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Jonathan Lauter

Not Too Young, Not Too Old: Parenting An Adolescent

4/1/2016

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Teenage years are challenging. This is the time in where physical, emotional, and mental developments are at an all-time high. People at this stage desire independence from authority figures. For parents and guardians, raising a teenager is an equally difficult task that can make them the antagonist for every well-meaning act. What then can parents do to better raise their adolescents?

Communicate in love
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Adolescents can be stubborn. That shouldn’t stop parents from unconditionally loving their children. If a teenager will not listen, calm explanations might get them to think twice. Avoid hostile words and instead, encourage them to be open and ask questions. They must be affirmed of love and support, no matter what.
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Image source: practicingparents.com
Set balanced rules

With newfound freedom, teenagers challenge their limits. Parents should set rules that are simple yet definite. Setting a midnight curfew or asking to constantly check in wherever he or she goes are instructions that are specific and doable. When this isn’t done, parents must also set reasonable punishments like making the teenager do extra chores or grounding from after-school activities the whole week.

Listen without judgment
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Adolescents have a lot of questions. If adults don't answer these issues, they may find lacking responses from equally clueless peers. When a teenager opens up, it’s best to let him or her talk and lay down all thoughts. If a view is misinformed, correct with respect. For well-meaning ones, support and assure.
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Image source: cdc.gov
These three points will not only help parents and guardians but also train the adolescents to become healthy, respectful and affable people.
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Accomplished psychiatrist Dr. Jonathan Lauter works in Spring Valley and Manhattan, New York. He is a fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. Follow this Twitter accountfor news and updates on child and adolescent psychiatry. ​
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Breaking It Gently:  How To Tell Children News Of Divorce

3/8/2016

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Divorce involves the entire family. Parents should realize that the separation not only affects them but their children as well.
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There’s a wealth of literature on how divorce influences the psychology of children. Children perceive their parents’ separation depending on how the parents broached the topic and their behavior about it. To ensure the happy and stable development of children even after divorce, parents should relate the process to children in a two-step manner.
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Image Source: huffpost.com
The first is telling the child of the separation. This is a painful topic, no matter the timing, so parents should not wait too long to talk to the child about their decision. It is recommended that both parents talk to their child. If parents feel that they cannot talk about the issue together, then the child should be able to speak with both his or her parents at separate times.
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It is important that the child hear both sides of the story and be assured of both parents’ love and support no matter what happens afterwards. Usually, the child fears that the separation of his or her parents will result in a halving of love; parents should therefore be clear in maintaining that their love for their child will not waver, regardless of the legal status of the marriage.
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Image Source: separation.ca
Secondly, parents should maintain a civil relationship in front of their children after the separation. Children are impressionable and they develop behaviors based on what they are exposed to. Even if it is challenging in the beginning, parents should refrain from bickering in front of their children, or talk about each other in a bad light. This will feed the idea to the child that one of the parents will be alienated from his or her life.

Parents are recommended to seek the advice of their mental health expert for more detailed strategies.
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Dr. Jonathan Lauter is known for his compassionate psychiatric service towards children and adolescents. Learn more about his field by liking this Facebook page.
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Understanding Depression and Suicide

1/27/2016

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Across all mental disorders, depression carries the highest risk of suicide. Unfortunately, many cases of depression go untreated because of the high social stigma still attached to this mental disorder.  Suicide is considered the 10th leading cause of death in the United States and the World Health Organization estimates that a life is lost to suicide every minute worldwide.  It is also estimated that men take their lives almost four times the rate of women, accounting for around 79 percent of suicides in the U.S.

To understand suicide, it is also important to recognize the mindset that drives a person to want to take their life.  There are many reasons why a person would consider suicide, but if is it an outcome of depression, then it can be prevented.  Mental health practitioners report that over 90 percent of people who die by suicide suffer from clinical depression or another diagnosable (and treatable) mental disorder.
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Image source: meanttobehappy.com
Depression is diagnosed if a person exhibits two or more symptoms outlined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) for more than two weeks.  This includes feelings of worthlessness, changes in sleep patterns, changes in eating patterns, reduced sex drive, poor concentration and memory, among others.  These may lead to thoughts of suicide. People who constantly talk about death and who make comments about being hopeless, helpless or worthless should be taken very seriously.  A common mistake is believing these statements to be jokes, particularly if it is said by a teenager or someone who is considered to be full of angst.

Parents, caregivers, and friends should immediately report anyone they fear has a high potential for committing suicide.
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Image source: healthyplace.com
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The Real Implications of Children Having Imaginary Friends

12/15/2015

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Popular media has made the concept of childhood imaginary friends a scary one.  People are now under the impression that if a child has an imaginary friend, that child has a psychological problem.  This is not true in any aspect.  Many psychiatrists are now educating the public about the true nature of imaginary friends in children and how they could benefit them and when to seek medical help.
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Image source: howafrica.wordpress.com
In general, children develop imaginary friends when they are about 2 to 7 years old, although friends may stay longer depending on the child.  These friends are more common among children who are the only child.  It is estimated that by around the age 7, around 37 percent of children create an invisible friend.  It is untrue, however, that children who invent friends are lonely or have social problems.  Psychological studies have shown that children with imaginary companies score no differently than their counterparts regarding emotional stability; in fact, some studies even claim that children with imaginary friends tend to be less shy and engage in more laughing and smiling with their peers. 

Imaginary friends can be a source of comfort for a child experiencing difficulties.  Usually, these friends appear while or after a traumatic event.  These friends help the child cope.  It must also be noted that most children know and understand the difference between real and imaginary friends.  Further studies have found that children know that the people they’re talking or referring to are not real.
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Image source: supernaturalmagazine.com
There are cases where a child can no longer differentiate between his or her friends.  For children who insist on their imaginary friend being real, parents may wish to consider visiting a child psychiatrist.

Dr. Jonathan Lauter
 is a qualified general child psychiatrist.  Follow this Twitter account for the latest developments on the field of child and adolescent psychiatry.
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    Jonathan Lauter

    Jonathan Lauter, M.D., is a certified general and child and adolescent psychiatrist, currently serving as a clinician at the Refuah Health Center in Spring Valley, New York, and running a private practice in Manhattan. He is a fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and an alumnus of the Langley Porter Institute at the University of California,  San Francisco.

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