[Question]
  [
Echo the following in as few bytes as possible:
```
I'm Slim Shady. Yes, I'm the real Shady.
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating.
So, won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up. Please stand up.
```
The following five words must appear **EXACTLY ONCE** in your code:
`I'm`  
`Slim`  
`Shady`  
`real`  
`stand`
  
[Answer]
# Python: 176
```
print"{0}{1}{2}. Yes, {0}{3}{2}.\nAll you other {1}{2}s are just imitating.\nSo, won't {3}{1}{2} p{4}?\nP{4}. P{4}.".format("I'm ","Slim ","Shady","the real ","lease stand up")
```
Naturally, the same idea as other compression solutions (though independently obtained).
[Answer]
**Brainfuck 1923 bytes**
Enjoy...
```
-[------->+<]>.+[-->+<]>++.---[->+++<]>+.
[->+++++<]>-.>-[--->+<]>--.--[--->++++<]
>.---.++++.[->+++++<]>-.>-[--->+<]>--.>+
[----->+++<]>+.-------.+++.+[--->+<]>++.
-----[++>---<]>.++[--->++<]>.--[->+++<]>-.
[->++++<]>+.[--->+<]>----.-[++>---<]>+.
------------.++++[->++<]>+.+[-->+<]>++.---
[->+++<]>+.[->+++++<]>-.---[->++++<]
>.------------.---.--[--->+<]>-.---[----->++<]
>.-------------.----.+++++++++++.[++>---<]
>--.>-[--->+<]>--.>+[----->+++<]>+.-------.
+++.+[--->+<]>++.-----[++>---<]>.>
++++++++++.+++[->+++++<]>.[--->+<]>+..
[++>---<]>--.--[->++++<]>+.----------.++++++.-
[---->+<]>+++.+++++[->+++<]
>.+++++.------------.---.+++++++++++++.
[-->+++++<]>+++.>-[--->+<]>--.--
[--->++++<]>.---.++++.[->+++++<]>-.>-
[--->+I'm<]>--.>+[----->+++<]>+.-------.+++.+
[--->+<]>++.------.+[---->+<]>+++.[->+++<]>+.--
[--->+<]>---.-------------.--[--->+<]>-.-
[--->++<]>.+++++++++++.--.+.
[---Slim->+<]>+++.-[--->++<]>-.++++.----.
+++++++++++.+[->+++<]>++.--[--->+<]
>-.-----------.+++++.-------.--[->+++<]>-.
>++++++++++.>-[--->+<]>--.[--->+<]>--.
[->+++++<]>+.------------.--[->++++<]>-.
--------.-.[++>---<]>++.[->+++<]>-.[---->+
<]>+++.---[->++++<]>.------------.---.--[---
>+<]>-.---[----->Shady++<]>.-------------.-
---.+++++++++++.[++>---<]>--.>-[--->+<]
>--.--[--->++++<]>.---.++++.[->+++++<]
>-.>-[--->+<]>--.>+[----->+++<]>+.-------.
+++.+[--->+<]>++.-[---->+<]>++.[-->+++++++<]
>.----.-------.----.--[--->+<]>--.++++[->+++<]
>.--[--->+<]>-.---[->++++<]>-.+.+[->+++<]
>++.+++++++++++++.----------.-[--->+<]
>-.---[->++++<]>+.-----.[--->++++<]>-.>
++++++++++.[->++++++++<]>.+[--->++++<]
>.---real----.----.--[--->+<]>--.++++[->+++<]
>.--[--->+<]>-.---[->++++<]>-.+.+[->+++<]
>++.+++++++++++++.----------.-[--->+<]>-.---
[->++++<]>+.-----.[->+++++<]>--.++[--->++<]
>.[-->stand+++++<]>.+[--->++++<]>
.-------.----.--[--->+<]>--.++++[->+++<]
>.--[--->+<]>-.---[->++++<]>-.+.+[->+++<]
>++.+++++++++++++.----------.-[--->+<]
>-.---[->++++<]>+.-----.[->+++++<]>--.
