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Octopus Jokes 🐙 in 2025

What story do octopus parents read to their kids?…
– Octopuss in boots.

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Why is the octopus such a good cook?
– Because he’s a chef-alopod!

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What do you call an octopus with a hat?…
– An octopus with a hat of course.

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Why is the octopus the most popular animal?
– Because it’s tenta-cool!

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Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?…
– Because the octopus was well armed.

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I heard on the news that the police were looking for a runaway octopus
– They said he was armed and dangerous

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Why can’t an octopus commit a crime?
– They don’t have a bad bone in their body! (octopus don’t have bones)

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Why is an octopus always positive?
– Because it always sees the octo-plus side of things!

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A teacher asks the class to name six creatures that you might find in the sea.
– One of the pupils replies, “five octopuses and a herring”.

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?…
– An animal that milks itself.

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Who held the baby octopus for a ransom?…
– Squidnappers.

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What is an octopus’s favourite game?
– Squidditch!

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Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]Cat:
– you’re one short pal

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A chap goes to the cinema and is surprised to see an octopus sitting on the seat beside him.
– “How come you are here?” he asks.
– The octopus says “I enjoyed the book”.

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What did the octopus receive from the chiropractor?
– A back kraken.

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What do you call a lesbian octopus?
– A lickalotopuss.

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Where does an octopus sleep?
– On the seabed!

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An octopus politician offered to pay my debts if I voted for him.I guess it’s squid pro quo

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