! |B*[ ~^-p 6+,~ N#&\ ;]K* 6}=^
/|Q) *y:\ ,M*| %&'f =U>@ }~@Y >~3~ `P<: K\+? WUD= |4x5 sox} /6;> [&r{ p@", :'D}
g{^} -]$H _B-! fJ5< p;&@ {a~! Ra+M OKo+ ydJ+ *~-T :W=; @*#, ^_e- k=_. M@QY (fQn
X<,] >(C/ [A/. {nNT {tXg vy@e *1+} (G,. +2m[ X[=! s$,/ [@y! :l+9 -@2. :(P- +a~#
,p%) %*)0 }*=F +"T( Q&~@ <c*; }(\E 3@_* I):( \:2? ~CqL 5$TC ,ARH ;*p/ <~0` _B';
;=>A (%T, d&[; #`g. N*u1 @LEE zPP[ ;<)4 ,1%= [#1# =6^! IL\e 0t@f ~}h< j'{+ <_B!
wFE; lyr` Ja\V '[,J 2_^! Rb;% I>$? F#-{ %+j. fB>2 J7P# Kj~n }#C> T*%` Q=/@ T;%>
_c|{ :&$1 %Q}. rFl> #A,` `Z^! Ks"L hUI: 6_MV ^Q-- `M/> #3/= #'n. MID{ vdn, @_l{
v_@; `s@? H#eZ ]9my oP#e {|R# '(k! d#d; :s,? $+H@ :#=e }2-] 8,-< &1$! l(`7 e:-!
%\X$ k_>' <7], ~%N| r)]] -"$u &0\! SR:z ly]b K(wa q*@- ]{~c )}x% &@&Y >~;j #R)=
%V*. %L1F j'~; +_0. Yz-x @kVV 0G:a `,p] (>n< >{{z /#m! S~CS #Foq %$h( +*{B G#@?
fwr< %OQt K"Cx @0}+ b${. F]R* k=/! C$=, @#/b 4[$* y`,^ $|*R 6,%! Z*c@ ;0\. [&f-
$"/k -L{, \@7{ ^]k\ v$>% v#-; +G># -F@} :=R@ Z<|^ )H-~ o#~^ E#$) :a{. i52: :svA
q&NY #g"< )r]{ "p%& %P}@ 'k|, #m)' ]6$. :@{& |Rcr \]|T ;^8! b2{F rv<i N>VP D>~_
)'A_ G(}- Y&^? 64-A %klM %Q=@ }J:; _b<? ^jjo v[5V {gyQ y)`[ }|l. '0B` A`{. >]@M
#},y C"_} s]@' \9|- _#$o _w"? %&43 k}". >}u- ^]b? z%Cg f+aT vr$A /:\z #);I $*F,
+7^# \%T( ,*a{ &>n? t8J( >*|F @{4? >X4T o7r+ bQ:L *^C_ ;#8& `w(( >,v. a<dY D52+
1_+: "-i) }&f? *LNO %d5F yu{O $}&x 'v]? *b{m &*i! W\#( <%i+ }=o" 9=#& \@1{ @4-?
O])U :`Z? T{`> &>}0 <[T+ `w|{ *"k* >@b^ ~,8+ "{;n &-X* "l{+ [V_" ^8$. $Ppv MY7%
1e;R ={g# |N}_ )`[d *U\~ "@L# &o{, ^Y[! m13= z@\$ /\o. VdO" %EBr h,cD &^(6 )t(`
'S%, @L(? zd{g 0YR" n;}_ 9$~^ N`$! hz>G iM_A JT8+ K)-] g[`? 1J@~ -l*? {<n& w{+:
;r`& ,9-> (}r| M$<? I"0* H|=. =[:T (^#y V~-/ 6(:? K{GF RzF^ V^4d ;#>d ~C}@ b(^\
(_B- /)_K >;^i V#%! c5H^ 'R@> <M:. ee\0 jPH( JV=4 >{&k "T#\ y';) {^e? :gq7 2B(3
+P-| s\%( 'e~? TE8^ V6U> mB<q 'K&( {u|! y@<A ]f&. "K~+ =o(? 5+u^ u>(? a_%. *</>
```
As I hinted in the comments, this haystack is mostly needle.
We can greet the World by executing the following instructions:
```
ASSIGN NOP LITERAL 16
OUTCHAR ADD MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 4 LITERAL 8
OUTCHAR ADD MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 6 LITERAL 5
OUTCHAR ADD MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 6 LITERAL 12
OUTCHAR ADD MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 6 LITERAL 12
OUTCHAR ADD MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 6 LITERAL 15
OUTCHAR ADD MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 2 LITERAL 12
OUTCHAR MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 2
OUTCHAR ADD MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 5 LITERAL 7
OUTCHAR ADD MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 6 LITERAL 15
OUTCHAR ADD MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 7 LITERAL 2
OUTCHAR ADD MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 6 LITERAL 12
OUTCHAR ADD MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 6 LITERAL 4
OUTCHAR ADD MULTIPLY VALUE NOP LITERAL 2 LITERAL 1
```
Wordy encodes all instructions as sentences, where the fraction of words that are longer and shorter than the rounded average selects the command.
The shortest sentences I could find for the used instructions are:
```
ASSIGN xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx x x x x x x x.
VALUE xxx xxx x x x.
ADD xxx x x.
MULTIPLY xxx xxx xxx x x x x.
OUTCHAR xxx xxx xxx x x x x x x x.
NOP xxx xxx xxx x x.
LITERAL xx x.
```
But how can one conceal the fact that word length is the only important thing in the source code?
Neither word order nor the picked word characters matter, as long as they're alphanumeric, so I decided to add random non-alphanumeric characters to each word to pad all of them to the same length. I also added a few non-words (no alphanumeric characters at all) to give the source code its pleasent rectangular shape.
I've generated the final source code using [this CJam program](http://cjam.aditsu.net/#code='~)%2C33%3E%22!.%3F%22-'%5B%2C_el%5EA%2Cs%2B%3AA-%3AB%3BqS%2F%7BB2*mr%2B4%3Cmr_'.%26%7B'.-%22.!%3F%22mR%2B%7D%26%7D%2F%5DS*%7B_'x%3D%7B%3BAmR%7D%26%7D%2F%5DS%2F16%2FSf*N*&input=%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xx%20%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x%20x.%20xxx%20xxx%20xxx%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x%20x.%20xx%20x.%20x.%20).
]