```
*Standard Loop Holes*
[Answer]
# Perl, 155
With improvements by [Martin Büttner](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/users/8478/martin-b%c3%bcttner) and [Thaylon](/users/29681):
```
$_="01. Yes, 02X.
All you other1s are just imitating.
So, won't21 p3?
P3. P3.";s/\d/("I'm"," SlimX"," the real","lease stand up")[$&]/ge;s/X/ Shady/g;print
```
[Answer]
## Ruby, 154 bytes
```
$><<"012. Yes, 032.
All you other12s are just imitating.
So, won't312 p4?
P4. P4.".gsub(/\d/){%W{I'm \ Slim \ Shady \ the\ real lease\ stand\ up}[$&.hex]}
```
After helping out a few people with how to split up the filler strings I decided to give their replacement callback idea a go. ;)
[Answer]
# JavaScript (E6) 165
Just the same in another language
```
alert("012. Yes, 05326All you other12s are just imitating6So, won't5312 p4?\nP4. P4."
.replace(/\d/g,x=>"I'm1 Slim1 Shady1real1lease stand up1 the 1.\n".split(1)[x]))
```
Explanation: replace each single digit in the first string with the corresponding string in the array `["I'm"," Slim"," Shady","real","lease stand up"," the ",".\n"]`
Revised with the new rules here at PPCG (output returned from a function, no constraints about features newer than the challenge), this could be 158. See the snippet
```
F=
_=>`012. Yes, 0532.
All you other12s are just imitating.
So, won't5312 p4?
P4. P4.`.replace(/\d/g,x=>"I'm, Slim, Shady,real,lease stand up, the ".split`,`[x])
console.log(F())
```
[Answer]
# CJam - 133
```
"I'm| Slim| Shady| the real|lease stand up|432. Yes, 412.
All you other32s are just imitating.
So, won't132 p0?
P0. P0."'|/~5,{`/\*}/
```
Try it at <http://cjam.aditsu.net/>
I think it also works in GolfScript if you replace `'|` with `"|"`
[Answer]
# GolfScript, ~~162~~ ~~154~~ ~~152~~ 144 bytes
```
"I'm ":i"Slim ":|"Shady":y". Yes, "i"the real ":!y".
All you other "|y"s are just imitating.
So, won't "!|y" p""lease stand up":l"?
P"l". P"l"."
```
[Test online](http://golfscript.apphb.com/?c=IkknbSAiOmkiU2xpbSAiOnwiU2hhZHkiOnkiLiBZZXMsICJpInRoZSByZWFsICI6IXkiLgpBbGwgeW91IG90aGVyICJ8eSJzIGFyZSBqdXN0IGltaXRhdGluZy4KU28sIHdvbid0ICIhfHkiIHAiImxlYXNlIHN0YW5kIHVwIjpsIj8KUCJsIi4gUCJsIi4i)
[Answer]
**VBA 343 bytes**
```
Sub EMINEM()
e = "Slim "
m = "Shady"
i = "I'm "
n = "lease stand up"
em = "real "
MsgBox i & e & m & ". Yes, " & i & "the " & em & m & "." & Chr(10) & "All you other " & e & m & "s are just imitating." & Chr(10) & "So, won't the " & em & e & m & " p" & n & Chr(10) & "P" & n & ". P" & n & "."
End Sub
```
[Answer]
# VBA 307 Bytes
And obfuscated with line separators (just for fun). Based on [this answer](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/a/35556/20807)
```
Function p()
e = "Slim ": m = "Shady": i = "I'm ": n = "lease stand up": s = "real ": a = "."
p = i & e & m & ". Yes, " & i & "the " & s & m & a & Chr(10) & "All you other " & e & m & "s are just imitating." & Chr(10) & "So, won't the " & s & e & m & " p" & n & Chr(10) & "P" & n & ". P" & n & a
End Function
```
Called from the immediate window with `?p`.
The 307 includes the `?p`.
[Answer]
# PHP - 151 bytes
```
<?="I'm Slim Shady".gzinflate("]Œ1
„0E{Á;üÎFr…ÅÒNHe9à°F&‰d&,Þ~Avmßûï;Ì¬=Æ.ÂVFaø•–ÃµÍ ‚#WäÓx    ñR
*Œ­ª!Ä`d!½Ï¹Ï=>9uöót7Ø…Ij”ÔýÕ6Ó?qx‚/");@realstand;
```
hexdump:
```
0000000 3f3c 223d 2749 206d 6c53 6d69 5320 6168
0000010 7964 2e22 7a67 6e69 6c66 7461 2865 5d22
0000020 318c 840a 1030 7b45 3bc1 cefc 7246 c585
0000030 4ed2 6548 e039 46b0 8926 2664 de2c 057e
0000040 7641 df6d effb cc3b 3dac 2ec6 56c2 6146
0000050 f812 9695 b5c3 20cd 2382 e457 14d3 0978
0000060 52f1 2a0a ad8c 21aa 60c4 2164 cfbd cfb9
0000070 3e3d 7539 f3f6 3774 85d8 1949 946a d416
0000080 d5fd d336 713f 8278 222f 3b29 7240 6165
0000090 736c 6174 646e 003b
0000097
```
# Another answer without using gzinflate (228 bytes):
Reads shorts (16 bits), extracts 3 5-bit integers as indices of a lookup table.
```
<?$a=str_split(" .Yes,AlyouthrajimngSw'pP?
")+[27=>"I'm ",'Slim ',@Shady,'the real ','lease stand up'];$b=unpack(@v26,'o…
~:tç       (ƒ-4€t£9ê`0BË-SBT $2U`Y{ÿXg |ác');foreach($b as$c)echo$a[$c>>10],$a[$c>>5&31],$a[$c&31];
```
hexdump:
```
0000000 3f3c 6124 733d 7274 735f 6c70 7469 2228
0000010 2e20 6559 2c73 6c41 6f79 7475 7268 6a61
0000020 6d69 676e 7753 7027 3f50 220a 2b29 325b
0000030 3d37 223e 2749 206d 2c22 5327 696c 206d
0000040 2c27 5340 6168 7964 272c 6874 2065 6572
0000050 6c61 2720 272c 656c 7361 2065 7473 6e61
0000060 2064 7075 5d27 243b 3d62 6e75 6170 6b63
0000070 4028 3276 2c36 9d27 026f 8504 7e0c 3a03
0000080 e774 0918 0901 8328 1c2d 8034 a374 ea39
0000090 6001 3011 cb42 532d 5442 a007 3224 6055
00000a0 9d59 ff7b 5802 2067 e17c 2763 3b29 6f66
00000b0 6572 6361 2868 6224 6120 2473 2963 6365
00000c0 6f68 6124 245b 3e63 313e 5d30 242c 5b61
00000d0 6324 3e3e 2635 3133 2c5d 6124 245b 2663
00000e0 3133 3b5d
00000e4
```
[Answer]
# C, 374
By moving memory
Not the shortest but can it get any faster?
```
#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <string.h>
char *s;
void m (int d, int f, int p)
{
    memmove (s+p+f, s+p, strlen(s)-p+1); // Shift a part of the string to make room for our insertion
    memcpy (s+p, s+d, f); // Copy the desired reference in place
}
int main ()
{
    s = malloc (168);
    strcpy (s,"I'm Slim Shady. Yes, the real.\nAll you others are just imitating.\nSo, won't the please stand up?\nP. ");
    m (0, 4, 21);
    m (8, 6, 33);
    m (3, 11, 54);
    m (28, 5, 100);
    m (3, 11, 105);
    m (118, 14, 135);
    m (134, 16, 151);
    puts (s);
}
```
It's 374 chars long after minification.
```
#include<stdio.h>
#include<stdlib.h>
#include<string.h>
char*s;void m(int d,int f,int p){memmove(s+p+f,s+p,strlen(s)-p+1);memcpy(s+p,s+d,f);}int main(){s=malloc(168);strcpy(s,"I'm Slim Shady. Yes, the real.\nAll you others are just imitating.\nSo, won't the please stand up?\nP. ");m(0,4,21);m(8,6,33);m(3,11,54);m(28,5,100);m(3,11,105);m(118,14,135);m(134,16,151);puts(s);}
```
[Answer]
# Java, 247
My first code golf, while learning Java. Posted it because it beats the other (fully functional) Java entry and the Haskell entry.
```
class S{public static void main(String[]a){String s="I'm",t=" Slim",u=" Shady",v=" the real",w="lease stand up";System.out.print(s+t+u+". Yes, "+s+v+u+".\nAll you other"+t+u+"s are just imitating.\nSo, won't"+v+t+u+" p"+w+"?\nP"+w+". P"+w+".");}}
```
[Answer]
# C# ~~209~~ ~~205~~ ~~201~~ ~~197~~ ~~209~~ ~~212~~ 217
```
class P{static void Main(){System.Console.Write("{0}{1}{2}. Yes, {0}{3}{2}.\nAll you other {1}{2}s are just imitating.\nSo, won't {3}{1}{2} p{4}?\nP{4}. P{4}.", "I'm ","Slim ","Shady","the real ","lease stand up");}}
```
*Now with Proper Capitalization and New Lines*
[Answer]
# VB ~~253~~ ~~249~~ ~~245~~ ~~241~~ ~~244~~ ~~285~~ ~~259~~ 223
I hate New Line termination
```
Module M
Sub Main
Console.Write("{0}{1}{2}. Yes, {0}{3}{2}.{5}All you other {1}{2}s are just imitating.{5}So, won't {3}{1}{2} p{4}?{5}P{4}. P{4}.","I'm ","Slim ","Shady","the real ","lease stand up",vbCr)
End Sub
End Module
```
*Now with proper Capitalization And Newlines in the output, and no Tabs* \*
***Thank you VB for `vbCrLf`***
[Thank you, @Taylor Scott!](https://tio.run/##JY@9asNAEIR7PcWgxglIInHi2gSTIoXAoCK4XEWLfeZ0a@7Hxhz37MpJavZjdmcZ5q5cIF335NRfbdjXoxiZplaGoBlt0YUeLSlTHMQ40dz8WuX5pYxvKb6nuE0NTuwqzPpj0XGXvrTGUwLEX9hi9TmQZVyD81Cj8uSVOc/eTio8xGw85v/Filv8TPt8O2Y2WGZZlT@bERmdVisvNDwzcwYsk553mskxnCczINzK6t4f7GvxnVXusXAtNk3/)
[Answer]
# PowerShell ~~194~~ ~~189~~ 164
```
"{0}{1}{2}. Yes, {0}{3}{2}.`nAll you other {1}{2}s are just imitating.`nSo, won't {3}{1}{2} p{4}?`nP{4}. P{4}."-f"I'm ","Slim ","Shady","the real ","lease stand up"
```
Somehow my answer ened up resembling [@nneonneo's](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/a/35531/3970) a lot, even though it wasn't my original intent...
[Answer]
# PHP - 196 171
```
<?$S="Shady";$P="lease stand up";$R="the real ";$I="I'm ";$s="Slim ";echo"$I$s$S. Yes, $I$R$S
All you other $s$S"."s are just imitating.
So, won't $R$s$S p$P?
P$P. P$P."
```
;
[Answer]
# Lua ~~201~~ ~~193~~ ~~188~~ 178
```
h=" Shady"i="I'm"s=" Slim"..h r=" the real"u="lease stand up"io.write(i,s,". Yes, ",i,r,h,".\nAll you other",s,"s are just imitating.\nSo, won't",r,s," p",u,"?\nP",u,". P",u,".")
```
Ungolfed & expanded some
```
h=" Shady"
i="I'm"
s=" Slim"..h
r=" the real"
u="lease stand up"
io.write(i,s,". Yes, ",i,r,h,".\nAll you other",s,"s are just imitating.\nSo, won't",r,s," p",u,"?\nP",u,". P",u,".")
```
[Answer]
# Common Lisp, 197
```
(let((a"I'm ")(b"Slim ")(c"Shady")(d"real ")(e"lease stand up"))(format t"~{~A~}"(list a b c". Yes, "a"the "d c".
All you other "b c"s are just imitating.
So, won't the "d b c" p"e"?
P"e". P"e"")))
```
[Answer]
# Perl, 161 ~~164~~ bytes
Not quite as short as [squeamish ossifrage's answer](https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/questions/35516/the-real-slim-shady#answer-35525), but I wanted to share the CamelCaseCompression, which no one else has used and allows the removal of many spaces and quotation marks.
It does need a slightly longer text to become truly beneficial, though.
```
$_="0 1 2. Yes, 03 2.
AllYouOther 1 2sAreJustImitating.
So, won't3 1 24?
4. 4.";s/\d/qw(I'm Slim Shady TheReal PleaseStandUp)[$&]/ge;s/\B([A-Z])/ \L\2/g;print
```
Edit: Following Thaylon's suggestion, the `s/(\S)([A-Z])/\1 \L\2/g` substitution has been shortened by four characters. That doesn't pick up on comma-capital digraphs, though, so an extra space had to be inserted before "won't".
[Answer]
**PYTHON: ~~198~~ 193 bytes**
```
i,s,h,r,t="I'm ","Slim ","Shady","real ","lease stand up"
print i+s+h+". Yes, "+i+"the "+r+h+".\nAll you other "+s+h+"s are just imitating.\nSo, won't the "+r+s+h+" p"+t+"?\n"+"P"+t+'. P'+t+'.'
```
[Answer]
## Golfscript - 140 (tweetable)
```
"I'm"" Slim"" Shady"". Yes, "3$" the real"3$".
All you other"6$2$"s are just imitating.
So won't"5$3$3$" p""lease stand up""?
P"1$". P"1$"."
```
I'm Slim Shady. Yes, 3 the real 3.
All you other 62s are just imitating.
So won't 533 please stand up?
P1. P1.
[Answer]
# [///](https://esolangs.org/wiki////), 131 bytes
```
/0/ Shady//1/lease stand up//2/ the real//3/ Slim0//4/I'm/43. Yes, 420.
All you other3s are just imitating.
So, won't23 p1?
P1. P1.
```
[Try it online!](https://tio.run/##DcuxCoMwFIXh3ac4m4vkqHEvHbsVnDpe8FJTohFvRHz61OHfvt@i2KxWCltinGW6yI5RxRSWZZ1wbGRP5Fmxq0TS3zCGpSUHvuqFg3f4qDUY@tZVzxhxpQPpHnZvkF3xOywjLCFLDuvXVWNqcKa1zr3H1j2qd@dwV8of "/// – Try It Online")
[Answer]
# [Rust](https://www.rust-lang.org/) (full program), ~~183~~ ~~180~~ ~~178~~ ~~173~~ 172 bytes
*178 -> 173 bytes, thanks to Sara J*
```
fn main(){print!("{}{}{}. Yes, {0}{}{2}.
All you other{1}{2}s are just imitating.
So, won't{3}{1}{2} p{}?
P{4}. P{4}.","I'm"," Slim"," Shady"," the real","lease stand up")}
```
[Try it online!](https://tio.run/##JYzNCsIwEITvfYoxl1Yoxb@7ePQm9ORxodFG0qQkW6SEPHtMLAuzM8PwucVzSi@DiZRp9mF2yvCuESGW6/CUvkU4lHSKXXXTGqtdYHmULhxL6UFO4pM5UJNiYmXeXdXbFl9rag7nuO0wh3itHuGSqX8VrbjXU1b0Wm1/pGEtJtPhJOnstSQv4ZnMgGUW@5jSDw "Rust – Try It Online")
[Answer]
# C# 226
```
class P{static void Main(){System.Console.Write("{0}{1}{2}. Yes, {0} the{3} {2}.All you other{1}{2}s are just imitating.So, won't the{3}{1}{2} please{4}up?Please{4}up. Please{4}up.","I'm"," Slim ","Shady"," real"," stand ");}}
```
[Answer]
# Java, ~~308~~ ~~301~~ ~~298~~ ~~292~~ 258
Java is a bit verbose, but here is my try:
```
class P{public static void main(String[]c){String s=" Shady",t=" the real",l="lease stand up",i=" Slim",m="I'm";System.out.format("%s%s%s. Yes, %s%s%s.\nAll you other%s%ss are just imitating.\nSo, won't%s%s%s p%s?\nP%s. P%s.",m,i,s,m,t,s,i,s,t,i,s,l,l,l);}}
```
[Answer]
**MySQL: 273 267**
```
set @i="I'm", @s="Slim", @h="Shady", @r="real", @t="stand", @p="lease stand up";select concat(@i," ",@s," ",@h,". Yes, ",@i," the ",@r," ",@h,".\r\nAll you other ",@s," ",@h,"s are just imitating.\r\nSo, won't the ",@r," ",@s," ",@h," p",@p,"?\r\nP",@p,". P",@p,".");
```
[Answer]
# Ruby: 211
This one is impressive since simply printing the text is more efficient, but this is way cooler.
```
puts Zlib.inflate("eJxdjDEKwzAQBHu9Yjs3Rl8ILt0FVKU88GErnCWhO2H8e6sIwUmzxQyz87AjSOyz0XJ6vFhHzB3axqhM8hFuEsGZG3IX9ZYoqDLeTQ1xj0YW0+pdyCOOnAa7/XwTFGFShhqlBa083PMXePyDC15NOP8=".unpack("m0")[0])#I'mSlimShadyrealstand
```
[Answer]
# JavaScript ~~259~~ ~~240~~ 238 bytes
Not that good but might as well post an answer.
```
b=String.prototype,b.a=b.replace,alert("123. Yes, 16537All you other 23s are just imitating7So, won't 6523 p4?\nP4. P4.".a(/1/g,"I'm ").a(/2/g,"Slim ").a(/3/g,"Shady").a(/4/g,"lease stand up").a(/5/g,"real ").a(/6/g,"the ").a(/7/g,".\n"))
```
More readable version :
```
b=String.prototype
b.a=b.replace
alert("123. Yes, 16537All you other 23s are just imitating7So, won't 6523 p4?\nP4. P4."
    .a(/1/g,"I'm ")
    .a(/2/g,"Slim ")
    .a(/3/g,"Shady")
    .a(/4/g,"lease stand up")
    .a(/5/g,"real ")
    .a(/6/g,"the ")
    .a(/7/g,".\n")
    )
```
[Answer]
# F#, 250 242
```
[1..21]|>List.iter((function|1|5->"I'm "|2|9|13->"Slim "|4->". Yes, "|6|12->"the real "|8->".\nAll you other "|11->"s are just imitating.\nSo won't "|15->" p"|16|18|20-> "lease stand up"|17->"?\nP"|19->". P"|21->"."|_->"Shady")>>printf "%s")
```
More readable version with line breaks:
```
[1..21]|>List.iter((function
|1|5->"I'm "
|2|9|13->"Slim "
|4->". Yes, "
|6|12->"the real "
|8->".\nAll you other "
|11->"s are just imitating.\nSo won't "
|15->" p"
|16|18|20-> "lease stand up"
|17->"?\nP"
|19->". P"
|21->"."
|_->"Shady")>>printf "%s")
```
[Answer]
# JavaScript (ES6), ~~165~~ 163 bytes
```
f=
_=>`${a="I'm"}${b=` Slim${c=` Shady`}`}. Yes, ${a+(d=" the real")+c}.
All you other${b}s are just imitating.
So, won't${d+b} p${e="lease stand up"}?
P${e}. P${e}.`
console.log(f());
```
]